Hi @MadisonMcKeown. Interesting question. I see why you're concerned. I think if I were 55, I would decide against having children for that reason. I'd be scared that I'd get sick and be unable to care for them adequately. However in saying that - everyone ages differently and are capable of different things at different ages. It'll be interesting to see what other parents think! ... View more

Hey @Mumof5boys   It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time with your son at the moment. It must be hard to see your son go through (what seems to be) a rollercoaster of emotions with this girl, especially at the vulnerable age of 14.   It’s difficult to know what the next “right” step to take might be.  If you’re in Australia it might be helpful to call a parenting helpline for advice. This website may help you find the right one for you.   Aside from Suicide Watch, has your son got any other supports?   I’m sure there are many other parents out there who can relate to your situation.  I’ve tagged them here for some more support: @JAKGR8  @sunflowermom @Faob_1    Sending you our love during this difficult time ... View more

Hi @WhaeaM Welcome! :)   It sounds like you have some really good strategies to look after yourself and your daughter. Not only is walking good for your physical and mental wellbeing it sounds like it's a really great way to connect with your daughter.   I really like your advice about not assuming your teenagers experience. Everyone is different and experiences things in different ways, respecting and acknowledging that is so important. ... View more

Hey @compassion    Thanks so much for sharing. I think it's really good how you've reflected on the underlying reasons for your kid's school refusal and got the help you needed. It sounds like the school were very helpful and on board with improving your kid's well-being.   We really appreciate the advice you have shared and we believe it will be useful to many other users here.    ... View more

Hi Mumto2,  Welcome to ReachOut Parents forum!  It is amazing you have showed your support and love during this overwhelming time- validating how he feels will be helpful. It would have taken a lot of courage for your son to talk to you and shows how much he trusts you. It is ok to share your feelings with your son. Perhaps this could open a conversation of what he needs from you. Do you think your son would be open to learning more about his sexuality and managing the heavy emotions that come up during this time? Our ReachOut youth forum has a lot of information and support services for your son to look.  Stay in touch!       ... View more

@Worrisome I'm really sorry to hear how stressful the past year and a bit has been for you. I wanted to check, did you have any supports at the moment, like a helpline or counsellor? Do you have any self care strategies when you are feeling stressed? ... View more

Hi @Worrisome I just wanted to check in with you about you last post. From what I understand you mentioned that your child has threatened suicide? Are both you and your daughter safe at the moment?   ... View more

Hi @Lekino, Welcome to ReachOut, and thank you for sharing what's going on for you and your daughter. It sounds like you and your partner are really struggling with your relationship with your child. A lot of the members on the forum have had similar experiences, and I am sure they'd be able to help, or give there perspective on the situation. Because this is such a stressful situation, I wanted to double check if you and your partner have any supports for yourselves?  For example, friends, family, a counsellor, or helpline (i.e.  Mensline )? I'd highly recommend giving Parents Line a call on 1300 30 1300. They specialise in giving phone support to parents who are having a tough time.  I'll also tag some other users of the parents forum who might be able to share their thoughts on the situation @Dad4good @sunflowermom @JAKGR8 @Worrisome ... View more

Hey @cchurting- we are based in Australia, so just as a heads up, most of our  resources will be aimed at parents with children living in Australia. You are welcome to use the forum as a place of support however!    From the sounds of it, you're having a bit of a rough patch with your daughter, and I can imagine that it would hurt a lot to here someone you love so much say something like that to you   Unfortunately, lots of teens are go through a bit of a bumpy time at around this age, and can often take it out on the people who are closest to them. It might help to have a sit down talk with your daughter and ask her why she feels that way, and how saying something like that really hurt your feelings.    In the meantime, are you getting sufficient support for yourself? It could help to call a parenting helpline local to you   I'll tag a couple of other parents who might have their own advice or experiences to share  @Hales123 @Faob_1 @lizard0812 ... View more

Hi @WorriedMum1, Welcome to the community, we are so glad that you've managed to find us here at ReachOut.  It sounds like your daughter is going through a really tough time at the moment, and you are doing a really great job to try and support her through this. It can be really difficult in these sort of situations, as it can be hard to know what to do. Maybe it could help to talk to your daughter's mental health professionals about the situation, particularly about how it's impacting her sleeping patterns, as well as the age gap between her and her boyfriend. By knowing this, maybe everyone can reevaluate the situation and what's the best next step forward.  Just as a heads up, ReachOut parents is primarily aimed at parents of children between the ages of 12-18 living in Australia. I've noticed that you've written that both you an your daughter are in the UK at the moment, so just be aware that a lot of our resources are focused on Australian users.    We are glad that you've come to the forums to ask for help! I'm just going to tag a couple of other parents, who might be able to give their own point of view or advice for the issue :)  @sunflowermom @ihavefailed @Bestapproach @Dad4good   ... View more

