08-02-2022 01:34 AM
08-02-2022 04:24 PM
Hi @FlorenceSamuels , and welcome to the online community! Our Parents Forum is a space that is open to international users, so you're more than welcome to post from the UK.
I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through with your son, it sounds incredibly difficult to see him disengaged from his peers and the family. You mentioned that his trouble with friends and isolation started in lockdown - did he have any trouble making friends prior to this?
From what you've said, it sounds as though your son does enjoy some of the time he spends with his family, but that his PC and phone might be acting as a bit of a security blanket since COVID. Unfortunately, this seems to be very common - some young people (and adults too) have been struggling to adjust to life after lockdown and are finding it a bit difficult to get back into the habit of spending time with friends and socialising in a way that doesn't involve technology. If you think it might be useful, Headspace has a self-assessment quiz on returning to a pre-COVID lifestyle. The quiz is designed to help young people to identify what they are finding hard about adjusting to life after lockdown and provides some ideas and coping strategies based on what your teen selects. You can find it here.
It seems like you've been really proactive in seeking out support for your son. What do you think about the advice that his GP gave you to take his PC away from him? There's no right or wrong answer here, it's all about what you think will work best for your teen, but if you're leaning towards a more gradual approach, it might be useful to set up some 'screen-free family time' for a few hours each night or on weekends. If you set up a time at home where everyone is expected to stop using their screens, hopefully this might help ease him back into socialising and engaging with the family. And, if there's an expectation that everyone stops using their screens, this might help him to see that he's not being 'punished' or singled out. Do you think this could work for you and your family?
08-25-2022 08:03 PM
08-26-2022 02:40 PM
Hi @FlorenceSamuels , it’s nice to hear from you again. We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and share what’s been going on for you. It has shown a lot of courage
I am sorry to hear that your son had a falling out with his friend, that can be really tough for a young person to go through. It’s such a bummer that the club in your area doesn’t offer the Explorers group, I wonder if there are any other clubs or activities in your area that interest your son?
You mentioned that you found a run club/counsellor service in your area, and that your son isn’t too keen on engaging with them at this point. I found this article on things to try when supporting your teen getting help here, I wonder if any of these tips might help with this?
It’s really positive to hear that you have been able to establish a routine around screen time, it sounds like routines work really well with your son
You mentioned that some adults haven’t been speaking in a very supportive way about your son, and I’m really sorry that you had to experience that. It sounds like the comments made were really hurtful, especially coming from family.
With everything that is going on, I am wondering if you have any support for yourself? Supporting someone through a tough time can be tough on you too, and it’s important to take care of yourself just as much as it is to take care of your son. Is there anyone you trust to talk about this with? Such as a friend/family member or a counsellor?
I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this, we are here to support you.
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