Hello @Mommato3  thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you have been through so much and are in a really difficult position. Protecting your family and your career is understandably very important to you.  You sound like a strong, loving and committed parent, and it  must have taken so much strength to deal with the trauma in your past while looking after 3 children.  When something threatens to take these away that must be very confronting and scary to deal with. It sounds like you might benefit from talking to a health professional or a counsellor about your situation. I can see that you're not located in Australia, maybe it would be worth searching online to see if there is a similar service near you that may be able to provide you with more support. Have you and your partner ever had any couple’s counselling? It may also be helpful for the two of you to talk through your situation together with a third party.     ... View more

Hey  @Swolfy, this seems like a very challenging time for you and your husband. It sounds like you really care about her and want to be able to keep her safe. It must have been heartbreaking for you to realise that she wasn't being honest with you   From what you've mentioned it sounds like she has also been through a lot. You might find it useful to keep taking the time to talk with her about what's going on and focusing on all aspects of her life and not just the challenging bits. It might be worth seeing if she would be interested in speaking with a counsellor. I can see that you’re not located in Australia, having a look online at some services near you or a school counsellor if one is available might be useful.    I also think it would be helpful for you to call and speak with a counsellor to get some advice about how to best support her and keep her safe. From what I can see this may be a good place to start. We also have some more resources here on our Reachout Parents around risk taking and teenagers. Please feel free to let us know how you go.  ... View more

Hi @Blue_fire,   I can definitely understand why you would feel so worried about the situation and how your daughter's been, and I'm sorry to hear about your toe, as well! I hope that at least the break is recovering nicely.   I think in situations like this, part of what makes it so hard is like you said, a big part of it is a waiting game - waiting to speak to professionals, waiting to start treatment, but also waiting to see how your daughter is feeling and how she responds to everything because recovery is something that takes a lot of time as well.   It sounds like that you are doing all you can for your daughter at the moment, and that you are doing your best to be there for your other daughter as well.  ... View more

Hey @lovemykidsusa    Firstly, welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing what's going on for you - it's not an easy thing to do.    Also, you raise a great question/topic, and bring up many great points. Parenting can be a lot of work, and it's a huge responsibility, which can be hard to deal with. It's important that parents take care of themselves as well as their children.   I noticed that you're from the USA, and we are an Australian-based service, so I have limited knowledge about the services in your country. However, in Australia, we have a helpline called "Parentline," where parents can call for support around themselves and parenting. I'm wondering if there is something similar in your area. It might be worth googling "parent helpline" and seeing what comes up. It might also be worth seeing your doctor and getting a referral to a psychologist or mental health practitioner to assist with some of the anxiety and guilt you're experiencing.   How do these ideas sound? ... View more

Hello @itilasha , I am sorry to hear about what your daughter has been going through lately. It sounds like a very difficult situation for you to be in. It is great to hear how supportive you have been of her throughout this. I am sure that your daughter is feeling really grateful to have such caring and involved parents.    It sounds like welcoming a new puppy in to your family was a great idea! The love that your daughter and the puppy share together may help her when she is having trouble coping, which is lovely.   It is really important to stay positive in hard times like these, so I am glad to hear that you have been learning to think positive and stay away from negative thoughts. I am glad to hear that you can see the summit already. I believe that this situation was made possible because of how caring and supportive you are of your daughter! Don't forget to give yourselves credit where it is deserved.  Please feel free to keep us updated   ... View more

Hello @WhiteHeather , welcome to the Parents community! I think it's great you reached out to get some support for yourself and your two sons. It sounds like you have your hands full at times!   I am sorry to hear that you have been having issues with your oldest son taking out his problems on your younger son. That sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. Have you had a chance to discuss with your oldest son why he is doing these things? I'm sure you'll come across other parents here who are going through similar reservations about your kids during their teen and adulthood years.     It is a shame to hear that you are not sure how to reduce your stress. I would have to agree that reading a great book and taking the dog out for a walk can be really relaxing at times (also depends on your dog though  ). It can be easy to forget to look after ourselves when we are looking after others. This is when leaving time in the day/week for self-care is really important. I am not sure if you are already aware, but we offer a free one-on-one support service for parents. Al l of the support sessions are free, confidential and done with a professional . Here is a link to the website if you are interested. ... View more

