Hi @Beal71    Autumn is such a beautiful season to be outside. It can be particularly fascinating for children too. Teaching children about the uniqueness of each season can be so fun through activities like collecting things such as pinecones or autumn leaves when outside exploring and helping them understand the natural world. Which part of the world are you in? Specific outdoors activities will really depend on what you have around you, perhaps this can be a thread where parents can discuss all the things their young children like to do as the weather gets colder.  ... View more

Hello @Birdwings and welcome to this section of the forum @EndoLife1    These lockdowns are having a profound impact on our mental health and that of our children. I am sorry to hear about your son @Birdwings it is really good that he sat dow with you to talk about it. All these tips are incredibly valuable. Finding ways to bring routine back into our days which are now very often feeling chaotic, can be really helpful and grounding. Parents are putting a lot of pressure on themselves to be there for their children during this time but it is a very hard job to be there for our families and ourselves and for a lot of people, their work too! It is great to hear you have such good coping strategies. I hope this can be a place where we discuss more    ... View more

Hi Ilovemykids4, thanks for posting on ReachOut forums tonight. Reachout primarily provides resources related to mental health, however, what type of health concerns are you referring too? we might be able to point you in the right direction.  ... View more

Hi @Annalo welcome to ReachOut, thank you for sharing and reaching out to us. I am sorry to hear that you and your family are going through such a difficult time right now, I can really hear how hard you've been trying. It can be so hard when kids direct their anger at their parents. We have no idea where it's coming from, and sometimes they're not sure either. I'm wondering if you have tried any Counselling support or chatting with a psychologist for your son?   While all this is happening, I am also wondering if you have been doing anything to take care of yourself? Such as self-care, talking to someone close to you or speaking with a professional? It's important to take care of yourself during difficult times. Helplines such as Parentline can be great places to start, what do you think? ... View more

Hi @Jojo_123 ,   It sounds like you are doing an excellent job as a parent. As you pointed out, until they are comfortable with opening up, all you can do is support them for a distance and reassure them that you love them and are their for them.   I feel it is important to recognise that transition and exploration of identity is a crucial part of a teenagers development, some teenagers approach this from a young age, some closer to their 20s. Rebellion is hardwired in us as a way of forging an independent self as an adult. In some way, they will need to find their own way of approaching this before introducing you to this idea of self that they have developed. So when you feel that they are pulling away, I feel it can be an important reminder that this is part of the process, as much as it can hurt at the time.   In terms of the self-harm, I think you've done a great job with letting her know that she can speak to you if she is feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps expanding the conversation a little such as, "Who else are you comfortable with speaking to if you are feeling sad or overwhelmed?" A robust safety plan contains multiple contacts so the person is in distress can always reach someone if someone else is unavailable. ... View more

Hi @In-the-village    Thank you for introducing yourself and welcome to the forums! I really love how much you value quality time with your kids and how you try to find the joy in each day. Gratitude really does make a huge difference in our lives and can be the simplest thing to incorporate into your life on a daily basis. I also really value and appreciate your parenting tip so thank you    ... View more

Hi @Me102    I'm sorry to hear that you feel distant from your kids, I can imagine how difficult that must be for you. I can see that you have already listed some great ideas so far. I love the movie idea, what a great way to settle down for the night!   We have had members post to the forums in similar positions before, so you are definitely not alone in this. We have a large number of forum posts that might also have some helpful suggestions. For example, this Post has a number of activities to do on school holidays.   Let us know how you go. ... View more

Hello @anitarobins    We really appreciate you posting these helpful tips for parents. It's always important for everyone to read the most updated guidelines around safety of car seats for children.     ... View more

