About Chloe-RO

Chloe-RO · ‎11-30-2023

Dear @LIPTON , It sounds like an incredibly difficult place to be in. We hear that you know there needs to be consequences for stealing, yet your daughter has mentioned that she feels like self-harming due to the grounding. We read that there are some strong emotions in this. As ReachOut Parent Forums are for parents and families of teenagers, it is outside our scope to provide advice for 10 year olds. If you are interested, you may want to have a look at this factsheet about self-harm, however, please note it is targeted at teenagers. Parentline may also be helpful. Are there any supports in place for your daughter at school? Or has your child been referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services? Please know you are not alone.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-26-2023

Hey there @StepMumm4 , Thank you for opening up and sharing this with the ReachOut Community. It sounds like you have a special bond with your stepdaughter and the last thing you want is for her to be seen as misbehaving for others, including at school. I read that she has confided in you and shared with you what's happening for her at the moment. Is this something you can speak to your partner about and hopefully it can be brought up to the child's other parent? I recognise that this may be difficult. It's so important that our young people feel safe in their home environment. As a parent, is your partner able to contact your stepdaughter's school and have a chat with them? There may be supports your stepdaughter is able to access at school such as from the wellbeing officer etc. I read you are concerned right now. We encourage you to keep open those lines of communication and hope things get better soon. Growing up is certainly not easy. But it sounds like your step daughter is so lucky to have you. I'll also send you an email shortly.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-26-2023

Hi there @cjs_mmm , Thank you for responding. It sounds like you are have been doing what you can on your side to better things but your wife does not really seem interested. Do I have that right? The points you have raised seem reasonable. I'm curious to know what you think might be stopping her from engaging in couples therapy? Have you ever been able to share these goals of therapy with her - whether in writing or face-to-face? I'm not expert, but perhaps it's good to speak to someone about your current situation? As parents, both have rights when it comes to their children. Perhaps Family Relationships Online which Bel-RO shared with you is a good start. It may give you some guidance as to how to move forward. All the best.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-23-2023

Hey @cjs_mmm , Thank you for sharing. We read that your daughter is so dear to your heart. It sounds like it must have been exceptionally hard when your daughter moved in with her mum full time and you saw little of her. It is understandable that you want to see her move regularly and that you are wanting to be there for her as she is growing up. You are not alone. As you mentioned, teenagers are trying the trapeze by themselves now and yes, they may be testing their independence. I recognise you want to connect more with your daughter. This article may guide how to effectively communicate with your daughter in a way that lets her see that you want to genuinely connect with her more. At the same time, I wonder if you would be interested in ReachOut's Parent Coaching if you wanted to have some 1:1 support too. It sounds like you have had some incredible memories with your daughter and you just want to re-ignite that in the midst of growing up. Remember your own self-care. It recognise it is incredible difficult right now. We encourage your to remember those memories that make you laugh. There IS hope.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-12-2023

Hi @Sunshine_85 , Thank you for sharing what has been going on for you at home. It must be so disheartening to watch your children stay home instead of going to school. Unfortunately, it seems that school refusal or school can't is on rise. There are many parents in the same situation. It sounds like you have done what you can to support your 15 year old such as enrolling him into trade school. For some students, once they get into a habit of not going to school, they find it difficult to go back and face their peers. They would've also missed out on a lot of work which means they would find going back quite overwhelming. Have you asked your boys why they don't want to go to school? What would happen if they have a fresh start in a new school? Also, have you been in touch with the school to talk about your children's school can't? They may look at a re-engagement program for them such as getting them onsite to speak to a counsellor/wellbeing team, and slowly integrating them back into class - starting with a few hours at a time? These are all options schools are open to. But I hear your older one won't speak to anyone... would your younger one talk to someone? Here are some articles on school refusal that you might like to have a read through. ReachOut also have a free service that provides 1:1 parent coaching that you may want to check out as well. You can find more info here. As difficult as things are for you right now, it is important you have supports for yourself. Self-care is so important at this time.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-11-2023

Hi @Sunshine72 and @Sandee , We recognise the difficult place you are both in. It is understandable there is so much stress and sadness at the thought of your children not being home. It sounds even harder to hear that there is little anyone can do until they are ready to communicate. We are glad to see you supporting each other through this. It reminds us that we are not alone. We encourage you both to practice self-care and reach out for supports for yourselves. This 'waiting game' can be long and hard. Here is a fact sheet that may help you embrace self-care even though it may seem everything is against you right now. Please know you are not alone. We are here and we are listening.

