Hey @Goingthruit2    Just posting here to let you know that I moved your comment from the new member thread to here, so now you post has it's own thread, which should increase the amount of support you receive from other parents.  I titled it "teenage son misbehaving" as I felt that summed up your issue - I hope you don't mind.    It sounds like you are going through a really hard time with your son. Have you spoken to a psychologist about what you're going through? Are you receiving any support? Parentline  is a confidential telephone helpline that offers information and counselling about parenting issues. It  is a really good, free resource for parents. If you're interested in calling their number can be found here - just note that their number does vary per state so scroll down to the bottom of the page and make sure you're calling the right line    I have tagged some regular users here. They often provide super great advice for parents on this forum, which we appreciate heaps!  @PapaBill @Dad4good @JAKGR8 @Zarazara1 @taokat @Schooner @compassion @Faob_1  ... View more

Hi @Xculture and welcome to Reachout Parents Forum.    Thank you for sharing this concern with the forum, this  can be a really tricky thing to discuss with our children. It would be interesting to hear of other parents experiences with setting rules in regards to letting their teenagers stay at their girlfriend/ boyfriends house.    As a parent its natural to worry about our children and what they are doing in regards to sex and safety.  It might be a good idea to have a conversation with your daughter where you can both express your values on this topic so you can understand each others perspectives. It sounds like honesty is something your daughter values and it's great that she wants to keep her communication with you honest and open. Building on this trust with her could be an opportunity to potentially strengthen your relationship.    What do others think on the forum?         ... View more

Hey @DuckAquarium777    Thanks for sharing your story on ReachOut! You sound like a wonderful and caring mum! It must be hard to see a decrease in your daughter's confidence. I think it's great that you're doing your best to support her. In terms of how to get her to regain her confidence, that's a little hard to answer because I do not personally know your daughter. If you continue to see a decline in her confidence, it might be worth taking her to see a therapist? That way the therapist can understand what exactly is causing it, identify any negative self-talk that might be occurring, and then provide her with positive coping strategies.    In terms of yourself, it might be worth calling Parentline, which  is a confidential telephone helpline that offers information and counselling about parenting issues. Their number does vary depending on what state you're in so I have linked you this website here. If you scroll to the bottom you can see the different contact details per state.  I have also tagged some of our most regular users here in case they can offer help in any way. They generally offer great support to users on the forums   @PapaBill @Dad4good @JAKGR8 @sunflowermom @compassion @taokat          ... View more

Hi @Jonnie, That sounds like a very stressful and tough situation to cope with, especially not understanding why she is acting so differently compared to before.    Would she be open to talking to someone? A good place to start is to get some help to figure out what is going on for her. Perhaps a first step could be to visit your GP or encourage her to start seeing the school counsellor.   Another good option is Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800), if she is open to speaking to someone she could speak or chat online to a counsellor.    If she is unwilling to engage in these options, its important that you as her parents are getting support during this time. A good place to start could be Parentline, find out more about what Parentline can offer as well as how to contact them here.   I hope some of these options are helpful to you.   ... View more

It is good to hear that you have support and that the family is coming together to show their support to him. What do you think about your daughters and husband suggestion to seek some help for yourself?   It sounds like you have been through a lot but I can also hear how supportive, loving and caring you have been and sometimes that is the greatest gift a parent can give to their child, so being there even when not much is said can be a comfort.   It's good to hear that he is open to going back onto medication and hopefully the process goes smoothly.   What you are feeling is a normal reaction to the very difficult situation you have been through but if things feel like they are too much at the moment it might be a good idea to consider what you need (what kind of support etc.) to get through this very difficult time. ... View more

Hi @GabeIsFabulous    Thanks for joining ReachOut and for posting on the forums. I'm not sure if you're aware but the ReachOut Parent's Forum is a peer-support platform designed for parents to discuss any issues (usually emotional or mental health-related) they may be having with their adolescent children. Unfortunately we are unable to answer any specific questions about homeschooling. I assume that if you're home-schooling you should be following some sort of government-based curriculum? I'd like to redirect you to this website about home-schooling in Australia. It has some really good information and should hopefully help and provide you with the right contacts to answer your question.    All the best  ... View more

Hey @mrskode    Thanks for sharing with us here on ReachOut. It's great that you're reaching out during times of stress. It must be hard to watch your innocent 8 year old be treated negatively by her older sister. Can I ask - is this sort of behaviour typical of your 19 year old or is it uncharacteristic of her? If it is an ongoing issue it might be helpful to speak with a child/adolescent psychologist or counselor. Parentline can be a helpful starting point for such services. The number for Parentline may vary depending on what state you're in. This link provides the numbers per state if you are wanting to call.    I like your thought of only returning her presents to her if she apologises to, and does something nice for, her younger sister. Did you end up doing this? If so, how did it go?  ... View more