Hello @jonasnoah , I am sorry to hear about your current situation. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. By the sounds of it, you are just trying to do what is best for your children, which is a really great thing. I am not aware of all of the options that you have to block websites, but I am aware that some phones, TV's and other devices have child-block options in their setting menus. This may help to block certain phrases or whole websites that may be considered child "unfriendly". I would recommend looking at the specific device's manual or even looking on the internet for some articles/videos that show how to activate the child block settings.   It might also be a good idea for you to get some further support from a professional around how to discuss this further with your partner and children. By having a search online you can find some parenting helplines that you may want to ring and get some advice from. We are an located in Australia and it looks like you are in another country, so our referrals and resources may not be appropriate. However, you are more than welcome to continue posting here as we have a wonderful community.   I have had a brief look on the internet for some parents helplines  and found a website that should be helpful for you. I even found an article called "generation porn" from that website that sounds really informative and helpful for you. I would recommend having a look and seeing if they can support you a bit more through your current situation. Please feel free to keep us updated.   ... View more

Hey @mamaromi    Welcome to ReachOut   I see what you mean. It's good that you've been able to notice their posture and that you have taken them to see a doctor. It sounds like you are a very caring parent!   You could be right...perhaps their posture is impacted by their sedentary lifestyle. Although, I'm not too sure. Our forum is meant for parents of teens with mental health concerns, not so much about physical health concerns such as one's posture.   It might be worth booking in your children to see a physiotherapist, chiropractor or osteotherapist.Your doctor might be able to tell you more about these types of professionals and even refer you to one in your area. ... View more

Hey @sMarta    Thanks for checking in with a @Kiwiinoz.   It sounds like you're doing a lot to support your friend and their child who are moving to overseas. I'm sure your friend appreciates it a lot.    Also, I removed one aspect of your post - the part with the link - because sharing links goes against our guidelines. Our community guidelines can be found here. ... View more

hey @SunnyAmy    Good question to raise. I think many parents will have differing opinions on this. I guess there are probably pros and cons to both situations, and I think many factors may impact the outcome (how often are they in daycare, at what age did they start daycare, whats their relationship like with their parents at home). I'd personally be reluctant to put my child into day-care at a young age, but I'd be open to things like kinder . As they get older I think the social aspect and the different activities like you mentioned could be of benefit to the child. I think there is no hard and fast rule for this kind of thing and that it would depend on the child, the family, and what works best for the parents.   I'm not sure if you're aware but R/O Parents is meant for Parents of teens (12-18 yrs old) so we probably have less information on your question. However, I can point you towards the Raising Childrens Network. They have some information re. child care which may be of use or interest to you. I have linked some articles for you here.   Also, just letting you know that I removed the link you shared because it goes against our community guidelines. ... View more

Hello @Alli1002, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story.  It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation right now. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to go to the doctors for some support and to not get the support you need. Have you had a chance to go back to the GP to let them know that the exercises did not work? They may be able to suggest that you try something else. Or you could also try to see a different GP to get their opinion on how you can help your daughter.  Has your daughter spoken to you about why she has been trouble falling asleep? Could it be that something is on her mind and she is not able to "switch off"? This could be an important factor in how you could treat her sleeping difficulties.   I am sorry to hear that this has been impacting on your marriage. It is really important that you are also looking after yourself in these times. Have you had a chance to talk to a counsellor or psychologist about your daughter's sleeping difficulties and how this is impacting you? Some free helplines that you can call are Parentline and KidsHelpline. We also of fer a free professional service that provides one on one support. You can read more about it  here.     Please feel welcome to keep us updated.  ... View more

Hi @Stressful2020    Just checking in to see how things are going for you and your daughter.   How have things been?     ... View more

Hi @mcinparis   Thanks for posting and sorry we've taken a while to get back to you.   Juggling a full time job and three kids does sound like a lot.  Managing a household is a full time job in itself.   I'm wondering - how old are your children? and does your husband help out much around the house and with looking after the kids?   If you're husband doesn't help out then it might be worth having a chat to him, and explaining to him that you need help. After-all, you are both working full-time, and it's unfair if you're the only one doing all the chores/baby-sitting.   I'm not sure what your relationship with your family is like, but it might be worth asking your parents or your parent-in-laws to baby sit the children once or twice a week. Or perhaps they can help out with other things like dropping off the kids to school, or picking them up, or cooking a meal for you. I understand however that this may not be an option for you.   Another idea might be asking your children to do certain chores on the weekend, to take some of the pressure off. This depends on how old they are though. If they are old enough, you could potentially get them to do some cleaning or cooking. It doesn't have to be a lot but even the smallest things can help a lot. You might look at putting the music on on a Saturday and getting some of the housework done together as a family. A good thing about doing this is that in addition to helping you, it actually teaches them how to be independent for the future. We have more about fostering independence in children in this article here.   I'm not sure if your work would allow it, but you may even want to ask them if you can work from home a few days a week. It can really help to do chores throughout the day while you're working, and you'll save travel time.   Ordering take-out might help too, so that there's less food preparation and clean up. However, I understand that not everyone can afford take-out on a regular basis. So in terms of food preparation, here are some tips that might help you save time.   We have an article here about balancing commitments which may useful for you to read.   How do these suggestions sound?   Can you see yourself using any?   If you feel like you'd like to explore some of your concerns a little bit more, you can always book in a free session with our one-on-one support service here.   ... View more