Hi @Nolan, and welcome to ReachOut Parents forum, we are glad you found us :)    It sounds like the situation could be a bit concerning, could you give us a little bit more info about what sort of bullying you nephew is going through? Also just a quick note, ReachOut is an Australian based platform so a lot of our resources and references are based in Australia.  ... View more

Hey @PotatoCake welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums,  I'm really sorry to hear that you have been struggling with the relationship your son is in, and it is totally normal to be concerned as a parent. It is good to hear that you and your son have a very trusting and supportive relationship, in which he feels comfortable telling you about the situation he is in.  It might be helpful to talk to your son about what he can do if his girlfriend puts him in a situation where he feels uncomfortable, particularly if that situation regards sex. ParentLine might be a useful resource to call,  as they are counsellors which specialise in providing support to parents about numerous issues, their number in WA is 1800 654 432. You could also encourage your son to talk to a school counsellor about the situation as well, or he can call kids helpline as a teenager, or young adult depending on his age.   - Andrea I'll also tag some other users of the forum so you can get some feedback from other parents :) -  @Dad4good @sunflowermom @Maria @hippychick ... View more

Hey @Maria, welcome to ReachOut :)    I can see from your post that you're pretty distressed about your daughter and her relationship with school, particularly regarding her anxiety and lack of attendance.  ReachOut have some articles on the topic, this article looks at a student's experience with managing her anxiety at high school, and another looks at understanding teenage anxiety for their parents'. Just wanted to let you know that the resources are Australian based but I hope they will still be useful.   Some other adults on the forum might have some more advice so I'll just tag them here :) @ FreakedOut @hippychick @Schooner @sunflowermom   - Andrea ... View more

Hi @Marty1,   It must be heartbreaking for you watching your son go through this. Does he have a school counsellor or a trusted teacher that he can talk to? It sounds like he is very comfortable opening up to you, which is great! The teenage years can be up and down as they try to build their identity and find their place in the world. Friendships can quickly come and go too, so a stable homelife/parent he can talk to is so important!   Do you also have some support around you and people you can talk to about this?   - Hayley R/O ... View more

Hi @CriersCottage,   It certainly sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment! I'm happy to hear your daughter is linked in with professional support, it can take time to see changes with this so I understand your frustration. It is a very hard time for her too with hormonal shifts, developing an identity as a young woman and trying to find her place in the world.   Does your son have any professional support? Is he working or studying?   And lastly but probably most importantly, do you have anyone you speak to about all this? Professionals, friends, family? It sounds like you really need some emotional support and also maybe some guidance. Have you ever spoken to ParentLine? Here is some information on them and their number depending on where you are in Australia.   Are you exercising much self care? It's important to make sure you get some time to yourself where possible - baths, walks, reading, meditations etc. are all really good. Keep us in the loop! You don't have to carry all of this alone.   - Hayley R/O ... View more

Hi @beepbeep thank you for sharing and reaching out to us. I'm sorry to hear that you've things haven't been going too well. It sounds like you are trying really hard to connect with her and offer her support. What's been working well between you and your daughter so far?   I'm also wondering how you are looking after yourself during this difficult time? It's important to practice some self-care to make sure that you're getting through this too. We are here to listen and support you. I'll tag some of our members for further support and advice @taokat @sunflowermom @hippychick @Caz01 ... View more

@Concerned2019 That's really sad to hear that you and your family are struggling to sleep as a result. It sounds like everyone is being impacted. Even though this girl seems to have a negative impact on your daughter, it's really good that she tells you what's happening and you're doing everything you can to be there for her and support her.    ... View more

Hi @Laura83   It seems like you and your son have both been through a lot and you are quite vigilant which is good and now he is more aware of his safety from that experience.    Thanks for your input.      ... View more

Hi @Concerned2019  Welcome to the forums.    I can see your concern and care for your daughter going through this peer pressure right now and it must've been so hard for you to find out she was self harming. It sounds like you're really supportive and loving and I'm sure she can see that and at that age sometimes that's all they need is to know that you're there for them no matter what. Have you thought about getting a counsellor to support your daughter as well?    I'm going to tag some parents on here so they can support you and provide some advice as well @Schooner   @compassion   @sunflowermom   @taokat   ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 I can hear that apart from the concern for your son you are really struggling yourself. Do you and you partner have some supports?  I would really recommend calling a helpline such as Mensline (1300 789 978) or Parentline for some emotional support. Mensline is a  free and confidential line, staffed by qualified counsellors   24/7 . They could be a great addition for support alongside our forum.    -Lina/RO   @Schooner    ... View more

