Vaping and stealing

[Mumof2girls_]

Hi all,
First post here. I have found videos and conversations on my 13 year old daughters phone (she know I look at it periodically). Videos of her vaping and conversations talking about ‘racking’ at the local shopping centre. Had to Google racking and it means stealing. I am pretty shook up. The vaping issue came up a couple months ago where she said she had tried it twice and didn’t do it anymore because she didn’t like it. But there are a bunch of videos of her doing it over a 4 month period, in her bedroom at home. I am really upset about this disrespect and breach of trust. The stealing is also a major concern although she hasn’t admitted it, instead she says it was a friend who she was with who did it. I can’t understand where we have gone wrong. That she thinks it’s ok to steal and lie to us. I’m reaching out in the hope that some of you may have some advice or are going through similar things. Thanks for reading.

[Chloe-RO]

@Mumof2girls_ ,

It sounds so incredibly tough to see your children not only lie to you but to also dabble with unlawful activity. 

Teenage-hood is a very trying time for both parents and children. Teenagers often test boundaries, and sometimes, the more parents resist, the further teenagers push.

Since finding these vidoes etc, have you directly been open and transparent about it? That is, to have a sit down conversation with each of them? This conversation may also mean you let them know you have seen their phone.

These conversations can be tough. However, it may guide you to know what to do next. Sometimes, linking into with police youth services can be helpful.

Looking forward to hearing how things go.

[Blake-RO]

Hey @Mumof2girls_ 

I just wanted to quickly jump on after reading your post and wanted to share these articles with you that I thought you might find helpful. They both provide some information along with a list of suggestions of things you can try. The first one is about effective communication and teenagers and the other one is about building trust with teenagers.

I also know that you mentioned that you have found videos and conversations on your daughters’ phone and I wanted to let you know that Esafety has some really great resources, videos and information for parents surrounding online safety that may be helpful to have a look at.

It sounds like it has been a challenging time for you recently and we are so glad that you have been able to reach out and share this with us. If you are wanting more advice and support, we have a free one-on-one service for parents and carers if you’re interested.

[Vbahio]

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@Blake-RO wrote:

Hey @Mumof2girls_ 

I just wanted to quickly jump on after reading your post and wanted to share these articles with you that I thought you might find helpful. They both provide some information along with a list of suggestions of things you can try. The first one is about effective communication and teenagers and the other one is about building trust with teenagers.

I also know that you mentioned that you have found videos and conversations on your daughters’ phone and I wanted to let you know that Esafety has some really great resources, videos and information for parents surrounding online safety that may be helpful to have a look at.

It sounds like it has been a challenging time for you recently and we are so glad that you have been able to reach out and share this with us. If you are wanting more advice and support, we have a free one-on-one service  for parents and carers if you’re interested.

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Effective communication and building trust are key components of any relationship, and it's important to keep an open dialogue with teenagers, especially when it comes to online safety.

Esafety resources can be particularly helpful for parents to understand the potential risks associated with social media and other online platforms. I would encourage any concerned parent to make use of these resources and tools to help keep their children safe online.

Thank you for offering the one-on-one service for parents and carers. It's great to know that there are resources available to provide support and guidance to parents who may be struggling.