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Advice needed

My daughter is a singer songwriter and she was invited by a singer who she wrote songs with to be part of the open act for an event in Brisbane. This person was really close with her at one stage but ignores her mostly now and only chooses to speak to her when it suits him. He hasn't given her any details, the concert is this weekend and shes paid for flights already. My worry is that she will get there and be stranded. I feel she should cut her losses and not go but she wants to go so as to make new connections. This may seem trivial to some but i really need advice. She sang with this same person a couple of nights ago and he was being really friendly and called her one of his best friends while on stage but then ignored her after the performance until he needed a lift home for himself and his friend. Please advise me, im a single mum and have no one to talk to about this
Parent Community Champion

Re: Help please

Hey @Parenting1 ,

 

Thanks for sharing, no issues are trivial!

 

So, yah, he seems to be the type of person who engages only if he gets something out of it, hence, probably not all that useful for your daughters career.

 

I'm thinking support her to go to the event. I think its great that she is thinking "I could still make other connections", she is demonstrating great initiative!

 

Are there things she could do to prepare (i.e., alternative plans) in the event that he is messing her around and she hasn't got a spot to perform?

 

What's your biggest worry? Is it around physical safety (i.e., she is alone and may lack the skills to be able to get around) or emotional safety (i.e., the "rejection" could hurt her self-esteem)?

Scribe

Re: Advice needed

Hi there,

 

My advice would be to let her go and let her know you're there for her if anything goes wrong.

 

What is the worst thing that could happen? She gets there and she's stranded. Let her know that if she needs help she can easily ring you. I'm sure she will be able to find a solution.

 

Our kids will experience heart ache and heart break just as we did when we were that age. It is a normal course in life for us all to walk. Let her make these decisions and support her journey. Our kids will always find a way.

Active scribe

Re: Advice needed

Thank you, this is what ive decided to do. Shes going.

Theres also been an update after the decision was made. The performer who's concert it is actually found out that my daughter had decided by herself not to go and she reached out to her. She has made arrangements for accommodation and travelling to and from venue and aorport. It all worked out in the end.

Thank you to all who responded and for your reply and advice
Active scribe

Re: Help please

Thank you @Dad4good ive tried replying much earlier to your message but it wouldn't go through. Theres been an update after deciding that she will still go.

The update is that the singer whose concert/ performance it is found out that my daughter had decided by herself not to go and she reached out to her and has organised accommodation and travel to and from venue and airport. So everything has worked out.

Thank you so much, really appreciate the reply and I'm so relieved theres this forum to talk about things and ask for advice.
Mod

Re: Advice needed

Hi @Parenting1, thanks for sharing all of this. When you say it all worked out in the end, does that mean that the concert has been and gone? Or are you just feeling a sense of relief now that arrangements for accommodation and travel have been made? Just so we can try to understand more, how did your daughter feel about the whole situation? You mentioned that she wanted to make new connections but was she weary of going in light of the circumstances? Once again, thanks for sharing this with us all Heart
Active scribe

Re: Advice needed

Hi @Taylor-RO,
The concert is tomorrow night shes still going, she leaves tomorrow morning. I feel relieved that she wont be stranded, someone has got her back and her flight tickets she already booked can still be used. My daughter is a strong person shes been through so many emotional roller coasters but she always has the courage to get back up. This one got me worried because she was going to be in a place where she had no details provided to her by the person who was meant to be one of her close knit friends.

She decided at first not to go because yes she was wary, then we spoke about it some more. She then decided she wont let that guy stop her from this experience and she will still go. We were to look into accommodation but then the main performer reached out to her.
It hurt her a lot that this so called close friend would treat her this way, she cried quite a bit. She has also decided to break away from him as she said that friends dont treat friends this way and I agree with her. She hasn't had a chance to talk things out with him as he has started to either ignore her or just makes excuses not to talk so shes given up on trying.