Hi @StanMan it is very tricky being a parent especially when it comes to setting boundaries however it is important to implement some rules around screen time.  It can be helpful to reward good behaviour with screen time. It sounds like you are trying to find a balance and worry about being to strict on your children, it may be helpful to sit down with both your children and discuss some boundaries which are fair although still ensure there are restrictions in place. I wish you all the best with everything. ... View more

Hi @Bedtimetuff Welcome to the ReachOut Parent's forum!    Bedtime can be so frustrating for parents!  How long has your son being having problems with getting to bed? Has there been any changes recently to his routine or any thing you can think of that is making him not want to go to bed?    It may even be helpful to give Parentline a try on 1300 30 1300. Their website also has helpful support/information for children of any age, whereas ReachOut is aimed at teenagers.    Stay in touch. -Lina/RO ... View more

@Troubled75 Its great the he is going fishing with a friend. It sounds like there is something that he still enjoys and as you said, it can be very therapeutic. Hopefully he is able to reach out to this friend he goes fishing with as well, if not, that sense of connection can still be very meaningful! At 14 years old, big emotions must be terrifying for him especially not knowing what to do with those emotions. Have you considered family counselling for you and your son? Or even individual counselling for yourself? One-on-one counselling could help you to develop some strategies for ways around how you can support your son. ... View more

Hi @Ninni Balancing boundaries and freedom can be incredibly difficult. It sounds like you have been doing your best to be a good parent despite her pushing back against you. The fact that you have spoken to CPS and have sought counselling in regards to how to help her shows just how much you want to do the right thing for her. It must also be quite scary thinking about her moving out when you don't feel she is ready for it. It definitely sounds like supporting her has been taking a huge toll on your own mental health. It's important you are getting the right support for yourself, not only for your own well being but so you are in a better place to support her too. I'm wondering if you have tried parentline for some advice on what to do in this situation? Please do continue to seek support from the forum, perhaps other parents have had similar experiences here?  @taokat @sunflowermom @Orbit64   Savannah- RO   ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom   Happy to hear your daughter made it through her first day of school! How was that for you?   Life sometimes gets in the way of focusing on certain relationships, but being aware is the first step on putting focus and time back on that relationship.Glad to hear your practicing self care, what are some things you find helpful in taking care of yourself?  ... View more

Hi @Free2B   I first just wanted to welcome you to the forum. It sounds like there's a few stressful things going on. What were some of the specifics of what's happened there? As in, what led to the exclusion, who are we talking about and what is the risk about? I think you'll get some good advice and support here. I hope you can fill us in more. Keep us posted.    Kylie RO ... View more

Hi @Help_needed, I'm sorry to hear your daughter has been struggling with this at her school.   It's sounds like a tough situation that you are in as it seems you are wanting to be there to support your daughter and how she is feeling but struggling with how to balance addressing this with the school as you are unable to discuss the peer issues with the school.   There is an online resource called E safety which specifically works with young people who are experiencing issues with peers online. The E-Safety Commissioner is responsible for promoting online safety for all young people. This may be a resource to check out, the link to their website is: https://www.esafety.gov.au/   I hope this is helpful for you.  ... View more

Hi @Sallyanne   Firstly, welcome to the Parents Forum. It sounds like you're juggling quite a lot and have some real concerns. I gather you must be feeling like the weight of it all  is on your shoulers to deal with your son.   I would wonder if it would be worth have a bit more of a detailed discussion with your husband about these concerns. I realsie that you have outlined he has been fairly hands off and it might be hard to communicate. If possible, it would be ideal to attempt to get on the same page to at least have your concerns heard. From there, maybe a plan could grow. If you have more of an idea about what exactly you would like to see from him to help, then that could be a start. So what does discapline look like for example and how can you both agree on what that might be.    As for your son, it does sound concerning and a bit of a chat about values, career and consequnces of criminal behaviour would be worth having. This would be very tough because of the emotions involved. I know it's asking the impossible, but try and park the strong emotions you are naturally feeling. The goal at this stage if for him to keep an open line of communication with you. He is likely going to shut down and hide more from you if he feels like he's going to get in even more trouble. Listening doesn't have to mean you are agreeing with his choices. Maybe have a chat to him about why you felt so strong and get him to maybe empathise a bit with why it's only natural that you would be so upset. Then attempt to understand his logic.    Talking about rules, logic and consequential thinking is the goal BUT not until the relationship is repaired. Please know you have our support and no doubt others will share their thoughts and experiences so I'm really glad you were able to take the time to share with us. Don't forget about you in all of this and get some respite by talking to some trusted friends or simply taking some time out where you don't have to be thinking about all of this.    Good luck and keep us posted,   Kylie RO     ... View more