05-19-2019 04:46 PM - last edited on 05-20-2019 12:11 PM by Jess1-RO
I discovered this platform on Google out of desperation. Sometimes it is just easier to tell strangers things we wouldn't people we know. I have a few things that have reduced my mental health down to nothing. I am so exhausted and am literally hanging onto my job by a thread. The decline in our family unit started 2 months ago when my 15 year old daughter made two attempts to take her life. Both times she was admitted into hospital however the second attempt was severe and it quite literally is a miracle that she is with us. I work as a Teacher and took 2 weeks off to be at the hospital everyday until late. I feel so guilty because if the signs were there before I certainly didn't see them. She stayed in hospital for 3 weeks and I asked my ex husband if she could temporarily stay with him while I sort my house by way of locking away potential hazards as well as seek the services of a counsellor. Initially I couldn't eat for about 4 days and my appetite is not quite back to normal. Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since she was discharged and I have only seen her a handful of times and she has stayed over once. My ex husband has resorted to with holding her. Last week she told me that I don't love her and I don't want her around. This couldn't be further from the truth! I have told her, shown her, been quiet and gone with the flow. It's at the point that I am considering alternative job options due to the strain this has put on all of us. This is not a life...I feel like it is just an existence. I have been to the doctor and am currently medicated for depression which is just masking the problem. I have an 8 year old with special needs and am finding life too much. We moved to Australia about 10 years ago from England so I don't have any family here. I have thought about returning but cannot do so without my ex-husbands consent. Our children currently do not have passports as he won't allow it. I would never abandon them or leave the country without permission as I am well aware of the consequences. I have an aunt and uncle in Perth and could move there but once again that is not without a court battle. I am not in the right frame of mind and I don't even know if I can go to work anymore. Quitting isn't an option as we would struggle financially. I have never felt so broken in all my life. The struggles are real and I don't know where to turn .
05-20-2019 02:06 AM - last edited on 05-20-2019 12:12 PM by Jess1-RO
So sorry to hear you are going through this. Depression is awful, I know as I have it & so does my teenage son.
Does your daughter know you have depression? Or do you not want to tell her because she is so fragile at the moment?
Can you take any long service leave at work?
Have you called parentline 1300 30 1300 to talk to someone?
You must feel so alone not having your family close by. Is anyone from England able to come & stay with you for a few months?
Sorry for all the questions, just trying to think of ways to help you.
I hope the hospital helped you start the process of getting therapy for your daughter & that she's willing to talk & receive that help.
Sending you a big hug.
Hold on, I know the future seems bleak (depression will make you feel that way) but you can do this.
I recommend asking your gp & even the hospital about support services for you & your family that the government can provide.
Take care, thinking of you.
05-24-2019 11:44 AM
Hey there @3Jellybabies, it's been awhile since we last heard from you, how are you doing?
You mentioned that you sought out the services of a counselor, was this helpful for you? It can be so difficult to support others when we're struggling and seeking support of a counselor and a gp is a fantastic step, including posting here
Do you think you'd be able to talk to someone at work with how you've been feeling, at least from a career-perspective? They may be able to give you some insight in how you can move forward with your work.
Something else that may be helpful for you is trying self-care, we have a couple of threads here and here about the topic but essentially it is taking some time for yourself to do something either relaxing or helpful, which could be anything from eating a piece of fruit or watching an episode of a show you like. Do you think this is something you could try?
I hope that everything is going alright, we're here to listen