Welcome to the forums @blueskies , it's great to read a bit more about you :) I love that your family use humour in high stress situations, I find that a bit of dark humour can be a lifesaver at times! It's great that you're able to talk to your husband about stressful situations. It's great to have you here on the Parents community, and I hope it can be a good outlet for you :)
I also just wanted to take the opportunity to welcome some of our newer community members @Birdwings , @Kitchen , @Brock , @Freestyler , @treadingwater , @Gwinny and @Marie_069 .IIt's lovely to have you all here.
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Hi @blueskies ,
My heart really went out for you reading that, and I think you've expressed what a lot of people feel when someone close to them is really unwell - it really can feel like a grieving process. It sounds like your daughter has had a really challenging couple of years, and it also sounds like you've done a great job in making sure that she is surrounded by the right professionals to support her. It must be heartbreaking as a parent to see your child struggling so much.
It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders, not only with supporting your daughter, but also running your own business in the midst of global pandemic and as you said, being the one that everyone dumps on. I know that I can really relate to going into 'robot mode' - I'm a parent myself and both of my kids have had some health challenges in the past and been through hospitalisations. I find that I can cope really well in a crisis and run on adrenalin for awhile, but once the really intense period has passed I will often crash a bit.
I know that a lot of parents do find it really helpful to have support from a counsellor or psychologist when their child is experiencing mental health difficulties- it can take time to find the right mental health professional for you, but it is so important to remember to look after yourself. It's great that you've started to walk weekly and take a bit of time out for yourself, having some space to recharge can be a real game changer. One option for getting help could be talking to your GP to get a mental health care plan, which will give you access to medicare rebates for sessions with a psychologist. ReachOut also offer a free one to one support service with up to four sessions with a professional who's experienced in supporting parents and carers, the service is available over the phone or online so could be a good option if you are short on time. You can find out more about that service here if you're interested.
Thanks so much for posting here, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job of supporting your child and your family, and you deserve help and support yourself. The community is here anytime you need to vent, you're not alone.
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Hi @treadingwater ,
Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter tried to take her life, that must have been so distressing to discover as parents - you say you read it, was that from something that she had written? It's really good to hear that you've been talking to a professional, has your daughter been talking to them, or getting some other professional help as well? It sounds like you've been doing all of the right things in reaching out for help, and it's great to hear that you were able to get some more support.
You say that she's been working part time for 18 months, is she still at school at the moment? Do you think she would be able to balance study with 2 jobs? We often hear from parents about the challenges in setting boundaries with their teens, especially as they move towards adulthood like your daughter is. When your daughter says that she wants more freedom, are there any issues in particular that are causing problems ? You say that you'd rather have her be out later than you'd like, than see her and be sick with worry the whole time and that is totally understandable- as a first step, do you think you could have a conversation with her around her reasons for wanting to leave home? We have some resources on our parents page that may be helpful about setting boundaries with teenagers that you can check out here
I'm also going to tag in a few other parents from the community who may be able to share their experiences - you're definitely not alone in these challenges. @Cocochque @Birdwings @compassion
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Hi @Marie_069 , it sounds like you have been an amazing support for your daughter, I can imagine that moving to a new country with two daughters as a single parent must have taken a huge amount of courage and strength.
I think it is completely understandable if you are feeling like you don't have any more to give some days - as parents, it can often be easy to feel like you have to keep on giving and giving, but you can't pour from an empty cup. I'm just wondering if you've ever had any support for yourself? I think that @Birdwings is absolutely spot on, it's so important to try and do something that's just for you, whether that is taking walks, doing yoga, having a bath alone, going to the beach - whatever it is that 'fills your cup'.
I'm also wondering if your daughter is working, or studying at the moment? It must be so difficult seeing her making the decision to sell x rated videos of herself.
Has she opened up any more about what she would like to do about her pregnancy?
You sound like such a loving and caring mum, and I think what @Birdwings said it perfectly: " One thing that really distinguishes us is that we're actively looking for constructive ways of improving what's going on in our families and we're not lying face down with our faces in the dirt saying the situation is hopeless. So, when you find yourself thinking that you're unable to make a difference to the situation, tell yourself that's a lie. It's not true. You are out seeking advise, support, information and skilling yourself up. You are being proactive".
Your daughter is very lucky to have you in her corner, and we are all here for you.