Chloe-RO · ‎11-09-2023

Good Evening @Boohughes , I wanted to follow-up to see how things are going and whether there has been any change since you last posted?

Chloe-RO · ‎11-05-2023

Hi there @Boohughes , Thank you for sharing what's been happening for you. It sounds like a lot to contend with at home, especially when the constant arguing is between two teenagers - I guess we can say they aren't small children any more who you can separate! While reading your post, I'm wondering whether you have sat each boy down separately and tried to talk to them about what's going on for them so that they feel such strong anger towards their sibling? While it may be true that sibling rivalry is 'natural' and 'healthy' to some extent, from what you are describing, it sounds like this is getting a little beyond that point. I hear how much it is affecting the entire family. I wonder if it is worth while sharing this ReachOut article with them? This article talks about conflict with family and tips on working through the conflict. Do the boys have times when they have their own space? That is, they are not together at home e.g. one has extra curricular activities, or spends time out with friends or a parent? This may give them an opportunity to open up to a trusted person. ReachOut have a free 1:1 Parent Coaching course. Many parents and carers find this program very useful as they navigate the ups and downs of raising teenagers. In all this, please look after yourselves. Keep practising those BIG PARENT breaths and know you are not alone by watching this short video clip of a mother who tries to STAY CALM :) We look forward to hearing from you!

Chloe-RO · ‎11-05-2023

Hey @Empty , It sounds like an incredibly difficult place you are in. We are so glad you have reached out. It's important you have the opportunity to connect with a community and perhaps share some common concerns. I can hear how worried you are and you feel as though you have 'failed' your eldest 3. At the same time, there comes a time when teenagers tend to make their own choices. This does not necessarily mean you have 'failed'. Perhaps it's also an opportunity to speak to your younger children about online safety? You may be interested in reading this article about how parents can support their children in navigating the online world. As adults, we sometimes feel we need to be a step ahead, especially when it comes to technology. If you have questions about how to further support your children, you may want to speak to a counsellor on Parentline. ReachOut also has free 1:1 coaching service for parents which may be helpful for you. Above all, do you have supports in place for yourself? You mentioned that you feel "emotionally unavailable". Do you think talking through some of this with a professional may be helpful, whether it be with a GP, counsellor, or psychologist? Self-care is certainly of utmost importance at this time. Parenting can be hard at the best of times. When things get tough, it doesn't mean you have 'failed' or you are 'no good' as a parent. If anything, it shows incredible resilience and courage. We encourage you to continue connecting with the ReachOut community here. I'll also be sending you an email shortly so keep look out for it :)

Chloe-RO · ‎11-05-2023

Hi there @Akitten , Thank you for reaching out to the community and sharing what has been going on for you. It certainly takes a lot of courage to do what you have done for the sake of your daughter. I hear the grief you are feeling and your heart break over having to leave your daughter in South Australia with her father. At the same time, you were able to see how your declining mental health was affecting her. Do you still get to speak with your daughter? I'm wondering if this is a chance to focus on your own recovery and mental health so that perhaps one day you can be reunited with her and be the parent you ideally want to be for her? I hear she is the world to you so that you'd sure want what's best for her. It's great to hear that you have post discharge supports in place. Hopefully, you can be linked in with services longer term so you get the support you deserve. We encourage you to continue reaching out and connecting with the community. There are many others who want to support you through this so that you feel less alone. Talking about and working through the grief with a professional might help you in your recovery. Services such as Griefline have dedicated professionals you can speak to. Beyond Blue may also be helpful if you want to speak to someone. We hope to hear from you soon.

