18 yr old son and attitude/behaviour

[Lizzielou]

My now 18yr old son, has been brought up in a stable home had everything he needed, to the extent he was spoilt, however he's always been a bit of a loner, would never bring friends home right through comp school, even tho we tried to encourage it he isolated himself in his bedroom, became disrespectful to both of us, if we tried to talk ask him about his day the response was always shush, be quiet go away etc.
He finally left in Aug for uni, got a nice apartment as he didn't want to go into halls, he doesn't return texts or take our phone calls he's blanked us out of his life, he had a fall out with two friends threatened self harm as he rang us sobbing he's made a big mess of things, he can't handle conflict very well and tried to basically blackmail his palms into saying everything was ok. We live 5hrs away so for his own safety I called ambulance and he was took to a&e checked over and by the time we got there he'd been discharged. This is the first time anything of this nature has occurred.
When he came out of the hospital he was still hostile towards me, wouldn't talk about what had occurred, refused to come home and as I was told by the hospital that now he's 18 my parental rights don't count. I got him in touch with a GP who gives weekly phone calls and a counsellor who also speaks several times a week on the phone to him.
He is still not communicating with me, and this week has blanked his counsellor.
So I am travelling to see him as a surprise visit to see what he's like
Is this normal behaviour of an 18yr old.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Lizzielou, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that your family is going through a difficult time. It must have been incredibly hard for you to hear your son talking about self-harm. It was great that he had a check in from the ambulance and now has a GP and counsellor to chat to. It can be hard to get teenagers to open with you and you are definitely not the only parent who experiences this. Generally, it helps to know that even if your teenager can't chat with you that they at least have other services they can chat to. It can also help to just let your son know that you are there if he ever needs to chat. I was wondering if you have thought of seeking support for yourself? What you are going through is really tough and a therapist may be able to help you process and navigate this situation. 

We also have some articles here on self-harm that may be helpful for you and your son.  Just keep in mind that we are an Australian service and therefore some of our referrals or advice may be Australian specific. You are still most welcome to be apart of our community