I think my daughter is holding on all day and not peeing.

[sunshine51]

Hi there

I have a just turned 13 year old daughter that I think is having some big toileting issues. 

I am unsure for how long this has been going on but I am pretty sure she isnt using the school toilets,  (she luckily doesnt have her period yet).   I havent talked to her about this so am just joining the dots but i had noticed she is coming home busting for the toilet and on some of the car trips home which is about 15 minutes she is quite fidgetty and uncomfortable.  When we get home she is straight to the toilet almost every day.

I also noticed which really concerned me her knickers in the wash basket were smelling of urine.  I think there are days when she cant hold on and is partially wetting or maybe even fully wetting herself.

I dont really know how to bring this up with her, but want to get to the bottom of the issue. Anyone had any simular issues with older children in this situation? 

Thanks 

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @sunshine51, thanks for sharing that here with us. It sounds like you have a really challenging situation on your hands. It is so difficult to know how to approach such a sensitive issue with a teenager. You can also raise these kinds of concern with your GP as it may or may not be related to other kinds of issues. If you do speak about it with your daughter, it is important to not assume or judge but stick to the behaviour you have noticed. If you feel as though the conversation does not go well, you could also encourage your daughter to chat to someone they trust, a counsellor or a service like Kids Helpline.

Please keep us updated 

[sunshine51]

Ok so I am unsure if I did the right thing but after talking to a couple of other parents over the weekend they suggested I pick her up from school like normal, but run a few errands and take longer to get home from school than normal
We are normally a 15 min drive from school. I picked up like normal, then said we had to head out west to pick up some of my art supplies about 20 min drive, we got to the art place and I went in and got my supplies came back and my daughter was like mum I'm busting I have to pee like now, so we dashed to a McDonald's and she raced in. It then created an opportunity for me to chat to her and I said I notice you seem to need to pee alot after school is everything ok? She started crying and seemed really embarrassed then progressed to tell me when she needs to go she has to go straight away and she can't hold on for long, and she said a few times she has peed a bit in her knickers, she has been taking spares to school and trying to manage the situation herself. I think she has a bladder issue, I have made an appointment for the doctor tomorrow morning. She also told me she fully wet the bed a few weeks ago, she woke up to her peeing. She hasn't wet the bed every I don't think. I'm so glad she opened up to me, now to get her some help

[Janine-RO]

Hi @sunshine51 , 

Thanks so much for updating us on how you're going with your daughter. It's great that she was able to open up to you, and that you're getting her checked out by the doctor. Those things can be so embarrassing for teens, especially at that age, and it's great that she's going to get it looked in to. Hopefully there's a straight forward solution for her  

You sound like a really switched on and caring mum, she's lucky to have you.