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Son's Sudden Drastic Withdrawl from EVERYTHING

Son's Sudden Drastic Withdrawl from EVERYTHING

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WorriedMom2021

Son's Sudden Drastic Withdrawl from EVERYTHING

Hello. My son is 18. He will be 19 this week. Since the Corona Virus started I began to notice sudden changes with him. He suddenly stopped vocally talking. At first he said that his breath was smelling, and his teeth felt like it is shifting. He said that when he opens his mouth that we/people will cough around him, and throw up. I reminded him that his sister throws up because she is pregnant, and I cough because I have chest congestion, but he wants me to think that it is because of him. I asked him if he was in any pain, or does he see anything that isn't normal in his mouth. He says no, and I told him that we are coughing because we are smoking (but shouldn't he know this). He went through at least 2 entire containers of dental floss in less than 2 weeks, and I bought him toungue cleaners at his request. I also made a dentist appointment for him. He cancelled the first one because he wanted the last appointment of the day, and no other patients around. He cancelled the second because he "didn't want to see other people". The third appointment he kept. After the appointment I called the dentist for an update. The dentist said that she did not smell his breath, and she also did not see any problem of concern. The dentist said that maybe his issue is not within his mouth. I then told my son that we should get an x-ray done the next day. He has been putting it off now for 3 weeks. He says that he doesn't want to go to the hospital or be around other people. 
 
I have a 2 bedroom apartment, (my daughter lives with me), and my son was living with their dad temporarily just to finish school. He moved in with me two years ago, because his dad and his wife, where moving away from the school district. He sleeps in the living room on the couch. Although I tried extremely hard to be involved with my son's school his father kept procrastinating putting me on the school's list to be involved, or to be able to remove our son from their school. He just kept saying that our son was doing well in school, and that he keeps forgetting to send me a report card. I went an entire month of trying to cut through the red tape of entering my son into another school when he moved in with me. I did explain to them that the father and myself have a verbal agreement with the on goings of our children, but they needed dad's written consent. 
 
After about a month, I was finally able to have my son transferred from one school to another. But there was one problem. He was seriously failing at the other school (and I didn't know), and the only way that he would be able to finish this year and graduate with his class was to do his schooling online (and redo the entire year in 4 months). I explained this to my son, and I told him that we can do this together. I will be there for him every step of the way since I was always an honor roll student in school. The school gave him a computer, and I helped him to review what was required of him. That was the first and last time that he touched the computer. I decided to show him how he needed to do it by completing a course on my own. I spent 3 hours after work everynight on his school work. I got a B. I showed him everything that I needed to do. I showed him all of my notes, and he wasn't even really paying attention to me. I closed the computer, and I didn't touch it again. 
 
Shortly after, during the same month the Corona Virus situation started. I was sent to work at home, and this was around March 15, 2020. That same month is when he stopped verbally talking, and that led to the dentist situation. Within two weeks of the dentist appointment he started sleeping in the bathroom tub. I asked him what he was doing, and he ignores me. He makes no response. He also moved his XBox into the bathroom, and he sits on a chair that he pulls into the bathroom (it can only fit in front of the toilet). His computer monitor is on the back of the toilet. Mind you, my bathroom is small, and he has to come out of the bathroom for his sister and I to use the bathroom or take a shower. My daughter is 6 months pregnant, and I my Diabetes is out of control again, and I have to use the bathroom frequently. He seems to get annoyed with us that we constanty ask him to use the bathroom. I thought that he needed more privacy so I offered him to take my bedroom, but he refused. 
 
I do not know what else to do, but I think that he and I need help. I also suggested to him that he talk to someone other than me or his sister. He refused that too, or just ignores me. He refues to go out of the house even if it is for something that HE wants. The only time that he has been out of the house since March 2020 was to go to the dentist in March 2021. It is now May 2021, and things are not improving, but getting worse. How can I make him see someone if I cannot get him out of the house or even communicate on the subject? Does anyone have any suggestions/advice?
 
 
Mod
MaryRO

Re: Son's Sudden Drastic Withdrawl from EVERYTHING

Hi @WorriedMom2021,

 

Sorry to hear about your struggles with your son as it seems like a very tricky situation. Is there a local GP that can do home visits to your son. Is it possible that your son might need a Mental Health Assessment? Is there a hotline that you can call such as Nurses On Call that can give you some local advice as to who you can potentially reach out to? Your son's school may also be a great resource here as they may know of outreach programs that can support your son or at lease offer some tips or advice in how to support him. There may also be a hotline of counsellors/psychologist you may be able to call to get advice on tips and local supports. Does your doctor's office have a mental health liaison that you can have a chat with?

 

Hopefully some of these suggestions open the door to seeking more appropriate supports for your family.  We can only imagine how tough things are for you all right now.

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