Hi @Linnn    Hm, tricky question. It depends I guess. How old is his bed? What does he find uncomfortable about it?   Also, just so you're aware, I moved your thread to the "everyday parenting" section, as it is better suited to this aspect of the forums. I hope you don't mind ... View more

Hey @sMarta and @Mummabear3    Just letting you both know that I have moved @sMarta's post from the "teenage daughters HELP" thread to here. Also I removed the "teenage daughters HELP" thread because it doubles up with this thread. That way we have all the conversation to this issue in the one place . I hope you don't mind @Mummabear3.   @Mummabear3 We're glad to hear that you signed up for some professional support. Most of our users who use this service find it really helpful, so hopefully you get something out of it .   How are things going with your daughter? ... View more

Hello @Maiseygirl, welcome to our forums! While looking after others, it can be easy to forget about our own needs. I am glad to hear that you have acknowledged how you are feeling and that you have reached out for support .   Do you mind telling us a bit more about what has been going on for you? I think that these times right now are very stressful and it can be very easy to feel overwhelmed right now with all these changes. Are there any activities that you normally do to help when you are feeling stressed?    If you are interested in trying out something new, we offer a free professional service that provides one on one support.You can read more about it here. Please feel welcome to keep us updated.  ... View more

@maisie_a1 you might want to consider a tele-health appointment. I think some specialists are conducting those instead of face to face appointments at the moment.   @Ced28 I had to edit out aspects of your post as it went against our guidelines. We don't allow people to promote their own or others' services on here. The forums are also an anonymous space so other account names, full names, or any attempts to meet (whether virtually or not) with another user is not allowed. You might want to read the guidelines and take this into consideration moving forward, Thank you.  ... View more

Hey @ceskia22    Thanks so much for sharing. It sounds like you are reading some books that are relatable for you. Sounds like you're learning from these books and applying what's learnt to your real-life situation, which sounds lovely and useful!   I'm currently reading The Time Traveler's Wife which was recommended to me by my partner (who loves time travel). ... View more

We're glad you found it helpful @PeteNorthside  ... View more

Hey @maisie_a1    Thanks so much for joining Reach Out and sharing what's going on for you.   I'm sorry to hear about his accidents . I'm wondering whether there's a medical explanation for this... you mentioned taking your son to the doctor so I'm guessing you've had that side of things checked out.    Might it be an idea to ask for a referral to a specialist? ... View more

Hi @Dexter1 and thanks for joining ReachOut and sharing what's going on for you.   Can you just clarify - does your husband think that you are nagging your son too much, or him?   In terms of getting your child to do something, sometimes it's best when you offer them a reward at the end of it. For example, if you want your son to make his bed and do his homework, an "incentive" to do it might help. So, you might say that he can do something he enjoys for X amount of hours if he completes his homework. Or you could give him $5, or points that go towards buying something he likes. Just keep in mind that this tactic usually works best when the reward is seen as worth the actual task. For example, if you ask your son to clean his bedroom, do his homework, apply for jobs, wash the dog etc. and only offer him a $1 reward, then he is unlikely to do it. So you need to find something that is "worth" it to him so to speak. Rewards also need to reflect what HE considers a reward, because your idea or an adults idea of a reward may be very different from his. It also usually works best if you actually follow through on your word (i.e., the reward/punishment). So, let's say you tell your son that he should clean his room otherwise he won't get his 2 hrs of play station time, and then he doesn't clean his room, you should stick to what you said, and not give him play station time. That way you're teaching him that you mean what you say.   What do you think about this idea? Have you ever tried something similar? ... View more