Chloe-RO · ‎10-11-2023

Hi @Sandee , I'm sorry to hear how hard it has been for you lately. I read of the constant fear you are living in, as well as the anxiety and emotional turmoil each day. I'm glad you have been able to go to your GP to get a mental health care plan for yourself. Hopefully, you will be able to talk through some of what has been happening for you and the emotions that come with it. From your post, it sounds like your son was quite responsive when you showed how worried and upset you were - do you think so? I'm wondering whether language such as, "I feel really upset when I see you.....", will be helpful when starting a conversation? Something that parents and young people often find easier is when they talk while travelling in a car or walking so that they do not have to face the person directly - I wonder if that would make it easier for your son? It sounds like you are doing everything you can @Sandee . Please continue to look after yourself and practice self-care at this time. If you feel you need to speak to someone, you can contact services such as: Parentline Lifeline 13 11 14

Chloe-RO · ‎09-21-2023

Hi there @kujo4pm , Thanks for posting and reaching out to the community to ask about experiences related to working from home. I hear how great it has been for you to be able to work from home and look after your children at the same time. I'm sure there are many others who are in a similar position. Many Australian workplaces now have requested workers return onsite whether for some or all of the time (which I'm sure you are aware of). I recognise how this can turn things upside down for those who have carer responsibilities, especially for young children. You mentioned you have 'been ordered back into the office' - there are many ins and outs of this. If you haven't looked into this already, it's good to know your rights which you can read up on here from the Fair Work Ombudsman around Flexibility in the Workplace. There are many factors which may or may not apply to you, so it's good to know what the law says. Some employers are happy to make reasonable adjustments in terms of flexible work arrangements - however, of course this is dependant on your case. I hope you come to a place where feel confident and comfortable with fulfilling both your work and carer responsibilities. We look forward to hearing how you go.

Chloe-RO · ‎09-17-2023

Hi @foster256 , Thank you for reaching out and sharing what's been going on for you. It certainly sounds like things have been tough for the whole family. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter does not feel like she wants to be at home. It must be very hard for you to hear this as a parent. I'm glad to hear that she has supports in place such as a psychologist, and school supports. Having the two weeks in a residential service may be a good circuit breaker for her. These youth services work with recovery goals to help the young person in their daily functioning. These goals are set at the beginning of the stay and evaluated just before discharge. Hopefully this 2 week stay will help to have a clearer understanding of what she wants for her future. I hear you have found activities she enjoys which is a good start. It sounds like you are doing what you can to support her. I hear how hard it is to ride this wave right now. I wonder if you would be interested in ReachOut's free 1:1 Support for parents. You can read more about it here. At this time, please take care of yourself. Self-care is most important for all involved.

Chloe-RO · ‎09-16-2023

Hi there @lostB , Thank you for posting and sharing what's been happening for you in the past few weeks. It sounds like it is a difficult time for you as you make preparations around your first child. We are sorry things are so tough right now and that your ex-partner does not want you at any of the scans or be at the birth. It is understandable that you feel you are missing out on a lot. You have raised some very valid questions in your post about having your last name on the birth certificate, applying for custody, etc. However, unfortunately, the ReachOut forums are aimed towards parents and carers of teens so we cannot give you advice on this. However, I wanted to refer you to Family Relationships Online which may answer some of these questions you have. They may be able to direct you to legal services so that you have agreements in place before the birth. At the same time, we want to remind you to take care of yourself and your own mental health. SANE is a mental health service for adults which you may want to access for your own support at this time. Please take care. We wish you all the best.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-20-2023

Hi there @Gr189 , Thank you for posting and sharing what has been happening for you. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and share your story. I read that your daughter finds it hard to get along with her stepdad and they keep having arguments. It must be so hard to see this happening all the time. I read that after your daughter calmed down, she asked to be adopted and if it didn't happen, she would make it happen. Were you able to speak to her and ask her a little more about how she was feeling and what was happening for her? It sounds like she was quite upset even after calming down. Do you have any supports around you who you can lean on when things get tough? e.g. family, friends? I'll send you a check-in email shortly.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-19-2023

Hi @LeeBelle , Thank you for responding. I'm glad to hear you were able to speak to the psychologist and the wait will be about a week. What a relief that you didn't have to wait months for support. I'm sorry to hear how tired and run down you are feeling at the moment. With the constant worry, it is understandable that you feel like you don't have energy and are worn out. It must be so hard that your husband doesn't see the need for other supports including professional supports. I read that you find it hard to speak to him about these things because he just doesn't get it. I recognise that his family don't really have an understanding either, and that can leave you so isolated. On the flip side, it's good to hear you had a few hours of reprieve when the kids came over. It must have felt so liberating to be able to laugh and have fun with them. How old are they? I read that the eldest has noticed something isn't right with their once much loved aunt. Have you ever considered what you could say to them? I hope you are able to get the support you need. That is, put on your own oxygen mask before saving others. By connecting with others on the forums, I hope you will feel less isolated in this part of your journey. Remember, you are not alone. We look forward to hearing from you.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-16-2023

