Hi @Island, welcome to Reach Out! It sounds like you are quite concerned about your son's drug use and its potential impacts on his life and education. It's understandable that you are concerned about this. It sounds like you've tried to approach the situation from a couple of different angles, but your son has continued to smoke weed. It can definitely be difficult to manage this type of behaviour in teens. I have attached a couple of links below, which you may find helpful. It may also be a good idea to take your son to his GP, who may be able to refer him to a counsellor or psychologist. Some of the other parents on the forum may also have some useful suggestions.   https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/drugs-and-teenagers   https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/things-to-try-drugs/how-to-talk-about-drugs-with-your-teenager ... View more

Hi @kiwimama Welcome to Reach Out Parents. Thanks for telling us what has been happening with your daughter. I'm sorry it has been such a struggle for you seeing your teen disconnect from things. It can be a pretty challenging time as an 18 year old, navigating change. It sounds like she finds comfort and security in her room and games. Are you able to spend any time in her room with her? Even just sharing space and seeing what she is interested in. I think it's important to validate how she is feeling. Does your daughter leave the house for anything, like shopping or coffee?   You can also tell her about the Reach Out forum for Youth or Kids helpline ( 1800 55 1800) if you think she may talk to a counsellor.       ... View more

Hi there,   I am so sorry to hear what you're going through.  I hope things are better since yesterday.  If you need counselling support please go to https://www.parentline.com.au/other-support-services.  They have phone numbers to speak to phone counsellors depending on which state you are located in.  Hope this helps.  ... View more

Hi @Andreae66, that sounds like a really tough situation. Thanks for sharing your experience and hopefully some other parents reply with some insight soon.   It sounds like your son is bright academically, has had some tough times and as well as having a difficult time relating with his peers. I am also hearing that you and he with the support of the language teacher are exploring opportunities for him to be more included, which is great and hopefully is fulfilling for him.   In terms of adolescence and puberty, it is a difficult and confusing time for most, and some or all of his current depressed presentation may be because of this. Puberty is also a time where we can learn emotional regulation and coping so some discomfort is normal. That said, it sounds like you are attentive to these changes and are monitoring this. I would encourage you to seek professional help with your son if needed. There is also Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) if he would to speak with someone.   Medication can be a difficult topic, getting some information and advice from your GP might be helpful in general and to assist discussing this with his Father.   It sounds like you are doing a lot to support him, including reaching out for support and advice. In order to support him, it's important to support yourself too. Could it be helpful to seek out a counsellor/psychologist for yourself? It could be great for encouraging him to see a professional again as well as helpful for you to manage.   The encouragement and support you're providing to your 13yo young man is great, and this is a time when his strengths and personality are emerging is a big way. He may become more social or he may discover that he is naturally more of an introvert. ... View more

Hey @timmins    Thanks for posting on the forums. It takes a lot of courage to share your story. I'm sure @Angelmum also found your response helpful. Sounds like you are having a tough time with your daughter. Sorry to hear! I'm glad to hear that you're seeking the right support though.    Also I edited some of your post because it mentioned a method of self-harm which is against our guidelines. I'm guessing you weren't aware of them. Have a read here when you can.    Hopefully things get better for you soon. We're glad to hear you've found ReachOut helpful.  ... View more

Hi @menova ,   That's a great question! I'm not sure of any specific courses but if she is at school it might be worth having a chat with her school about this? Your daughter can also get support through Kids Helpline or the Suicide Call Back Service in assisting her friends to get help and looking after herself while doing it. And ReachOut has some great articles she can access through the 'Helping Someone Else' page.    - Hayley R/O ... View more

Hey @RMBF79    Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing.    @PapaBill has provided you with a great response. I personally think it was absolutely generous of you to offer your home to this boy, given he's not your responsibility. I think this is especially the case if having him around is negatively impacting your own children. It is perfectly fine to enforce rules in your own home. Your partner should be appreciative of the fact that you welcomed his son into your home. He should be thanking you. I see no reason as to why it should draw a wedge between the two of you, and if it does, it's definitely not your fault. You mentioned your partner keeps sweeping his son's issues under the rug while he's living with you - which, to me, is incredibly unfair on you.    Sorry if my answer was a bit blunt - but that's my honest opinion. Don't blame yourself here. It sounds like you have gone over and above for your partner and his son. You've done nothing wrong from what you've told us. Just be strong and do what is right for you and your children.  ... View more

Hey @RichardB6    Welcome to ReachOut! We have some "introduce myself" questions on this thread if you'd like to answer them. I have copied and pasted them for your convenience:    1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? 2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? 3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? 4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? 5. Whats the best thing about weekends? ... View more