Hi @Chloe2007 ,   Thanks for sharing your concerns, I can hear you are very worried about your daughter. It is difficult to know what to do in these situations and there is a lot to consider - how old is your daughter? How old is her partner? Have you met her partner? Do you and your daughter have good communication? Can you work out a way forward where you compromise and both get a little of what you want? This might involve setting some boundaries, for example, around how much time your daughter spends with her partner vs how much time she spends studying.   Also, are you aware that ReachOut offers free parenting support? It may be helpful to speak with a professional about this and get some support to work out the best way forward. You can access parenting support here.   Keep us updated on how you go :) ... View more

Hey there @Redrobin, We cant see your post! Try to post it again so we can have a discussion :) ... View more

Hi there,   I am so sorry and disappointed to hear about the disclosure of your daughter's assault by another student.    Its good to hear she has been connected with the appropriate support and we encourage you to reach out for additional support if you and your daughter would feel that would be of benefit.    Thank you for sharing this @mamabear19 , I hope this can generate some discussion.      ... View more

Hi @SummerSunshine , Thank you for your post. Firstly I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I cannot begin to imagine the impact this would have had on you and your whole family and how this is still impacting your lives every day. Its heartwarming to hear that your older children are so loving and kind towards their sister. It sounds like your family is very close.     You mentioned that Astridlora will not go to the doctors and freezes up when people come over. It sounds like she feels scared or uncomfortable speaking to people she doesn't know well? This would make getting help for her difficult.  This sounds quite typical for children with autism, has anyone else on the forum had experience with helping their children with autism feel more comfortable with new people? Have you looked into finding her a therapist who specialises in helping children with autism? Her grieving process is likely to look different from that of other children. It might be difficult at the start to get her to open up to a therapist but hopefully if they have experience with children similar to your daughter the process will be easier than her speaking to her GP.  It sounds like its been a very difficult journey for you and your family, its a lot to cope with. Perhaps by getting Astridlora to see a therapist and working collaboratively with them to support your daughter you might feel more confident in what you can do for her? Or even if she refuses to go at first, perhaps you could see that person for some tips and to better understand how you can help her and then slowly ease her into seeing them too. Not only could it help with her grief and loss but it could help her develop skills for the future in becoming more independent and social. I'm also wondering if you are getting any support yourself? You sound like a very loving mother and sometimes when we are caring for others we forget ourselves.    I am interested to see if anyone else has had a children with autism and how they have helped them, or any advice or support people on the forum may have. ... View more

Hello April @SummerSunshine  and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are in the right place for talking about the problems you are facing in regards to your family. This is a community of parents sharing their stories and asking for help and support so please don't feel like you are burdening anyone :) Looking forward to seeing some good discussions!  ... View more

Hi there @hermum76, That truly would be heartbreaking seeing your youngest so upset by her older sisters coldness towards her. It would be only natural for her to be feeling like she is doing something wrong and doubting herself. Younger siblings tend to really look up to their older sibling. Building up your youngest to be resilient towards her sisters behavior is a really good idea. How have you been doing that? Even letting her know that she is not alone and that teenagers can be really mean sometimes could be helpful so she can learn not to take it personally. Do they share any similar interests? Perhaps you could see if your eldest could teach your youngest something or even take her out somewhere for the day? How do you think she would respond to that?    Have you asked your oldest daughter if she needs support? Perhaps her actions towards her sister are representative of a larger issue she has? Its common for teenagers to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression. She could be feeling a number of things that make it hard for her to connect and show love and care towards her little sister.  Often times siblings (especially sisters) become a lot closer as they get older.  Personally I am an older sister with a similar age gap and was never interested in my sister as a teenager. I also was not very nice to her. She is now my best friend and I haven't ever been this close to anyone before. We realized as we both got older how much we understood each other better than anyone else and shared something that no one else could just by having the same set of parents. I dont think I could have understood the value of that at the age of 17 or even 21!   This is a very interesting topic, it would be good to hear what other experiences parents have had with sibling rivalry. It was really sad to hear your story about your son and daughter @Bnwcbw00 . Have you spoken to your 18 year old about what her fears are and tried to explore them a bit more with her?   Thanks guys for the discussion! :)      ... View more

Hey there @heartache12  It sounds like things are really tricky with your daughter and it has been quite a full on journey with her! I have sent you a few emails as there was some miscommunication. Thanks for being so understanding. ... View more