Thank you for flagging that, the post has been removed. ... View more

Hi @ladybates ,   That’s a difficult situation you’re in with a couple sticky obstacles in the way of open communication as you’ve identified. I want to first acknowledge your excellent self-awareness and ability to recognise the verity of options of how to approach this. Navigating mixed family situations is always tricky!   My gut feeling is that sharing drinks is very common within her family, some people may view it as a sign of intimacy or closeness with other family members. As you’ve pointed out, everyone was brought up differently so we could almost view this as different family “cultures” of interaction, and when two different cultures interact, there is bound to be some friction.   I would say checking in with your husband isn’t a bad idea, if maybe to get his perspective on the situation or advice as to how approach his mother in the future. I feel if she is as sensitive as you describe her, regardless of how you approach it she may take it differently than you intended to. So it may be worth asking yourself, how much this matters to you and if you are able to let go of some of your feelings if you aren’t able to bring it up to her in future? ... View more

Hi Soccermum,   The best person to speak to about fitness for your child, if you are concerned about the effects of weightlifting on a growing skeletal system, would be your GP or Pediatrician . Otherwise, enrolling your child with a personal trainer who is familiar with teaching adolescents would be a good option.    For more general information on weight training with teenagers I found this resource online that may help:   https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=weight-training-for-teens-1-2381 ... View more

Hi Peaceful,   Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you've joined and are looking for more support. It sounds like you are having difficulties with your kids and are struggling but have a really positive attitude about it all.   If  you do want to share more about your situation, please feel welcome to create your own thread by clicking 'Start a topic' in the top right hand corner.  ... View more

Hi Chris15,   I am sorry to hear that you're having a tough time with your 14 year old. It sounds like they are quite angry and frustrated at the moment and this is creating a very hostile environment within the home.    Would you be able to share a bit more detail as to what your situation is like? When did this behavior start occurring? What supports do you have at the moment? Are you concerned for you or your child's well-being?   In the meantime, some basic tips on how to approach an angry tip might give you a starting point, you can find some here. ... View more

Dear @mariadavis    Thank you for raising this topic. An outpatient program in a virtual setting sounds like a great idea, especially with the current COVID situation. It's good that you're really considering whether it's suitable for you or not. It might be worth talking to your GP or therapist to determine whether it best suits your needs. Please do let us know what you end up deciding, and if you do decide to do the program, let us know how it went!   Just so you're aware, I've removed the link you shared. Sharing links, especially to particular services, is against our guidelines. Please feel free to read more about our guidelines here.  ... View more

Dear @Juffie    Thanks so much for your post. I'm sure it's a topic that many parents can benefit from reading about.    We actually have an article that might be worth reading on blended families and teenagers here.    Relationship's Australia also has a tip sheet for blended families here. Relationships Australia can also provide counselling to couples and families.    Stepfamilies Australia is another great resource - see their webpage here. They have a range of courses, tip sheets, and recommended books. They also have a 'find a professional' page.    You might also want to register with our free, one-on-one support service, which you can find out more about here.   It is also worth knowing about the following two, confidential, free, anonymous helplines: Family Relationship Advice Line - 1800 050 321 (find out more about it here) Parentline - their number differs depending what state you're calling from, see here.    It sounds like you are concerned about your daughter feeling uncomfortable and shy, which is completely understandable. It might be a good idea to set some ground rules - e.g., no internet after 8pm. It's good that you meet for dinner, and I'd encourage you to continue doing this. It might be helpful to play family games, like uno or monopoly, or to have movie nights. Another idea is to play a game where it's the parents vs. the kids (or parents + 1 boy vs. your daughter + 1 boy), so that the kids are forced to bond but in a fun way. We know that having a common enemy brings people closer, so if you parents are the 'enemy' in the game (i.e., the people they are competing against), then it might help bring them closer together.   Please do have a look at the resources I've shared with you, and let us know how you go. It might be worth trying the tips shared in these resources, and if you're still having problems, then stepping up to professional support.  ... View more

Dear @Jazzabelle    Thank you for your post. It is never nice to see our children going through a separation, especially when there are young kids involved.    In terms of how to help, just being there for your son and his family can go a long way. By being there, this could include offering a shoulder to cry on, listening, offering words of encouragement, offering to help out with the kids.   We have an article on separation that might be helpful for you to read here.   Please keep us updated with how things go.  ... View more

