So I've had a good read and I gather that the school wasn't able to give reasons for your daughter not wanting to go to school. Seeing your daughter is only 13 it might be worth researching your rights as parents, to find out whether the school is obliged legally or ethically to pass on any relevant information to you from the school counsellor. If they have been given reasons by your daughter as to why she doesn't want to attend school, it would be helpful for you to know so you can help her.
I understand you've met with the school counsellor and other staff from the school who have spoken with your daughter. I would suggest setting up a meeting with the Principal or Deputy Principal, Year Advisor, Welfare Officer, school counsellor and your daughter's current psychologist if she has one. It'd be great to meet with all these people at the same time to discuss your daughter's school refusal and what the school can do from their end. I found it useful to have everyone on the same page, so we could all work as one.
I'm going to throw in something from left field, but please forgive me if this has been looked at before. I'm very conscious that you've been going through this for a very long time, and have no doubt looked into many things! I was wondering if your daughter has had her eyesight and hearing checked out? Left field thought I had from her teachers reporting your daughter is chatty and you gather she is a little disruptive. These simple things can affect behaviour to distract from the real issue. Eyesight and hearing would be good things to tick off the list of possible contributions to behaviour.
I did notice earlier you had asked how the parent coaching works. It's done online and over the phone. First session is 90 minutes to go over the issues you'd like some support with. You can then have up to another 3 sessions, each one hour long, done at your convenience. The coach will help you with practical tools that you can use straight away. I found it very useful and the coach was so knowledgeable and empowering. You can find the link here to read more and register.
The coaching is run in conjunction with The Benevolent Society, which are another fabulous organisation. We had an amazing caseworker from TBS who really changed our lives by working with my daughter and with me around my parenting. I'm not sure what area you're in, but check out their link here.
I look froward to hearing back from you.
Any other parents have further suggestions?
