The ReachOut Parents and Carers Forum will close from 25th November 2024. Thanks to all parents and carers who have contributed to the Forum over the past 8 years - we appreciate it! For free professional coaching, check out our One-on-One Support service.
Need help now?

Should I reach out to another mom about her child?

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Should I reach out to another mom about her child?

Reply
Scribe
Curiousmom1

Should I reach out to another mom about her child?

My 13 year old daughters best friend is becoming involved in some disturbing behaviour. Lying, nude pics, vaping, looking for acceptance anywhere she can find it (internet).
I’ve approached her mom twice over the last year. We are friends. I have given details on other things earlier, but not these new behaviours. Both times I made it clear to her that she should be looking at her daughters phone.
She was receptive and sounded thankful for the heads up.
Do I approach her again?
What is my responsibility as a parent to point out the things I know about her daughter?
My concern is first that my daughter obviously confided in me. And second, I don’t want something to happen to her friend, and I could have said something.
I also don’t know if it’s my place. I have reached out twice now.
Star contributor
Janine-RO

Re: Should I reach out to another mom about her child?

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Curiousmom1 , 

 

That's such a hard one - especially if your daughter's friend is engaging in behaviours that you think might be dangerous (which it sounds like she is).  The nude pics in particular sound quite concerning especially given her age - had you talked to her mother about these before?  

 

It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with her mom, but I can completely understand feeling awkward about reaching out again when you've already done so twice. On the other hand, as a parent myself I can say I would definitely want someone to tell me if my daughter was doing things like that online.  We have some good resources on our website that can help parents to start those awkward conversations - risky online behvaviour is definitely something that is becoming more common, and often teens aren't fully aware of the potential long term consequences. 

 

Do your daughters go to school together? Another strategy could be to give the school a heads up (without necessarily mentioning any names) so that they could have the opportunity to talk to students about online safety etc - do you think that could be a middle ground for you?