Hi @granny2
Welcome to the forum, thanks for posting 
Sorry to hear about what has been happening for you lately, it sounds like you and your family have been through a lot and it must be really tough for you all.
I'm wondering if your grandkids have received any supports for their trauma and anxiety? Is there anything that has helped them in the past that could be worth revisiting again?
Blue Knot are a foundation that specialise in trauma that could be worth having a look at to further understand supporting them through managing the after affects of traumatic experiences. They have a helpline which can be accessed here, as well as lots of great resources for carers
I am hearing that supporting your granddaughter is becoming very draining and this is completely understandable. Do you feel like she might benefit from seeing a psychologist for her anxiety? Apologies if this is already something you are doing, but if you aren't we can chat more about how to go about this if you think it would be helpful. We also have some content here about conflict with teenagers with some tips in it that could be good to look at as well.
I also wanted to ask if you are getting support for yourself? It's important that you are able to get the support you deserve too @granny2 We have a free one-on-one coaching service for parents and carers that I'll link here if you want to check it out