Hi @Alaya , No worries at all about your response, I'm glad you are talking about this and asking for support. It really sounds like a lot that you are juggling. Giving her chores sounds like a really great thing for her, especially in helping her become more independent. I can imagine it would also give her a sense of responsibility and confidence in her ability to function independently. Challenging her to go to the check out by herself sounds like a really good idea. How does she usually cope with that? Does she find it gets easier the more she tries it? Exposure is so incredibly important!   It might be a good idea to speak directly to the therapist about how exactly they would suggest you make the home more 'uncomfortable' so you have a better idea of what that would look like. Your right, home should always be safe, but perhaps there are small ways you could create more challenges at home that could help her overall that the therapist was thinking of.    Bullying online and at school is difficult, it must be  painful for you seeing her go through that and knowing how much it impacts her. I'm sorry the teachers have not been helpful, have you taken it to the principal? It sounds quite severe. Sending unwanted explicit images online is actually illegal as its a form of sexual assault so I hope they take you seriously.    Getting out of the house with her sister and ordering a doughnut/ coffee are all little victories! It sounds like getting out the house is easier when shes distracted and focused on something shes really interested in?  Again, it sounds like you have really been trying hard to find a balance between challenging and supporting her and it sounds like you are a really loving parent. It would have been awful hearing that from the therapist about your parenting style, especially given the amount of effort, care and creativity you have put into her recovery.    ... View more

Hi @Island, welcome to Reach Out! It sounds like you are quite concerned about your son's drug use and its potential impacts on his life and education. It's understandable that you are concerned about this. It sounds like you've tried to approach the situation from a couple of different angles, but your son has continued to smoke weed. It can definitely be difficult to manage this type of behaviour in teens. I have attached a couple of links below, which you may find helpful. It may also be a good idea to take your son to his GP, who may be able to refer him to a counsellor or psychologist. Some of the other parents on the forum may also have some useful suggestions.   https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/drugs-and-teenagers   https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/things-to-try-drugs/how-to-talk-about-drugs-with-your-teenager ... View more

Hi @kiwimama Welcome to Reach Out Parents. Thanks for telling us what has been happening with your daughter. I'm sorry it has been such a struggle for you seeing your teen disconnect from things. It can be a pretty challenging time as an 18 year old, navigating change. It sounds like she finds comfort and security in her room and games. Are you able to spend any time in her room with her? Even just sharing space and seeing what she is interested in. I think it's important to validate how she is feeling. Does your daughter leave the house for anything, like shopping or coffee?   You can also tell her about the Reach Out forum for Youth or Kids helpline ( 1800 55 1800) if you think she may talk to a counsellor.       ... View more

Hi there,   I am so sorry to hear what you're going through.  I hope things are better since yesterday.  If you need counselling support please go to https://www.parentline.com.au/other-support-services.  They have phone numbers to speak to phone counsellors depending on which state you are located in.  Hope this helps.  ... View more

Hi @Andreae66, that sounds like a really tough situation. Thanks for sharing your experience and hopefully some other parents reply with some insight soon.   It sounds like your son is bright academically, has had some tough times and as well as having a difficult time relating with his peers. I am also hearing that you and he with the support of the language teacher are exploring opportunities for him to be more included, which is great and hopefully is fulfilling for him.   In terms of adolescence and puberty, it is a difficult and confusing time for most, and some or all of his current depressed presentation may be because of this. Puberty is also a time where we can learn emotional regulation and coping so some discomfort is normal. That said, it sounds like you are attentive to these changes and are monitoring this. I would encourage you to seek professional help with your son if needed. There is also Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) if he would to speak with someone.   Medication can be a difficult topic, getting some information and advice from your GP might be helpful in general and to assist discussing this with his Father.   It sounds like you are doing a lot to support him, including reaching out for support and advice. In order to support him, it's important to support yourself too. Could it be helpful to seek out a counsellor/psychologist for yourself? It could be great for encouraging him to see a professional again as well as helpful for you to manage.   The encouragement and support you're providing to your 13yo young man is great, and this is a time when his strengths and personality are emerging is a big way. He may become more social or he may discover that he is naturally more of an introvert. ... View more

Hey @timmins    Thanks for posting on the forums. It takes a lot of courage to share your story. I'm sure @Angelmum also found your response helpful. Sounds like you are having a tough time with your daughter. Sorry to hear! I'm glad to hear that you're seeking the right support though.    Also I edited some of your post because it mentioned a method of self-harm which is against our guidelines. I'm guessing you weren't aware of them. Have a read here when you can.    Hopefully things get better for you soon. We're glad to hear you've found ReachOut helpful.  ... View more

