!4 year old boy disengaged

[joanne123]

14 year old boy 

Disengaged at school  says all subjects are stupid and the teachers are stupid

Flying under radar and doing bear minimum

Not doing homework

Put foot through wall when told he couldn't go out over the weekend 

Swears all the time at home and is aggressive

Any ideas on what to do 

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @joanne123, thank you for sharing.  I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I imagine that must be really tough for your family. There can be a lot of underlying causes to problematic behaviour. School can also be really tough at that age too. I am wondering if you have had a chat to the school about what is going on?

I also noticed that you posted somewhere else, asking about where you can get counselling from. Counselling may also be a suitable and beneficial option for your situation. The best place to start is usually the GP as they can create a referral to a psychologist. However, your son's school may also have a counselor available. You can also contact a psychologist yourself but these sessions are likely to be full fee. Also, in case you are interested, we also have a one-on-one Parent Coaching program. You can read more about it here. Please keep us updated on how you are going 

[AmberP]

Hello, Joanne! I feel you. And I remember myself in my 14 y.o., it was such a hell for my parents. It is good that you are asking for advice, as many people try to simply ignore it. You should talk to the child, but if he does not make contact, try to find out something at school. They are watched, they can give behavioral evaluations. Maybe he does not feel needed or loved enough, or he needs attention or really thinks the way you wrote. Then there is nothing to be done; it is his choice. Be open and try to avoid shouting, you will only give him an understanding that he is right and you are not.