Hi there @LeeBelle , It sounds like you and your husband are going through so much at the moment. It is no wonder it has taken a toll on your body. It must be so hard to watch your son, and now your daughter go down this path. Please know you are not alone in this. I am glad your GP was able to help you with the referral to see a psychologist. It's so important that you have a safe space to talk about what's going on for you. Speaking to someone can bring clarity to the situation. It can also give you hope and strength. Does your husband have someone to speak to as well - if he needs it? Hang in there @LeeBelle . We are sitting with you.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-13-2023

Hi @TassieMama , It sounds like there's a lot in the mix of things. I read that your daughter has anxiety and depression, and finds it difficult to cope with work and full time school. At the same time, it is understandable that there is a lot of pressure placed on you and your husband. So much so that the option of helping her move out is before you. Have you had the opportunity to speak to her doctor or the school to see if there are other strategies, services or supports that she can access? I read that apart from medication, your daughter is not doing much to help herself. Yet at the same time, I see that glimmer of hope in that she is looking forward to her placement at a primary school. It would be good to see how she copes with this placement and whether working in a school is something she would like to pursue. I'm wondering whether you and/or your husband be interested in this Parent Coaching 1:1 service? It may give you some clarity about the current situation you are in. Please know you are not alone.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-13-2023

Hi @t2008 , Thank you for reaching out and posting about what's been happening. It sounds like a very difficult place to be in. It is understandable that you want to connect with others who may have experienced a similar situation. I'm wondering if you have ever connected with Amaze? This a nation autism helpline. They may be able to suggest some services to support both you and your child. Carer Gateway is another service you may be interested in. By connecting with others, I hope you will feel less alone in this journey. As a carer, do you have any supports in place? I read that you find your son's behaviour quite challenging at times. This can be very difficult if you are a sole carer for your son. Please know you are not alone.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-13-2023

Hi @AngelMum3 , Thank you for responding. It sounds like you are doing the best you can in raising your child to be the best he can. It can be challenging for any parent. Do you mind telling us how old your son is? It may help us better direct you to relevant services and resources.

Chloe-RO · ‎08-13-2023

Hi @Marie23 , Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. We reach that your 15 year old has just been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. It sounds like there may be questions around how to best help a teenager with ADHD and anxiety and hence you have reached out to the community. I'm wondering whether these articles will be helpful to you? They share a little about ADHD and teenagers and Anxiety and teenagers. Here is also a tip sheet about How to help your teen with ADHD and Things to try: anxiety If you have concerns about how your child is managing at school, it would be good to speak to the school if you haven't already. Sometimes, if needed, adjustments can be put in place to help your child succeed at school. Do you have supports in place for you or your daughter?

Chloe-RO · ‎07-23-2023

Hi there @Sunshine73 , I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling with attending school due to his anxiety. It is understandable that you are concerned about the social impacts of school refusal. The transition from primary to high school can be anxiety-provoking for many young people. From your post, I read that your son's anxiety has lasted more than just a few weeks and you are doing what you can to help him return to school. You are not alone. This story about a young person's school refusal may be helpful for you to read. It is good to hear that you have raised this with the school and you are meeting with wellbeing soon. Once the school and teachers are aware, they can put strategies in place to support your child. This may include regular breaks, using a take-a-break code card, allowing him to have a quiet space when he needs it, pairing him up with friends, or making regular check-ins with him. There IS hope. All the best. And we look forward to hearing how things go.

Chloe-RO · ‎07-22-2023

Hey @Amy_Parent , That's so great to hear that you were able to have a meeting about the missing money. Whether she admitted or denied, at least it's on the table that you are aware and have noticed that money has been going missing. At the same time, well done for reaching out to Parentline. It's times like these when hearing another's insight may be helpful. All the best with everything.

Chloe-RO · ‎07-08-2023

Hi there @Butterflymagic , Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing what is happening for you right now. It must be difficult to live in a small rural town and not have the support of family and friends while caring for your son. It is understandable that you are reaching out and wanting to connect with people who may be able to offer some insight, share experiences, and perhaps help you feel less alone in all this. We read that you also have your own health issues. Have you ever visited this link to various disability advocacy and support groups? You may be able to find something online or in your area. I know you mentioned you do not have any active supports at the moment. Is it possible for you to get any respite support for your son? At the same time, do you have anyone you can speak to, even over the phone, to support your own wellbeing? You may be interested in: ARFMI Carers 1300 554 660 Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ Please take care and look after yourself.