Hi @menova ,   That's a great question! I'm not sure of any specific courses but if she is at school it might be worth having a chat with her school about this? Your daughter can also get support through Kids Helpline or the Suicide Call Back Service in assisting her friends to get help and looking after herself while doing it. And ReachOut has some great articles she can access through the 'Helping Someone Else' page.    - Hayley R/O ... View more

Hey @RMBF79    Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing.    @PapaBill has provided you with a great response. I personally think it was absolutely generous of you to offer your home to this boy, given he's not your responsibility. I think this is especially the case if having him around is negatively impacting your own children. It is perfectly fine to enforce rules in your own home. Your partner should be appreciative of the fact that you welcomed his son into your home. He should be thanking you. I see no reason as to why it should draw a wedge between the two of you, and if it does, it's definitely not your fault. You mentioned your partner keeps sweeping his son's issues under the rug while he's living with you - which, to me, is incredibly unfair on you.    Sorry if my answer was a bit blunt - but that's my honest opinion. Don't blame yourself here. It sounds like you have gone over and above for your partner and his son. You've done nothing wrong from what you've told us. Just be strong and do what is right for you and your children.  ... View more

Hey @RichardB6    Welcome to ReachOut! We have some "introduce myself" questions on this thread if you'd like to answer them. I have copied and pasted them for your convenience:    1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? 2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? 3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? 4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? 5. Whats the best thing about weekends? ... View more

Hey @JAKGR8    Thanks so much for sharing this. It's lovely to think that all the sacrifices parents make count for something  ... View more

Hey @Lekino    Thanks for sharing. Reaching out can be really hard so you should be really proud of yourself for doing so. I'm sure there are many parents who can relate to your situation and benefit from this thread, so thank you for posting.    It sounds like you're having a really difficult time with your daughter which is sad to hear. Parents generally just want the best for their children and so being rejected by them can be enormously hard to deal with. It must be really hard to watch your daughter keep  disappearing with people who you do not even know let alone trust. I'm sorry you're going through this. After browsing the threads on this forum you may have realised that such a problem is quite common and that you are no alone. I have tagged some regular users as they may be able to provide you with some support and advice @PapaBill @JAKGR8 @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @mrskode @Dad4good @Calamity14 @Shortstuff2    It sounds like your daughter may be struggling with a few of her own issues. It's good that she is seeking help (a.k.a. seeing a mental health nurse) but it is unusual that the nurse may be trying to turn your daughter against you. Did you contact the MH nurse and ask her why she told Centrelink that your daughter shouldn't come home? I'd be curious to know her rationale for this decision. On the bright(er) side, it's good that your daughter has re-enrolled into year 10.    In my opinion, I think it might be a good idea for you to try and take a step back. I know that this is a lot easier said than done. You mentioned that you have tried to find out about her current boyfriend, have been in contact with his exes, have sent your daughter lots and lots of messages about how angry and hurt you are. All of this might be a little overwhelming for your daughter, be pushing her away, and doing more harm than good. You have told your daughter your thoughts, you have tried to push her in the right direction, you've tried to get her to come back home. Now, it might be time to take a deep breath and say to yourself "I've tried everything. Now I will just have to let things be." I'd imagine this would be really, really hard to do, because she is your child and you want the best for her and want to be looking over her shoulder. This is just my opinion though, you might benefit from some of the other parent's opinion's on this forum or from getting in contact with a child/adolescent psychologist near you who can provide you with strategies on how to deal with the situation.    It sounds like you've had a hard couple of years. Please know that there are some great services out there that can help you during this hard time. For example, you can contact Parentline, a free counselling service for parents, on 1300 30 1300. If ever in crisis please call the ambulance on 000 or  Lifeline on 13 11 14.   Wishing you all the best!    ... View more

Hey @Debsy7680    Just letting you know that I edited your post to remove your first and last name as it breached our guidelines (which can be read here) which ask all users to remain anonymous & not post any information that could lead others to identify you. I can see you're a new user which explains why you might not be aware of the guidelines, so feel free to have a read when you have some spare time.    You mentioned you wanted to see if any other parents have any advice for you, so I've tagged some of our lovely users for their awesome input and support! Hopefully they can help.    @JAKGR8 @PapaBill @sunflowermom @Orbit64 @mrskode @Buster01 @lost1971 @Dad4good @ConfusedMum  ... View more

Hi @Erininwoderland Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for starting a thread about underage drinking, a topic I'm sure many parents can relate to and will benefit from. I've tagged some of our parents on this forum for their awesome advice and contribution: @JAKGR8, @PapaBill, @sunflowermom, @Orbit64, @Nikkita, @TWatson. ... View more