15 year old son wants to live at his mates house

[Nitro]

Hello,

My son started staying a few nights at his mates house and now has not been home for 4 weeks. We are in contact by phone and he drops in for a shower or to take drinks and food back with him. When i asked him why he doesn't come home he say's he doesn't won't to be alone. I work full time to pay the rent etc. His behaviour started changing when he went to high school, to the point that he has only attended one term and has not been back since. I have had contact continually with the school for two years and tried to get him to speak someone like Headspace or our GP but he refuses. He is not angry, abusive or threatening towards me at all, telling me he loves me very much. I am a widow and he was 2 1/2 yrs old when his father passed away so he has no recollection of him. He has a elder brother and sister. We had an issue as he wanted to smoke dope at home and i said no this is not allowed, I caught him a couple of times and repeatedly asked not to smoke at home, this is why I think he is staying away. The  parents of his mates says he is like a son to them and he can stay there permanently if he wants to. I am devastated, I feel like I have lost my son to another family, what am I able to do about this.

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @Nitro , that sounds like a particularly tricky situation to be in. You mentioned that your son said that he goes over to his friends house as he does not like being alone, have you had a chance to talk with him more about why this is? You might be able to gather some information from your son to help you understand the situation a bit more. It sounds like you have been really proactive with your son already as you have tried to get him to talk to his GP and Headspace. Have you had a talk with your son about him talking with his school counsellor? Would that be something that he would be comfortable doing? 

[Nitro]

Hi Sophia,

Yes is is talking with a youth worker  from Workskill at the moment. As he doesn't attend school and his siblings are much older than him he is home alone while im at work.

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Nitro 

Thanks for getting back to us. How are things going with your sons youth worker?

I'm wondering if perhaps your son could be struggling to fill his day a bit? As he's not at school and is home alone in the day, could he be finding it challenging to use his time?