15 year old wants to do whatever he wants

[Ruffhead]

My son is 15. He flips and flops from civilised young man who you can reason with,to an angry boy who uses gross language and is very disrespectful. He is smoking marijuana,don't know how often. He has drank alcohol and been drunk with friends. He has missed school ,more often in the last 6 months and says it doesn't matter. He walks out,after we ask him to stay in and this could be at 11 pm on a school night. He won't return texts or calls. He does have a part time job but I only fear this gives him more freedom to do what he wants. I feel his friends are not great influences,none of them have healthy hobbies etc. they do a lot of chill'in.  We are really struggling to parent him. He he has a nice home,sister,two parents. We do give home plenty of freedom but he always pushes for more,

[Dad4good]

Hi @Ruffhead,

I feel your pain . . . we are also going through a similar situation.

From my experience it seems to be that all we can do is try and work on the relationship. For us this meant treating our son as more of an adult. Our role went from 'manager' (trying to control his choices) to 'consultant' (providing recommendations, but in the end the choices are his to make and live with). This at least helped to improve the relationship (had no effect on his behavior though).

Best of luck, thoughts are with you!

[Jay-RO]

Hi there @Ruffhead and welcome!  How are things going with your son?

@Dad4good has already shared some fantastic advice on the situation that has hopefully been helpful to you  

I also thought I might share an article of ReachOut called Balance Trust and Freedom, about the balance between trusting your teenager and giving them freedom. It has some suggestions that might be helpful. What do you think?