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Hi @Gwinny ,
Welcome to the parent's community - it sounds like such a difficult situation for you as parents, and it must be incredibly tough to see your son suffering. From the sounds of things, it sounds like it could be a really good idea for your son to have a thorough check up with a GP, to rule out any physical causes of his sleep problems and weight - has he always been underweight, or is this something that has happened more recently? I can hear that he's really resistant to seeing a health care professional, but do you think he would be open to getting a 'once over'?
You say that he's spending a lot of time in his room, I'm just wondering if your son is working or studying at the moment? Are there any other activities, like gaming, that he enjoys?
Another option if your son isn't keen on professional mental health assistance is some form of peer support - this can often help people feel much less isolated and alone, and sharing experiences can give people the courage to take the next step and seek professional help. ReachOut have youth forms for peer support that can be accessed here
There are also peer support phone lines where you can speak one to one with someone with lived experience of mental health issues in a safe and non-judgemental way, such as the BeingSupported service.
It can be really tough on families when a loved one isn't doing so well, and as a parent myself I can imagine it must be an incredibly helpless feeling - but you are right when you say that ultimately your son needs to take those steps. It can be really helpful for families to get support for themselves, do you and your husband have anyone who's helping to support you through this time? It's great to hear that it has lightened the load a bit for you opening up here - this is a really supportive community, and you don't have to go through this alone.
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Hi @Sunnyhill ,
I'm so sorry for the late reply to your post. If you're looking for a forum similar to this one to get support, the Sane Forums are for people over 18 as well as parents and carers, you can check them out here. Family Drug Support Australia also offer support for families and have online and phone support available.
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Hi @Anxietyprincess - I just wanted to let you know that our resident psychologist Linda has also answered your question - I hope you find this helpful. Thinking of you and your daughter.
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Hi @muhammadblibla ,
I think that @Birdwings has given you some lovely and thoughtful advice. Teaching kids how to navigate social media safely can be a bit of a minefield,and it's definitely something we hear a lot from parents. If you think she'd be open to it, we do have some resources on our ReachOut Youth page on social media that you could share with her here. It must have been pretty concerning to find out that she was posting photos of self harm on Instagram, can I ask if these were pictures of herself, or other photos? Are you concerned that she may be self-harming at the moment?
There are some apps and settings that you can use to help to limit what she can access on her phone - the eSafety Commissioner has links to some good tools that you can use here. Will she be paying for the data herself? It might also be a good idea to have a discussion with her about boundaries when she's using her phone and consequences if she doesn't follow those. Social media can be a really important way for teens to stay in contact with their friends, and I imagine if she's been in care for several months that might be especially important to her, so hopefully these tools can help her to stay safe.
If you think it would be helpful to have a chat to a professional about how to approach this we do also offer a free one to one parents support service for parents or carers of teens in Australia - you can access that here.
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Hi @Birdwings , thanks so much for sharing your experiences - it's great to hear that you can help your son to overcome his avoidance sometimes by helping him to take those first steps. It sounds like you're doing a great job at striking that tricky balance between helping him to develop the skills he needs to help himself, and giving him some scaffolding to get the ball rolling.
I absolutely hear you on this year being an incredibly challenging one for parents, I have two kids myself and I think in many ways it's been one of the toughest years as a parent of my life. It sounds like you have a lot of insight and empathy into how this year has affected your son as well as how it's affecting you - have you been able to do other things for self-care for yourself?
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Hi @cantakeitnomore ,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time with your son. I hear you saying that you feel trapped, and that must be a really scary and frustrating feeling.
Teenagers can definitely find it harder than adults to manage their anger, and sometimes anger can be an expression of something else, like frustration, or fear. When your son is calm, is he open to talking about what might be happening in his life? Can I ask, does he have contact with your older son?
We have a few resources on our parents page that might be helpful - there is a guide to helping to calm down your teenager when they are angry here, and more general information on teenagers and anger here.
It sounds like things are really hard at the moment, I'm wondering if your son would be open to chatting to a doctor or a counsellor about what is happening for him at the moment? It looks like you might be located in the USA, is that right? We're an Australian site so I'm not totally across the support services there, but I did come across the national parents helpline ,
which looks like it might be a good starting point if you're wanting to look for some support for yourself and your son. It's not uncommon to hear from parents who begin to lean on substance use when they're under a lot of pressure- do you feel like your substance use is starting to become a problem for you?