Hello @Hopesprings123,  It sounds like a very stressful situation for the both of you, so it’s great to hear that you and your daughter have been talking about this. We actually have a Youth forum that is a safe and controlled environment where she could read about people in similar situations or join in on the conversation. This may help her feel more understood and give her a place where she can go to for a fresh insight. Headspace also offers a similar forum. ... View more

Hi @Ali27 , Thank you for sharing, I can understand how tough this must be for you. It’s great to hear that you have sought out some extra support for your son. You mentioned that you feel like your son is lying, are there any reasons you may feel this way? I can see how concerning this behaviour is to you.   I also just wanted to let you know that I have had to edit some of your post to make sure if keeps within our community guidelines which you can view here if you'd like to. ... View more

Hi @Datchick  Thank you for posting here on the forums  It sounds like you are in a tricky position, I can imagine it would be hard to know what the right thing to do here is, and I don't think it is as simple as being right or wrong either. It's certainly concerning that your child is screaming and hitting themselves when exposed to different foods and that they have such a limited diet. I wonder if it would be worth getting your partner to speak to his mum about what she is able to feed him and how she manages meal times. It also might be something to consult a GP or maternal health nurse about to see what the possible reasons could be and also to check for any deficiencies he could have.     TOM-RO ... View more

Hi @Brennan ,   Thank you for posting here on the forums. I am not sure if there is a right and a wrong in this situation. It is more dependent on what you and anyone who lives in the house, feels comfortable with. Is this something you son has just recently started doing? And how comfortable would you be having a conversation with your son about this? In general social situations, it is not socially acceptable to be naked in public for a variety of reasons and if your son does not understand this it might be a good indication for you to have a conversation with him about social norms and expectations.    Please do let us know how it goes or give us any more information for context! Definitely a tricky thing to navigate.   RO- MOD ... View more

Hi Informational,   It sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment with trying to reach an amenable parenting arrangement with your husband. I feel it’s reasonable to have some concerns about your children travelling overseas if you feel his parental care has been lacking in the past. I feel like it’s not a bad idea to request a more detailed itinerary if you feel like you are not able to reasonably contact your ex-partner and children while they are travelling overseas.   It sounds like this situation has been fairly upsetting for your children. How have they been managing so far with the separation? What supports do they have to reach out to?   Do you have any concerns about your children’s safety at the moment? If you have concerns over their wellbeing in the care of your ex-partner, I would urge you to express these concerns with your local child protection agency if you feel these concerns serious.   It can be difficult to determine in these situations if our concerns are reasonable or if we are reacting strongly due to the emotions surrounding a separation and our ex. Have you been able to speak to a counsellor in regards to the separation and your feeling surrounding your ex?   We hope the reach out parenting forums can be of some support to you during this difficult time.   P.S   I have edited your post slightly to remove any identifying information as per our community guideline:   Stay anonymous at all times: please don’t post any information that could identify you or anyone you’re posting about, including school names/ teachers, or link to personal information like blogs or social media accounts. Please respect other people’s anonymity, even if you think you may know them in real life.    For more information please visit the link here for our full community guidelines. ... View more

Hi @RiverGirl    Yeah that sounds tough all round! I can imagine I'd feel very reluctant to get up early if I've had a late nights, that's only natural but it sounds like it's become a bad habit. I would say that the routine is key here. So if you look at the classic "sleep hygiene" ideas, it's all about setting up a good sleep routine to help with these issues. The main thing if nothing else, is to go to bed as close to the same time as possible and get up at the same time regardless of what else is going on. What you've described is hard because your son has trouble with sleep medication and is struggling to self sooth. This sounds like a broader issue but directly impacts sleep. Of course if this continues to be an issue I imagine it will impact almost all other areas of his life socially, emotionally and with study. I'd suggest to always keep professionals involved including general practitioners and even counsellors/psychologists where relevant. Mainly because self soothing can be very important as a coping mechanism overall and getting support around this would be invaluable.  ... View more

