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I need advice about my daughter

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I need advice about my daughter


I need advice about my daughter

I don't want to get into any extreme detail but I seriously must VENT for a bit and just type this out. 


I am 39, I have 2 daughters, ages 16 and 12.


But yesterday I ended up walking in into my younger daughters room, I was thinking she was out with her older sister and thinking I was home alone. But I walked right in and found her with my older daughters best friend and she was going down on him! UUUGGGHHH!!! Yea, I wish I could explain the shock and anger and sickness I felt from witnessing this! I ended up yelling at both of them and kicked the boy out! The boy is 15 and he is obviously not welcomed here EVER AGAIN!!! 


I yelled at my daughter! Extremely yelled at her! I ended up handling the situation all wrong but at the time I just couldn't control myself. My 12 year old daughter was giving a bj to a boy that I knew. How else should I have reacted!?!?!?!?!?!?!


OK.....I am obviously sorta calmed down now but I need some help on how I should handle this from here. Obviously the sex talk will happen within the week but should I be mad or should I be understanding? And how do I tell her sorry for being so mad at her to begin with? Just anybody who has ideas please tell me. 


My daughter is a super young 12 year old but I think that her sister is making her become older faster. My 16 year old is not a virgin, I know this, but it's something that has never truly been talked about. 


I am done venting.



Star contributor

Re: I need advice about my daughter

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Hi @cali_mouse,


I can hear from your post that this was a real shock for you, and something you are still feeling the effect of today. 


Sex is a really important topic of discussion for young people, and it sounds like having this discussion with your daughters may be beneficial for all of you. You have mentioned that your older daughter has also been sexually active, have you had this discussion with her about sex? If so, how was the conversation and do you think this is a discussion you can have with your 12 year old?


I can imagine that it must have been such a shock that your 12 year old is sexually active, do you have anyone you can talk to about the shock? 


If you are planning a discussion about sex with your daughters, we have some resources here that might be able to help you too.


Whenever you need to vent, we are always here to lend an ear Heart


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