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Bullying and self harm

Bullying and self harm


Bullying and self harm

Hi, I am new here because I am not sure what to do. 

I have a 13yr old daughter who is having a rough time, especially at school. She has at least two kids in her classes that keep harassing her. They say stuff like: **bleep**,  ain't nobody give a **bleep** about you, you should just die. Nobody wants you, Shut up! 
It seems like a daily thing. I see her slipping away, an academic kid, funny kid, motivated and full of life. Now she is having panic attacks and self harming.


I want to get her school involved but she is not convinced they will do anything. I also think it's time to get a counsellor involved but she doesn't want to go and I can't force her. I am a Youth Worker. But it's different when it's your own kid you know what I mean.

Anyone have some help


Re: Bullying and self harm

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Hello @ahouseof3, I am sorry to hear about what your daughter has been going through. It must be really difficult for you to support her through this. The things that the other children are saying to your daughter are extremely hurtful. As you mentioned, it sounds like it would be a good idea to involve some of the staff from your daughter's school. It might be helpful for you to talk with the school counsellor and your daughter's teacher first so that you can discuss some strategies to best support your daughter.


It is good that you are considering your daughter seeing a counsellor, it sounds tricky that she is not certain though. Introducing your daughter to online or telephone counselling might be a good starting point as she may feel a bit more in control of her therapy. Kids Helpline is a free and confidential service that offers both telephone and online counselling if your daughter is interested. Smiley Happy


You mentioned that your daughter has been self-harming, have you been getting any support around this so far? Do you have current concerns about your daughters safety?

Community Manager

Re: Bullying and self harm

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Hi @ahouseof3 , 


I just thought I would quickly check in with you, and see how you are feeling today? I have a daughter who's a similar age (mine is 12), and I can only imagine how distressing it must be as a parent to have your child experiencing this kind of trauma at school.


I hope you're able to get some answers from her school, and hopefully get some support for both of you moving forward. In my experience, approaching either the year advisor, guidance counsellor, or assistant principal generally seems to get the best results - as you'd be aware, most schools should have pretty good frameworks to address bullying. Ideally, they should be willing to work with you both to support your daughter, make sure she feels safe, and address the unacceptable behaviour with the students.


That being said, I also know this doesn't always happen. We do have some really good resources on both ReachOut Parents, and ReachOut schools, around these issues. If you think it would be helpful I'd be happy to share some more, but here's a few as a starting point:


ReachOut Schools: Bullying


What to do if your teen is being bullied


Cyberbullying and teenagers


I imagine it would have felt very upsetting hearing that your daughter has been self harming, even if it's something that you deal with as a Youth Worker it is often different when it's your own child. Are you concerned about your daughter's safety at all? 


I hope you're feeling a bit better today - also just a quick note to let you know I moved your post to another part of the forums, just so you can get more support from other parents. I hope that things are feeling a bit calmer for you today, we are always here if you want to talk through things or connect with other parents.