Puberty causes big changes not only for our teen's body, but for their emotions and mental health too. This can affect all different aspects of their life and your relationship with them.
Join us here on Wednesday 16th November at 12pm where our psychologist Linda and medical professional Akhil will be answering your questions on all things puberty! We'll be covering a range of topics including mental and physical health, LGBTQIA+ wellbeing, connection, relationships and more. See you then!
Hi all and thanks for joining us!
Today our Psychologist and Clinical Lead, Linda, will be answering your questions on all things puberty related. A big thank you to those who submitted their questions!
We will be chatting a bit about mental health, relationships and body image during this event. If this brings up anything for you, we encourage you to practice some self-care and reach out for support if you need. Some helpful support services are :
We welcome you to add your thoughts, experiences and questions as we go - or whenever you are having a read through. Let's get started!
Q : How can we guide our kids through the changes of puberty?
Linda : "It can be helpful to start with having a good understanding of some of the changes that happen during puberty, so that you can be a source of information for your children.
Open communication is important in relationships between parents and teens. It helps to focus on providing non-judgemental support, really listening to your teens' concerns and opinions."
"Sometimes your teen may not want to talk things over in detail with you, and that’s okay. You can provide regular invitations to talk, and make it clear your door is always open, without attempting to make them talk. Finding activities you can do together can also be a great way of maintaining a positive and supportive relationship with your teen.
It’s important to support your teens' move toward developing independence. Ways you can do this include revisiting the rules and boundaries you have, as these may need to be adjusted regularly to make sure they are appropriate for your child’s age and development. This includes making sure that your teen has a clear understanding of expectations, and the consequences of rule-breaking. This doesn’t mean that they won’t break the rules from time to time, but breaking rules (and experiencing consequences) is part of the process of learning for them as well.
If your teen comes to you with a problem or concern, focus on listening, rather than giving them advice. It may also be helpful to offer to problem-solve together, as a way to support the development of their decision-making abilities."
Resources : Creating boundaries and open communication when your child is going through puberty
Q : My teen daughter seems to be more self-conscious lately with her body and appearance. How can I help?
Linda : "You’ve already taken the first important step, which is noticing that something has changed. It’s really common for teens to experience worries about their appearance and body. This can be prompted by some of the physical changes of puberty as well as social pressure to look a certain way.
Teens can often be very focused on appearance, so one of the things that can help is noticing and talking about positive qualities your daughter has (without talking about her appearance). This encourages positive self-esteem which helps protect against negative body image.
You can also act as a role model when it comes to talking about body image and eating. Some of the ways you can do this is by not participating in diet culture (for instance, not encouraging dieting, and not labelling certain foods as ‘bad’); focusing conversations on things other than appearance or eating, and being critical of unhelpful messages from the media."
"It’s also important to keep the lines of communication open. Teens are often reluctant to talk too much to parents about what is happening for them, but by regularly checking in and expressing support and interest, your daughter will know that she can talk to you when she’s ready.
Sometimes concerns about body image can be linked to an eating disorder. If your daughter shows signs of changes in her eating habits, is exercising excessively, or appears very worried about her weight or food intake, you may find it helpful to speak with the Butterfly Foundation."
Resources : Body image and puberty
Q : My teen often has angry outbursts. Is this normal?
Linda : "As your teen goes through puberty, you might notice that they express anger or frustration more often than before. Puberty can be a stressful time since teens are dealing with physical, social and emotional changes. Stress and other difficult emotions can sometimes show up in the form of angry outbursts.
However, if your teen seems angry most of the time, if they are behaving in a way which is damaging their relationships with family and friends, or if anger is getting them into trouble at school, this can be a sign that they are having more than the usual challenges when it comes to dealing with anger.
It’s important to keep in mind that anger or an irritable mood can be a sign of depression or another mental health problem, so if you notice your teen is angry a lot, it is useful to think about whether there are any other changes in their behaviour you have noticed (like problems with sleep or appetite, not spending time with friends, not doing things they usually enjoy). If you have noticed other changes, then it is worth considering professional help."
"The best time to talk to your teen about anger is a time when they are feeling calm or in a relatively good mood. They may feel defensive if they think they are in trouble or going to be blamed for being angry, so it is important to be ready to listen, and understand what is happening for them. There may be particular challenges which are contributing to anger, or they may not know why they get angry.
The aim is to work as a team to identify a helpful next step - whether this is seeing a professional, practicing some strategies to manage their anger, or doing some problem solving together to address a situation with which is contributing to their anger."
Resources : Help your teen manage their anger
Thank you so much for joining, and to Linda for providing such valuable answers and information!
Puberty is such a huge topic that covers so many aspects of our teen's lives and we've seen some fantastic questions here! You can check out more of our articles on puberty here too. We also encourage you to add your thoughts, experiences and any other questions you may have, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