We are all here to listen, I can hear how much you love your son, and I hope that things start to improve for you and your family soon.
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Some parents may already be aware of a deeply distressing video that has been circulating on TikTok and other social media platforms, where a person took their life while streaming on social media. Unfortunately this content has has gone viral across several social media platforms, with some reports that it has also been embedded within other videos designed to appeal to children.
The eSafety Commissioner and National Suicide Prevention Adviser have issued some recommendations today to help parents to support their kids:
- They suggest that if kids aren’t aware of this issue, that parents should avoid drawing their attention to it unnecessarily , in case it makes kids go looking for the content out of curiosity. Some parents have made the decision to keep their kids offline for a few days.
- Keep an eye on anyone who may be more vulnerable and at risk, and check in with them about their interactions on and office
- Make sure that teens know that they can always come to you for help if they see graphic or distressing content online.
- Engage in your child’s online activities - ask what apps, sites and games they’re using, and make sure they are age-appropriate.
- Help kids to report and block any upsetting content they may see on social media sites or apps.
- If your teen does see this content, urge them to report it immediately on the social media platform, and it can also be reported to eSafety at www.esafety.gov.au/report/illegal-harmful-content
Having conversations with your child about suicid e can be really difficult, but we know that these conversations can be a really important way to increase help-seeking in young people and help them understand the world around them . These can be really difficult conversations to have - this is a great, practical resource on ReachOut Parents, designed to help parents to have those conversations.
eSafety Commissioner also recommend that anyone who is upset or overwhelmed by information being shared online try the following tips:
- Talk to someone about how you’re feeling
- Take a break, including physically stepping away for awhile, logging out of social media or engaging in a different activity
- Take contro l of the content you see by hiding certain posts on your feed or unfollowing content that may cause distress.
We also have a resource for young people who may be affected by disturbing social media content:
If you or your teens need support, help is available:
- Kids Helpline is a free 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 - 25: 1800 55 1800, online chat is also available from 8am - midnight
- Lifeline: 13 11 14 for crisis support and suicide prevention services. Online chat is available from 7pm - midnight.
- Suicide Call Back Service for ages 15 and over - 1300 659 467 or online chat is available 24/7
Incidents like this can also make parents examine their own views on social media and their kids- what age do you let your kids use social media from? Are you concerned about their safety online? We would love to hear your thoughts on this one.
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Hi @Maple00 ,
I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter, it sounds like it would have been really frightening for her, and I imagine as a parent it would have been really hard hearing about it so long after it happened. It sounds like you've done a really good job in helping your daughter to be alert and aware of her safety, which is really fantastic, and it's great that she was comfortable telling you what had happened.
I'm wondering if you have reported what happened to her school at all? Schools can be a really good resource to lean on, and can make students aware to be extra careful when walking home etc. Is your daughter able to walk home with friends at all? I have a child who's a similar age who has started walking to and from school this year, our rule is that she has to walk with friends, and we also got her a cheap prepaid mobile phone (one that calls and texts only) so that she can let us know when she's arrived at school safely, and call if there's any problems.
It looks like you might be located overseas- but hopefully this information will still be helpful - this is a list of recommendations from an Australian website that I thought were really straightforward and helpful for teaching younger kids about staying safe: (Source is here)
Young children may not recognise when adults pose a threat. Most predators are likely to seem friendly, or they may try to entice children with a treat or a sad story. But children can learn to recognise and trust their own feelings.
Protective behaviours encourage children to recognise unsafe situations and to take action through:
Recognising early warning signs, like butterflies in the stomach, sweaty hands, goose bumps or a racing heart.
Understanding when to take action. Children need to understand the difference between feeling scared and still having fun, like during a movie; feeling scared but still being in control, like at the dentist; and feeling scared and not being in control, like when they are lost or being harmed by someone. This is a personal emergency and the child needs to seek help.
Taking action. This might mean talking to an adult they can trust, going to a safe place, or even dialling triple zero (000).
Practical tips for parents to keep children safe
Always provide the supervision children need to remain safe.
Trust your instincts if behaviour from a friend or relative makes you or your child feel uncomfortable.