Hi @Ellie67    I have to say this is a real conundrum because if you maintain your point (that your daughter takes it too far) she would see that as promoting rape culture and therefor a betrayal. I can appreciate your need to be protective that's understandable. It's going to be difficult to set boundaries as it's like a trap. If you say anything  then you're the enemy. It might be worth continuing a dialogue more generally about your daughters interest in this issue and have a curious but open chat about why it's important. Maybe re emphasising that you're coming from a place of care and concern rather than promotion of rape. Maybe others on the forum will have some insights too! Good luck! ... View more

Hi @Seahorse47, it sounds like you are in a pretty difficult situation with your son and aren’t sure how to approach the issue moving forward. It can be frustrating when we are faced with the balance between acknowledging and supporting our children versus encouraging and challenging them to tackle issues within their lives. Currently it sounds like your son is well supported with plans from school, and with a counsellor.   What steps have you taken at home to try and address his current difficulties? Has he been able to open up as to why he has been having difficulties with school? What does he occupy his time with when he is not engaged with school? ... View more

Hi Valek! ... Generally it is quite a difficult task to parent children who are clearly very unique and independent in their own way. We appreciate the time you've taken to reflect on how to manage it though. Most studies suggest that positive reinforcement (rewards for doing the right thing) are far more effective in managing behavior than negative reinforcement ( punishing for doing the wrong thing). Not to suggest that there should be no consequences here, but it might be worth thinking about how to encourage her to do the right thing as opposed to how to scare her from doing the wrong thing. (For example, If you agree not to tattoo yourself or others whilst under our roof, we will reward that behaviour by buying you some fake tattoo skin that you can practice on). In terms of teaching her about consequences: Oftentimes its helpful to ask the children themselves what they think is a fair punishment (Surprisingly, they often say things that are actually quite reasonable). One thing i might suggest is getting her to do some tasks like house work. This is because it doesn't socially isolate her (like grounding might). Ultimately its your decision in the end. I think regardless it should be clear to her that the reason she is being punished is because she didn't stick to her commitment, rather than for being interested in tattooing... I hope that helps and don't hesitate to reach out to discuss this more! all the best! ... View more

Hi @makeastand    This sounds like really tough situation for both you and your daughter and I am so sorry to hear about what vile things have been said to her. It must have been really intimidating for her to be in that room and is i frustrating feeling that the school is not taking things as seriously as they should.  I can imagine it would be making you feel powerless as it sounds like you have tried to advocate for her and it doesn't feel like she is being heard. You are limited in what you can do as a parent in this situation, beyond what you have already done. Don't underestimate how important it is that you are there for her emotionally and that you show her that you believe her despite what the school and the other girls are saying. It is so incredibly valuable having a mothers support through such a difficult time. We hope you receive some support on the forums here and we thank you for sharing this with us.      ... View more

@qwerty11 It sounds like your daughter is really desperate to be challenged in class, and so I am sure that being able to go to a university lecture would be a really excellent way to help stimulate, and interest her - whether it's offered as a bribe or not :)    It might be a good idea to ask your daughter (if it were a perfect world), what would need to change for her to want to go back to school. From what I've read, it sounds like she just wants the independence to be able to study content that actually interests her. While her school does sound as if they are being stubborn about your daughter's needs, it might be a good idea to organise a meeting with the school and discuss the potential of your daughter doing independent study at school. This could look like her being allowed to study whatever she likes within the subject upon completing her work in class, or even potentially being able to study in the library instead. I also saw that you are currently in Brisbane, and so I thought it might be good to suggest UQ's Enhanced Studies Program. From my understanding, it's a program for Year 12 students (who apply for the program in year 11) to study a university course while still in high school. This sort of program could be something that greater challenges her, as well as encouraging her to try and stay in the school system.    I hope this helps! Please keep us updated :) ... View more

Hi @Advice123    Thank you for reaching out on the forum.    Co-parenting through separation can be a really complicated process. It's nice of you to look into support services for your friend. Here are a few helpful services that your friend can contact for information and support.    MensLine Australia - 1300 78 99 78 Family Relationship Advice Line - 1800 050 321 Legal aid in your local area.  Hope that helps!             ... View more