Hey @LaoHa   That sounds like a really difficult thing to be going through. It must be hard to think your son is falling into a deep depression, and to watch him argue/ignore his step-dad. That doesn't sound easy.   I must say that it is good that your son is receiving professional support. Hopefully the support of his counsellor and caseworker helps him.   In terms of whether to confront the current issue, I'm not sure because I don't know your family or your son well enough to confidently advise you in that area. From what you've described though, it doesn't seem like it would go well. Has the stepfather tried talking to him directly? Why do you think their relationship is so tense?   It might be helpful if you got professional support throughout this too, as it does seem quite stressful. Plus, they may be able to provide you with some useful ways in dealing with this situation. You may want to try our one-on-one support service for parents. You can book a free counselling session here. ... View more

Hi @RogueMom and thanks for sharing.   It sounds like you're feeling quite exhausted by your children constantly arguing. It also seems like you feel as though you're stuck in the middle, and you don't know what to do next or how to make it better. It definitely is not an easy situation to be in and I can understand how you're probably just craving some peace right now, especially during COVID-19.   It's tricky. I'm not sure whether you should encourage them to chat and make things better or stay out of it. It is hard to say. I'm wondering - are you seeking professional support at the moment? I know you're not directly involved in the arguments, but it would be hard to watch and professional support could be useful. Also, have you ever considered family/systemic therapy? It may be a good option for you/ the family. ... View more

Hi @AudreyRose-94    Thanks so much for joining ReachOut and sharing what's going on for you.   To be honest - it sounds like you are managing a lot, and I can completely understand how you feel in need of a break. Not only are you a single mum, you are also working full time, whereby you look after multiple children during the day, and after that you continue attending to your daughter. It's a lot -  looking after children is lot of work - you're right in saying that you never get to switch off. This is not to say that parenting isn't rewarding or worth it, in fact I think the opposite...but what I'm trying to say is that I don't blame you for feeling tired! And it's possible that your hate for being a parent at the moment is more a reflection of the exhaustion you're experiencing than anything else - after all, you do mention loving and missing your daughter when she went to your parents.   Do you think your parents would be open to looking after your 5 year old a little more? Maybe 1 night a week to take the pressure off?   Also, are you receiving any professional support at the moment? ... View more

Hey @Charlie72 and thanks so much for being so brave and sharing what's going on for you. First of all I'd like to say how beautiful it is to read how accepting you'd be of your daughter if she were to transition. It sounds like you really do care and want the best for your daughter, but that at the moment, you're feeling a little worried about potentially not knowing your daughter well enough. It certainly is confronting when we feel like we know someone but then they do something that surprises us, something that is completely out of character. It's definitely can be a shock.   I'm not sure what your daughter has said/done in the chat-room to make you feel so on edge, so all I can really say is to speak to your daughter when feeling calm, and avoid talking to her when you feel riled up. I think speaking to her in a calm, collected way about what you've found will have the best results.   I think it's good that you decided to let your daughter talk to you when she's ready. I guess she's probably feeling quite overwhelmed with trying to come to terms with her identity and sexuality at the ripe, young, vulnerable age of 13. So it's probably a good idea to give her some space and like you said, let her chat when she feels up to it. All you can do is continue to be the supportive, nonjudgmental mum that you have been, remind her that you love her no matter what, and hope that this pays off in the end.   Have you spoken to anyone else about how you're feeling or received any professional support? ... View more

Hey @nics69    Thanks so much for joining ReachOut and sharing what's going on for you.   You sound understandably devastated by what's going on.   If you don't mind me asking, what was your son like before you moved in with Rob?   Have you asked your son what it is that he dislikes about Rob?   I thought I'd tag some parents here to see if they have any info or advice to contribute:  @sidneysdad @JAKGR8  @jbrowne @Fleurry @Pammy62 @Orbit64 @compassion @Keddie @Zayray ... View more

Hey @DMQ71    Thanks for bringing up this topic. I'm sure this issue is one that resonates with many parents. In fact, I recall my dad hiding the internet cords from my brother and we when we were younger. So you are not alone!    I imagine it would be quite tricky in your scenario given that your (ex?) husband isn't on the same page as you re. internet usage, and seems to be agreeing with your 15 yr old.   I'm not too sure what 10gb per month looks like from the top of my head, but I don't think the 7-9pm rule is too strict. What do you generally encourage them to do between hours 4-7? Is there anything else that your 15 yr old really enjoys doing?   I thought I'd tag some parents to see if they have any input or advice for you. @sidneysdad @JAKGR8  @jbrowne @Fleurry @Pammy62 @Orbit64 @compassion @Keddie @Zayray     ... View more