I discovered this platform on Google out of desperation. Sometimes it is just easier to tell strangers things we wouldn't people we know. I have a few things that have reduced my mental health down to nothing. I am so exhausted and am literally hanging onto my job by a thread. The decline in our family unit started 2 months ago when my 15 year old daughter made two attempts to take her life. Both times she was admitted into hospital however the second attempt was severe and it quite literally is a miracle that she is with us. I work as a Teacher and took 2 weeks off to be at the hospital everyday until late. I feel so guilty because if the signs were there before I certainly didn't see them. She stayed in hospital for 3 weeks and I asked my ex husband if she could temporarily stay with him while I sort my house by way of locking away potential hazards as well as seek the services of a counsellor. Initially I couldn't eat for about 4 days and my appetite is not quite back to normal. Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since she was discharged and I have only seen her a handful of times and she has stayed over once. My ex husband has resorted to with holding her. Last week she told me that I don't love her and I don't want her around. This couldn't be further from the truth! I have told her, shown her, been quiet and gone with the flow. It's at the point that I am considering alternative job options due to the strain this has put on all of us. This is not a life...I feel like it is just an existence. I have been to the doctor and am currently medicated for depression which is just masking the problem. I have an 8 year old with special needs and am finding life too much. We moved to Australia about 10 years ago from England so I don't have any family here. I have thought about returning but cannot do so without my ex-husbands consent. Our children currently do not have passports as he won't allow it. I would never abandon them or leave the country without permission as I am well aware of the consequences. I have an aunt and uncle in Perth and could move there but once again that is not without a court battle. I am not in the right frame of mind and I don't even know if I can go to work anymore. Quitting isn't an option as we would struggle financially. I have never felt so broken in all my life. The struggles are real and I don't know where to turn :(.
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