Hello, My 5th grade daughter has been struggling with the behavior of her best friend for a while now. When it is just the two of them things seem okay, but the girl will exclude her when they are in a group setting by ignoring her, telling her to go away, or telling her there is no room for her. She even asked the teacher to move her seat away from hers. She has been sending mean texts to for a while now and and reacts with jealousy and anger when something good happens to my daughter. We happen to be very close with her parents and have attempted to manage it on our own by coaching our daughter through it, which has seemed to keep things somewhat at bay up until now. A few months ago the girl started telling the friend group that my daughter has been talking behind their backs (my daughter maintains that this is untrue); when my daughter spoke up and said she was hurt, the girl proceeded to cry and had a large group of their friends gather around her (she is very popular). After that day almost their entire friend group excluded her and would not speak to her. Even a friend who was experiencing the same treatment whom my daughter supported has sided with this girl. Every time my daughter tries to make a new friend this girl invites the friend to their group and my daughter is again isolated. I finally had a discussion with her mother. The girl denied everything and the mom is angry with me and believes that her daughter has done nothing wrong. My question is, should I cease all contact with this girl knowing that it will continue to cause my daughter social exclusion? The girl's mother keeps extending invites despite me voicing my concerns. I can see that my daughter is trying to hold healthy boundaries, which I am very proud of, but I also don't want her to continue to be the target of this behavior. I don't want to send the message that she should take this treatment, but I see now that this girl holds a lot of social capital and can make my daughter's life awful at school (it is a small private school). We are even to the point of moving our daughter back to public school to have a fresh start where this girl doesn't hold as much influence. Thanks very much.
... View more