16 dropping out of life

[Concerned123]

I live with a single parent and her teen/young adult, 16 nearly 17. It’s the typical issue of he is big, taller and broader than her and is intimidating. He constantly uses abusive language at her in text or face to face. He dropped out of school, doesn’t look for work and she has tried to find him help but it is difficult as he won’t cooperate, doesn’t leave the house except to suit himself, very passive aggressive nature generally. I live with them and it’s very hard to see and actually hard to live with. It’s like he is just hiding out but no one can say anything to him as his gets aggressive. Does anyone know of a a service that can ‘reach in’ in a case like this?

[TOM-RO]

Hey @Concerned123 

Thanks so much for sharing what's going on for you. I can understand how it would be really uncomfortable to watch your partner being spoken to in an aggressive/disrespectful way. You obviously really care about her and I'm sure she's really appreciative of your support.

It's tricky if he is resistant to support. In most instances, practitioners can't provide services without the client's consent, so it is hard to get someone to "reach in" per say, if he doesn't want the help. It definitely seems as though he is tackling some sort of issue and that he would benefit from help, so it's unfortunate that he isn't receptive to it.

One idea that might be of benefit would be to actually seek professional support with your partner, to receive advice on how to deal with the issue. Is this something you would consider?

[Concerned123]

Thanks for your awesome reply @TOM-RO

Yes I have suggested that too. Might be worth looking into again to see if she would do it.

It’s just unbelievable that a young person can choose this and there not be any way of getting them out of it, or assisting him to get him self out of it. It’s a very slippery slope.

Thanks again for your reply and suggestion.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Concerned123 

Just wanted to check in and see how you are going?

One thing that came to mind when reading through this topic is around safety for your household. I can imagine the physical and verbal intimidation must be having such a huge impact on your wellbeing! 1800RESPECT can be really helpful should your household members want some more support to work through with a professional who is trained around domestic issues such as this. 

Are you concerned about escalating behaviour at all, or for the safety of yourself and the mother of this teen? 

We also have a parents one on one service that might be helpful for to walk through how to encourage him to seek help and support too. 

Sending all our wishes your way- this is such a tough situation and your household is lucky to have someone looking for options to seek help