Believe your child if they tell you about something that made them feel uncomfortable.
Make sure your child understands what touching is OK (like from the doctor) and what is not OK (touches to the private parts that make them feel angry, upset or confused).
Explain that sometimes adults do things that are wrong and they should tell you if this happens.
Many abusers make children keep their abuse a secret. Help your children to learn the difference between safe and unsafe secrets. Teach them that secrets are only OK if they give someone a nice surprise.
Have a family password that your child can remember. If someone tells your child they have come to pick them up, the child can test them with the password.
Make sure your children know where to go for help.
This brochure from NAPCAN has more tips on keeping your children safe from sexual abuse.
Staying safe with strangers
Here are some tips you can give to young children to help them stay safe from strangers:
Strangers are people you don’t know. Most strangers are good people. But you don’t have to always trust or believe an adult.
If a stranger wants to talk to you, always check with your parents first.
Strangers may make up stories or offer treats to make you go with them. Never go with a stranger — no matter what they say. Never, ever get in a car with a stranger.
If you are on your own, always stay somewhere busy and well-lit where other people can see you.
Make sure your parents or carers always know where you are.
Sometimes you might need to talk to a stranger for help, for example if you are lost. Look for a mum with children or go into a shop, police station, service station, library or school.
If someone is following you or grabs you, scream for help as loud as you can. Shout ‘Go away, I don’t know you’ so other people will understand.
I hope those tips help a bit for you and your daughter- hopefully with a few strategies up her sleeve she will be able to feel a bit safer. If she is still experiencing high levels of anxiety that are interfering with her life, it could also be a good idea for her to have a chat to a counsellor, does her school have a school counsellor she could talk to?
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Hi @Birdwings ,
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with your son, it is so valuable to hear from other parents in similar situations. Learning techniques for emotional regulation and sensory regulation can be such an important skill for teenagers to add to their toolkits, and it's great to hear that you found seeing an OT to be so helpful.
Do you mind if I ask how old your son is?
I think the idea of finding an activity that you can bond over is a fantastic one - I cook with my kids a lot as well, and I often find that we're able to have better conversations while we're doing something else than we are when we sit down and talk face to face (the same thing goes for the car - I find we have a lot of great chats when we're driving somewhere).
What you've written about caring for yourself and finding ways to de-stress is also so important - it's so easy as parents to put ourselves last. What activities do you enjoy for self-care?
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Hi @delilah4321 ,
Maintaining trust with teenagers can be really hard - can I ask how old your daughter is?
One first step could be to have a conversation with her about why she has been lying to you - is it because she is worried that she won't be allowed to go to parties at all if you knew there was alcohol there, or is she wanting to hide what she has been doing? Is this the only area of life where you've found that she's been dishonest with you?
We have a great video on how to approach parties with your teenager that I've just linked to here - it's a really common thing for parents to be concerned about, so I'm just linking it to this post in case it's helpful for you.
Ask The Expert about parties and teenagers
I especially like the advice she shares about parents of teens having a chat together and all setting similar boundaries around parties and things like curfews, and if there's alcohol involved. The right boundaries will look slightly different for every family - as you say, you want to make sure your daughter is safe, but you also want to make sure that if anything bad did happen, that your daughter would be comfortable letting you know and asking for help. All kids need boundaries, but it can be really tricky to find the right balance!
I also thought this resource may be helpful - it's all about how to balance trust and freedom with your teenager.
Thanks so much for posting here - I'm also going to tag some of our parent community champions who may be able to share their own experience with teenagers and boundary setting @Faob_1 @sidneysdad @Dadof4kids @Coops
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Hi @SmileyGold ,
I'm so sorry for your loss, that must have been very tough after trying for so long. ReachOut is aimed at parents of teens aged 12-18 years old so we may not be the best place to get an answer for your question I'm sorry. Raising Children's Network have this resource about miscarriage here, they recommend having a chat to your doctor about when it's safe to try again.
The pregnancy, birth and baby hotline are another resource that might be helpful - they are free to call, you can find out about them here.
Wishing you all best,
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Hi @Bnee28 , I just wanted to let you know that our wonderful Child and Family Professional, Linda, has also answered your question here. I hope you and your daughter are doing well, and I hope that you find these insights helpful!
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Hi @DB602 ,
That sounds like such a tough situation for you and your family, especially with the current covid-19 restrictions making it much more difficult to easily visit each other.