Hey @JAKGR8    Thanks so much for sharing this. It's lovely to think that all the sacrifices parents make count for something  ... View more

Hey @Lekino    Thanks for sharing. Reaching out can be really hard so you should be really proud of yourself for doing so. I'm sure there are many parents who can relate to your situation and benefit from this thread, so thank you for posting.    It sounds like you're having a really difficult time with your daughter which is sad to hear. Parents generally just want the best for their children and so being rejected by them can be enormously hard to deal with. It must be really hard to watch your daughter keep  disappearing with people who you do not even know let alone trust. I'm sorry you're going through this. After browsing the threads on this forum you may have realised that such a problem is quite common and that you are no alone. I have tagged some regular users as they may be able to provide you with some support and advice @PapaBill @JAKGR8 @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @mrskode @Dad4good @Calamity14 @Shortstuff2    It sounds like your daughter may be struggling with a few of her own issues. It's good that she is seeking help (a.k.a. seeing a mental health nurse) but it is unusual that the nurse may be trying to turn your daughter against you. Did you contact the MH nurse and ask her why she told Centrelink that your daughter shouldn't come home? I'd be curious to know her rationale for this decision. On the bright(er) side, it's good that your daughter has re-enrolled into year 10.    In my opinion, I think it might be a good idea for you to try and take a step back. I know that this is a lot easier said than done. You mentioned that you have tried to find out about her current boyfriend, have been in contact with his exes, have sent your daughter lots and lots of messages about how angry and hurt you are. All of this might be a little overwhelming for your daughter, be pushing her away, and doing more harm than good. You have told your daughter your thoughts, you have tried to push her in the right direction, you've tried to get her to come back home. Now, it might be time to take a deep breath and say to yourself "I've tried everything. Now I will just have to let things be." I'd imagine this would be really, really hard to do, because she is your child and you want the best for her and want to be looking over her shoulder. This is just my opinion though, you might benefit from some of the other parent's opinion's on this forum or from getting in contact with a child/adolescent psychologist near you who can provide you with strategies on how to deal with the situation.    It sounds like you've had a hard couple of years. Please know that there are some great services out there that can help you during this hard time. For example, you can contact Parentline, a free counselling service for parents, on 1300 30 1300. If ever in crisis please call the ambulance on 000 or  Lifeline on 13 11 14.   Wishing you all the best!    ... View more

Hey @Debsy7680    Just letting you know that I edited your post to remove your first and last name as it breached our guidelines (which can be read here) which ask all users to remain anonymous & not post any information that could lead others to identify you. I can see you're a new user which explains why you might not be aware of the guidelines, so feel free to have a read when you have some spare time.    You mentioned you wanted to see if any other parents have any advice for you, so I've tagged some of our lovely users for their awesome input and support! Hopefully they can help.    @JAKGR8 @PapaBill @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @mrskode @Buster01 @lost1971 @Dad4good @ConfusedMum  ... View more

Hi @Erininwoderland Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for starting a thread about underage drinking, a topic I'm sure many parents can relate to and will benefit from. I've tagged some of our parents on this forum for their awesome advice and contribution: @JAKGR8, @PapaBill, @sunflowermom, @Orbit64, @Nikkita, @TWatson. ... View more

@amy4070 What exactly happened? Do you know where she might be? ... View more

Hey @Lilly19    Thanks for sharing your story on the ReachOut Forums. I'm sure many other parents will find discussions like this helpful.     It seems like your going through a difficult time with your daughter. It sounds like she's really struggling with things at the moment. It's horrible to think she was bullied by a teacher. It also sounds like you're fairly worn out by it all, which is OK, you are allowed to feel that way. Constantly caring for or worrying about somebody else can be exhausting. So try to remember to take some time for yourself if possible.    I think it's really good that you are able to manage her on your own, without needing to take her to the ED. Your medical training would definitely come in handy in that regard, and I'm sure she appreciates having a parent like yourself caring for her. It sounds so lovely that you spend time with her and try to distract her.    I see you tried accessing MH support for your daughter. How'd you go with that? Is she seeing a mental health professional at the moment?    ... View more

