16 year old girl cant manage friendships

[kakariki]

Hi, ever since primary my daughter has struggled with friendships. She has always been surrounded by girls/boys but they always turn nasty and is pushed out of a group. She is a confident, intelligent mature girl but does suffer from anxiety mainly due to the struggles with these groups. I dont see her as a nasty girl, she does tend to be quite honest and speaks her mind but things are so bad in high school now. They are openly saying to her on group chats that they dont like her, she is an embarrassment because she invites herself places when no one wants her there etc etc. She is a school leader and teachers love her. She has a boyfriend also. My problem is she is just so deserpate to belong. Even when they are nasty to her she still goes back for more. I am so worried about her as I know it is destroying her and she keeps asking why doesnt she have any friends. We moved here about 7 years ago so I dont think that process has helped as we are in a small town which is very clicky.  

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @kakariki,

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with bullying - it sounds like a really challenging time for you both. I think it's really powerful that you've realized your daughter has the strength to stand up for herself and to speak her mind. What age is your daughter and what grade is she in? This experience must be so upsetting and confusing for your daughter who is only trying to find her way in the world. Would you be open to talking to a trusted teacher or the other parents about what has been going on? Do you think this would be helpful? Quite possibly the other parents have no idea this bullying is going on from their own children. You could also talk to a counselor (or the school counselor) if you are feeling quite stuck or worried about your daughter. You also mentioned your daughter struggles with anxiety. Is there a GP or counselor that she sees regularly?

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