Don't know what to do about my 13 year old daughter that stays in her room in the dark all the time

[stressedmum4]

My 13 year old daughter used to be an outgoing girl with lots of friends. She was also very good at school, behaviour and achievement. Over the last year she has become withdrawn, staying in her room all the time sitting in her bed listening to music in the dark, or sleeping. She rarely goes to see her friends, and her school work has also deteriorated. She has been diagnosed with POTS which I'm sure has made life hard for her, but she just seems like a different girl. I don't know what to do. If I suggest that she is in her room too much she gets mad at me and just either doesn't talk or tells me i'm overreacting she just wants to listen to music. HELP!

[Maddy-RO]

Hey @stressedmum4 

Welcome to our forums and thank you for sharing what's going on with you. It must be really difficult to see such a change in your daughter and it would understandably leave you feeling a little worried about her.

I'm wondering if POTS was recently diagnosed...was it? And if so, how bad is it? Is it possible that this condition could be "getting" to her emotionally? If she's not able to do what she once could, then I imagine it would be quite an adjustment for her. Her condition could also be causing her to lay down /sleep - I mean, if standing is uncomfortable for her, then it makes sense that she is laying down. It might be worth booking her in with a psychologist for support, ideally a health psychologist, or someone who is familiar with POTS. A health psychologist could assist her with adjusting to her illness.

It sounds like you really care about your daughter and like you are doing your best to support her. It's so hard sometimes, especially if they don't open up. I imagine as a parent it would be hard to watch that - you know, we just want the best for our kids. I thought I'd inform you of a few services that may be of use to you. We have a one-on-one, free, coaching service where you can get advice and support on child-related matters. You can register for a session here. I thought I'd also inform you of ParentLine -they offer free and confidential counselling and support to parents and carers on any parenting issues they may be facing. The number for Parentline differs per state. Scroll to the bottom of this page to see which number to call if you're interested. 

If your daughter does end up opening up to you a little bit more, and if she says that she is a little distressed/upset at the moment, please feel free to give her Kids Helpline's number for free, one on one counseling. You can find their contact details towards the bottom of this page here. She may also like to join are Youth Forum for peer support which can be found here. It's anonymous forum and a lot of our young users find it really helpful to be able to connect with others going through similar situations.

Please keep us posted with how things go with your daughter. Hopefully she starts opening up about things soon (assuming something is wrong).