Hi @E1987 and welcome to ReachOut Parents. It seems like you're going through a bit of a tricky situation with you son. It makes sense that you're concerned and not sure what you should do next. After-all, you're trying to approach the situation with your son in a way that is sensitive and doesn't make him feel ostracized or uncomfortable... and ensure that you're daughter is safe... and protect your son by not wanting to tell your husband...and probably trying to get your head around the whole situation. Can I ask why you don't want to tell your husband? It seems like a lot to be going through on your own. You mentioned your son keeps avoiding you. Do you think he may feel more comfortable having a "sex" conversation with his dad? It may be something to consider. I think it is important to chat with your son and set some boundaries. As you said in your post, it is okay for him to have a foot fetish (from what I know they are quite common) but not to be acting inappropriately with his mother and (potentially) his sister. It might be good to just sit him down and tell him this directly - that it's normal to have these feelings etc. during puberty and that having a foot fetish is somewhat common, but that it is not OK for him to act inappropriately with you, your daughter, or with anyone who has not given their consent for that matter. If you are concerned about him being embarrassed, maybe just reiterate that everything is OK and that you're his mum and there to help him, and that you're there to teach him right from wrong, and that you're not judging him and so on and so forth. I might add that that is just my opinion and you need to do what is suitable for you and your family. I have tagged other parents on this forum for their amazing advice and support here: @sunflowermom @compassion, @taokat, @Faob_1, @Schooner, @JAKGR8 I might also add that there are a number of services that may be able to help and guide you through this situation. I have provided you with a few options. - Parentline which is an free telephone counselling service. Check out this website here to see which number is suitable for you to call: https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you - Try searching child and adolescent psychologists in your area and perhaps book in with one as they may be able to provide you with more insight into your son's behavior. I hope this helps!! ... View more

Hi @MadisonMcKeown. Interesting question. I see why you're concerned. I think if I were 55, I would decide against having children for that reason. I'd be scared that I'd get sick and be unable to care for them adequately. However in saying that - everyone ages differently and are capable of different things at different ages. It'll be interesting to see what other parents think! ... View more

Hey @Mumof5boys   It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time with your son at the moment. It must be hard to see your son go through (what seems to be) a rollercoaster of emotions with this girl, especially at the vulnerable age of 14.   It’s difficult to know what the next “right” step to take might be.  If you’re in Australia it might be helpful to call a parenting helpline for advice. This website may help you find the right one for you.   Aside from Suicide Watch, has your son got any other supports?   I’m sure there are many other parents out there who can relate to your situation.  I’ve tagged them here for some more support: @JAKGR8  @sunflowermom @Faob_1    Sending you our love during this difficult time ... View more

Hi @WhaeaM Welcome! :)   It sounds like you have some really good strategies to look after yourself and your daughter. Not only is walking good for your physical and mental wellbeing it sounds like it's a really great way to connect with your daughter.   I really like your advice about not assuming your teenagers experience. Everyone is different and experiences things in different ways, respecting and acknowledging that is so important. ... View more

Hey @compassion    Thanks so much for sharing. I think it's really good how you've reflected on the underlying reasons for your kid's school refusal and got the help you needed. It sounds like the school were very helpful and on board with improving your kid's well-being.   We really appreciate the advice you have shared and we believe it will be useful to many other users here.    ... View more

Hi Mumto2,  Welcome to ReachOut Parents forum!  It is amazing you have showed your support and love during this overwhelming time- validating how he feels will be helpful. It would have taken a lot of courage for your son to talk to you and shows how much he trusts you. It is ok to share your feelings with your son. Perhaps this could open a conversation of what he needs from you. Do you think your son would be open to learning more about his sexuality and managing the heavy emotions that come up during this time? Our ReachOut youth forum has a lot of information and support services for your son to look.  Stay in touch!       ... View more

@Worrisome I'm really sorry to hear how stressful the past year and a bit has been for you. I wanted to check, did you have any supports at the moment, like a helpline or counsellor? Do you have any self care strategies when you are feeling stressed? ... View more

Hi @Worrisome I just wanted to check in with you about you last post. From what I understand you mentioned that your child has threatened suicide? Are both you and your daughter safe at the moment?   ... View more

Hi @Lekino, Welcome to ReachOut, and thank you for sharing what's going on for you and your daughter. It sounds like you and your partner are really struggling with your relationship with your child. A lot of the members on the forum have had similar experiences, and I am sure they'd be able to help, or give there perspective on the situation. Because this is such a stressful situation, I wanted to double check if you and your partner have any supports for yourselves?  For example, friends, family, a counsellor, or helpline (i.e.  Mensline )? I'd highly recommend giving Parents Line a call on 1300 30 1300. They specialise in giving phone support to parents who are having a tough time.  I'll also tag some other users of the parents forum who might be able to share their thoughts on the situation @Dad4good @sunflowermom @JAKGR8 @Worrisome ... View more

