Need help now?

Passive aggressive bullying

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Super star contributor

Re: Passive aggressive bullying

I'm so glad your daughter felt supported and backed up by you @sandrae.  I think mine just came back at me because her friend's response was even worse after I'd intervened. I'm also glad for your daughter that she's decided not to share a room with them and have a room of her own. As she said, she'll no doubt have other friends stay with her. 


My daughter's learning to recover quite quickly and sort things out which is great. I think our girls are really switched on to what makes a good friend and what doesn't which is awesome, but yes, creates heartache for them along the way. 


I'll be interested to see how it goes for your girl, and wishing her the best time away! Smiley Happy

Active scribe

Re: Passive aggressive bullying

I'm so very sorry to hear that your daughter is experiencing this...this kind of bullying behavior is so cruel because it is so manipulative and under the radar that the victim often gets gaslit and is left to suffer alone. One thing that is certain-your daughter is not alone and is very loved! My daughter is experiencing the same exact type of bullying. Her best friend of many years became the popular girl and started ignoring, excluding her, turning others agains her and talking behind her back. When she finally decided that she'd had enough and stood up for herself, the girl made a scene by crying and turning a large number of children against her.

Since that day she has been socially blacklisted -kids have thrown their lunch at her, started rumors about her sexuality, and refuse to talk to her. As painful as it has been, the silver lining in all of this is that it has brought us closer together. I had to walk away from a 10 year friendship with this girl's mother, who basically responded with, "my daughter did nothing; I'm confused as to why yours is even upset".

I too, have struggled so much with anger! As hard as it has been, I've tried to manage my anger by reminding myself that this painful experience has created an opportunity for us to talk about important life lessons-how to set boundaries, how to recognize toxic relationships and how to trust her feelings. I've also spent more one on one time than ever with her-going to movies, doing fun things to take her mind off of the toxicity. The fact that your daughter is coming to you for support shows just how much she trusts and values her relationship with you and feels heard by you. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. Your daughter is very lucky to have you in her corner!