I'm just wondering how old your daughter is? You mention that you're worried that she will push and hurt her grandfather, has she ever been physically violent before? How are your parents feeling about all of this?
Family conflict can be really common with teenagers, and it sounds like your daughter has had a lot of change in her life over the last year, you've mentioned that she has talked about feeling unwanted and unloved - do you think she may be lashing out partly because of these feelings?
It sounds like it could be really helpful for everyone to be in the same place and have a discussion about boundaries and behaviour at home - are you in a position to be able to visit your daughter for a weekend at the moment? We also have some great resources on helping teens to deal with famliy conflict, that you can check out here.
I can hear how much you love your daughter, and I imagine that this must have been a really difficult year for you. If you think having a chat to a third party would help, we do offer a free one to one parent support service where you can talk to an experienced child and family professional- you can access that here.
Please keep us posted on how you're going - thinking of you and your family
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Hi @stellabentley , thanks so much for sharing a bit about what's happening for you and your family. it must be heartbreaking to feel so distant from your son at the moment. Is your younger son still in contact with his older brother? I'm just wondering if you may be able to reach out to him through his brother, or at least find out a bit more about how he is doing at the moment. As a parent myself, I can't imagine how painful it must be having no contact with your son, and I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. It's great that you're getting some professional help to give you some more support.
As your friends have said, hopefully your son does find his way back to you. We are here anytime you need to vent.
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Hi @Perspect , thanks for posting, and hopefully @gameofthrones may come back and update you on how things are going for their daughter and family.
Supporting a teen through a breakup can be incredibly challenging, is this something that's happened recently for your daughter?
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Hi @Kevmac ,
I'm so sorry for the late reply to this - I just wanted to check in and see how you and your son are doing at the moment? How old is your son? It can be so hard for parents to see their kids going through a rough time. Thanks for sharing here, it helps so much for other parents to know that they're not alone.
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Hi @Mitchell54 ,
It can be so tough as a parent watching your child struggling like that, especially when it feels like they've changed from the child that you thought that you knew. Has your daughter been able to open up to you about anything that may have happened in her life that's contributing to how she's feeling at all?
It's great to hear that she's seeing a counsellor - how long has she been seeing them for? It can take time to build a good relationship with a health care professional, and sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right fit. If you think she'd be interested, organisations like Kids Helpline and
also provide free phone and online counselling.
I'm also wondering if you've had any support for yourself and your family? It sounds like it's been a really stressful time for you and it can help a lot for parents to get their own support when they're helping to support their teens through mental health issues. We do offer a free one to one parents support service here if you'd be interested.
Does your daughter have any plans for what she'd like to do next year when she's finished school? It's been an especially rough year for a lot of teenagers.
Keep us posted on how she, and you, are getting on - we are always here to talk.
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Hi @14yroldsMomlost ,
Welcome to our Parents forums, and thanks so much for posting here - I can hear how deeply your care for your daughter. It must be heartbreaking to see your daughter struggling to find friends to connect to. It looks like you're posting from the USA, is that right? We are an Australian service, so I don't have a lot of specific knowledge of what services that may be available where you are. I did have a few ideas that might help though:
* Meetup.com groups: a lot of areas have pretty active MeetUp groups, which you can search by area/ interest
* Volunteering can be a great way to meet people, especially if it ties in with her interests/ passions
* Organisations like Girl Guides/ Scouts
* Online gaming can be a great way for some teens to get social interaction, especially if they have problems with verbal communication.
* Joining a sports club
We also have some resources here for parents who are wanting to help their teenagers to make friends.
Does your daughter have any interests or hobbies that she enjoys?
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Hi @EmbarrassingQ ,
How old is your daughter? I have definitely heard that some girls do have a lot of sensitivity when their breasts are starting to develop. It's great that you took her to be properly fitted !
My daughter and her friends are at the age where they are just starting to need bras and some have found it uncomfortable - some find tightly fitting crop tops more comfortable than training bras, especially if they're having nipple sensitivity. I'm also wondering if it could be the material that the bra is made out of - have you tried softer materials, like cotton? Has your daughter been able to describe what it is that she finds so uncomfortable?
Another thought is for her to only wear a bra when she feels she really needs to (e.g. when playing sport) and then taking it off at home.