Hey @cchurting- we are based in Australia, so just as a heads up, most of our  resources will be aimed at parents with children living in Australia. You are welcome to use the forum as a place of support however!    From the sounds of it, you're having a bit of a rough patch with your daughter, and I can imagine that it would hurt a lot to here someone you love so much say something like that to you   Unfortunately, lots of teens are go through a bit of a bumpy time at around this age, and can often take it out on the people who are closest to them. It might help to have a sit down talk with your daughter and ask her why she feels that way, and how saying something like that really hurt your feelings.    In the meantime, are you getting sufficient support for yourself? It could help to call a parenting helpline local to you   I'll tag a couple of other parents who might have their own advice or experiences to share  @Hales123 @Faob_1 @lizard0812 ... View more

Hi @WorriedMum1, Welcome to the community, we are so glad that you've managed to find us here at ReachOut.  It sounds like your daughter is going through a really tough time at the moment, and you are doing a really great job to try and support her through this. It can be really difficult in these sort of situations, as it can be hard to know what to do. Maybe it could help to talk to your daughter's mental health professionals about the situation, particularly about how it's impacting her sleeping patterns, as well as the age gap between her and her boyfriend. By knowing this, maybe everyone can reevaluate the situation and what's the best next step forward.  Just as a heads up, ReachOut parents is primarily aimed at parents of children between the ages of 12-18 living in Australia. I've noticed that you've written that both you an your daughter are in the UK at the moment, so just be aware that a lot of our resources are focused on Australian users.    We are glad that you've come to the forums to ask for help! I'm just going to tag a couple of other parents, who might be able to give their own point of view or advice for the issue :)  @sunflowermom @ihavefailed @Bestapproach @Dad4good   ... View more

Hi @Nolan, and welcome to ReachOut Parents forum, we are glad you found us :)    It sounds like the situation could be a bit concerning, could you give us a little bit more info about what sort of bullying you nephew is going through? Also just a quick note, ReachOut is an Australian based platform so a lot of our resources and references are based in Australia.  ... View more

Hey @PotatoCake welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums,  I'm really sorry to hear that you have been struggling with the relationship your son is in, and it is totally normal to be concerned as a parent. It is good to hear that you and your son have a very trusting and supportive relationship, in which he feels comfortable telling you about the situation he is in.  It might be helpful to talk to your son about what he can do if his girlfriend puts him in a situation where he feels uncomfortable, particularly if that situation regards sex. ParentLine might be a useful resource to call,  as they are counsellors which specialise in providing support to parents about numerous issues, their number in WA is 1800 654 432. You could also encourage your son to talk to a school counsellor about the situation as well, or he can call kids helpline as a teenager, or young adult depending on his age.   - Andrea I'll also tag some other users of the forum so you can get some feedback from other parents :) -  @Dad4good @sunflowermom @Maria @hippychick ... View more

Hey @Maria, welcome to ReachOut :)    I can see from your post that you're pretty distressed about your daughter and her relationship with school, particularly regarding her anxiety and lack of attendance.  ReachOut have some articles on the topic, this article looks at a student's experience with managing her anxiety at high school, and another looks at understanding teenage anxiety for their parents'. Just wanted to let you know that the resources are Australian based but I hope they will still be useful.   Some other adults on the forum might have some more advice so I'll just tag them here :) @ FreakedOut @hippychick @Schooner @sunflowermom   - Andrea ... View more

Hi @Marty1,   It must be heartbreaking for you watching your son go through this. Does he have a school counsellor or a trusted teacher that he can talk to? It sounds like he is very comfortable opening up to you, which is great! The teenage years can be up and down as they try to build their identity and find their place in the world. Friendships can quickly come and go too, so a stable homelife/parent he can talk to is so important!   Do you also have some support around you and people you can talk to about this?   - Hayley R/O ... View more

Hi @CriersCottage,   It certainly sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment! I'm happy to hear your daughter is linked in with professional support, it can take time to see changes with this so I understand your frustration. It is a very hard time for her too with hormonal shifts, developing an identity as a young woman and trying to find her place in the world.   Does your son have any professional support? Is he working or studying?   And lastly but probably most importantly, do you have anyone you speak to about all this? Professionals, friends, family? It sounds like you really need some emotional support and also maybe some guidance. Have you ever spoken to ParentLine? Here is some information on them and their number depending on where you are in Australia.   Are you exercising much self care? It's important to make sure you get some time to yourself where possible - baths, walks, reading, meditations etc. are all really good. Keep us in the loop! You don't have to carry all of this alone.   - Hayley R/O ... View more