Helping our kids navigate puberty and all of the changes that come with it can definitely be challenging - good on you for being so supportive of your daughter, and please keep us updated on how you're going :)
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Hi @Sand1012 ,
School refusal can be a really hard thing for parents to deal with, and it's something we hear about quite a lot - sorry to hear that you're going through this with your son. Is he also wandering out at night like the original poster's son was? How old is your son?
We have a good resource on how to deal with school refusal here , and you're exactly right, it often stems from anxiety. Is this something that's got worse recently for your son, or is it something he's been dealing with for awhile? It has been a very strange and turbulent year for most of us, and for kids who are already dealing with anxiety it has been an even tougher one. The right support can help a lot with school refusal - is your son getting any support to help deal with his anxiety at the moment? Your school counsellor, local headspace centre or GP can be a great place to start if he's open to talking to someone about what's going on for him.
If you think it would be helpful to have some one to one support, we do offer a free one to one parents support service that you can check out here - it provides free, professional support for parents, and can help you to come up with some more ideas on how to help your son, as well as give a bit of extra support to you. Dealing with school refusal can be incredibly stressful for parents too - how are you coping with it all?
Thanks so much for posting here, it's clear how much you love your son - the community here is always here to listen if you need a space to vent.
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Hi @Frella123 ,
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is going through such a tough time at the moment, it must be incredibly challenging as parents to see your child struggling. It's fantastic to hear that you already have some supportive health professionals helping you, that can be a massive part of the puzzle.
You are definitely not alone in supporting your child who's self harming - I thought it might be helpful for you to have a read through this thread, where a lot of different parents share what worked for them and their teens.
Every teen and their family is different, but some common threads there seemed to be staying as calm as possible, focusing on what is underlying the urge to self harm, and looking at distraction or diversion techniques. Some people find flicking a rubber band on their skin or holding an ice cube until it causes pain to be an effective way to redirect that urge to self harm. I've also heard really good things about the Calm Harm
app, which helps users to surf the 'wave' of those self harm urges, as they are usually only really intense for 15 minutes or so.
We also have some really good resources on teens and self harm here .
This includes information on why some kids self harm, and some practical strategies to help them.
As you've said, a lot of the time teens self harm to get a sense of release/ help them to cope with negative emotions, and it can be a really tough cycle to break, but it absolutely something that people can overcome with time and the right supports.
It must have been really frightening to see your daughter mixing a large amount of alcohol with Phenergan last night, did she need any medical attention at all? Was she intending to harm herself when she did this, or was it more wanting to sleep? From a safety perspective, it could be a good idea to check her room for anything that could be dangerous.
I'm also wondering if you and your husband are getting any professional support at the moment? It sounds like things have been a bit of a rollercoaster and it sounds like you are both doing a wonderful job supporting your daughter - often as parents we put our own needs last, but we do hear from a lot of parents that having extra supports to help them cope is incredibly important. We do offer a free one to one parents coaching service that you can check out here, if you think some extra support would be helpful.
You sound like such a strong and loving parent, and we are always here if you need someone to listen.
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I love that @Bnee28 , it can be so easy to take those things for granted sometimes, but they really are some of the most important things in life. How old are your kids @Bnee28 ?
Today I'm grateful for being able to hug my kids every morning - even if the 3 year old has kicked me awake at 5am
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Hi @MommaFish3 ,
My heart really goes out to you reading this, you sound like such a compassionate person and you're clearly trying to do your best in what sounds like a really challenging situation. I'm sure that knowing he has other adults in his life that care for him is really important for your daughter's boyfriend.
I'm wondering if your daughter's boyfriend has had any support for his anxiety and depression at all? It looks like you're in the USA, is that right? Unfortunately we're an Australian service so I'm not very familiar with support services over there, but the suicide prevention lifeline is a national service that offers crisis phone counselling and webchat.
If he is having thoughts of suicide they can be a really good resource, and also may be able to give him other suggestions to find support locally.
Do you know why your sons aren't keen to have him come and stay with you? Do you think that they would be open to having a family meeting where you can chat through everyone's concerns? It sounds like an incredibly difficult decision for you, but it also does sounds like your daughter's boyfriend needs people in his corner like you and your husband. Thinking of you, please keep us posted on how you're getting on.
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