Chloe-RO · ‎06-24-2023

Hi there @Luna1967 Thank you for posting. I can hear how desperate things have become as everyone's life is put on hold because of your daughter's severe anxiety. It is understandable that you are reaching out in need of any support or advice. It sounds like hour daughter is in need of some professional intervention and support as soon as she can - for everyone's sake. I acknowledge she does not want to take any medication. Have you been able to understand why she may feel this way? It is normal for people to experience some form of anxiety as a way of protecting oneself. However, if it comes to the point where the anxiety is so strong even in their own house, then seeking out a professional would be a good start. You may want to read about general anxiety disorder here. Even if your daughter reads it so that she has a better understanding of why people reach out for support. I must be a lonely journey when people tell you to 'just leave her and go to work'. I can see why people would say that, seeing your daughter is nearly an adult. Yet at the same time, I hear the anxiety, panic and stress when you leave her even to go to the shops, or go to the clothesline. I'd also encourage you to find a way where by you can be supported. You mentioned you are close to have used your savings up and really need to return to work. As a carer, perhaps you can reach out to services such as: ARFMI Carers 1300 554 660 Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ All the best. Please take care.

Chloe-RO · ‎06-18-2023

Hey @Rusand , Thank you for posting! It's incredible you can connect with your son through drawing. I'm sorry to hear there are limitations on access, but at the same time, good on you for finding his passion. I hear you want to nurture your son's love of drawing. Have you heard of directed drawing? Directed drawing is taught in so many schools because of it's benefits. Kids learn to follow instructions, lay the foundations of art, develop fine motor skills in a creative way, connect learning and it also supports them to give attention to detail! An amazing channel teachers and families access is the Art for Kids Hub This channel actually shows a father working with their kids to teach them to draw. Let us know what you think.

Chloe-RO · ‎06-08-2023

Hi @AgonyA , Thank you for sharing your experiences of your journey around your son's recovery. You have been able to share valuable insights into what worked for you and your son. I encourage members to contact their health professionals to look at the best therapy/medication for your loved ones. One things for sure - recovery IS possible.

Chloe-RO · ‎05-27-2023

HI there @NannyPop , It sounds like such as stressful situation to face. As much as you want to help your granddaughter, she is refusing all support. I hear what you are saying that families allow your granddaughter to stay with them, with possibly little knowledge that you are all worried. Have you ever tried speaking to these families? Perhaps they are having the same issues as you are? Unfortunately, it is not uncommon nowadays. Education departments in various states of Australia recognise the challenges teens are faced with and have programs in place to better support them. However, if your teen is not at school, it will be difficult to participate in these programs. Some schools take their Year 9 students on regular lengthy hikes; some schools take students on Term-long camps. Do you think there are any wellbeing supports at school or adjustments that can be made to re-engage her? Or even consider alternative schooling? It may also be worthwhile understanding what is driving the school refusal. You can read more about it here. However, for now, I hear how traumatic and stressful things are for you right now. It would be a good idea to have supports in place for yourself such as a therapist, counsellor etc. So yes, the best start would be to see your doctor. We look forward to hearing how you go.

Chloe-RO · ‎05-24-2023

Hi there @mishm , Welcome to the forums. We are glad you have been able to reach out. I hear your struggles in supporting your daughter to go to school. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you and your daughter. Have you been able to speak to your daughter to talk about why she does not want to go to school? There can be so many reasons for this including: - anxiety and depression (is this why she does not want to go?) - friendship issues - bullying - boredom - tiredness (wanting to sleep in) - fear - lack of motivation There can be so many other reasons for school refusal, or it can be a mix of a few reasons. It might be worth trying to work out the WHY (if you haven't already). You may be interested in reading of this young person's account to see if you can relate to what they are sharing: Georgia's Story - too anxious to go to school You can also have a look at this fact sheet on how to cope with anxiety and school. You daughter is welcome to connect with: ReachOut Peer Chat https://au.reachout.com/peerchat Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 https://kidshelpline.com.au/ Headspace https://headspace.org.au/ Also, have you ever discussed your concerns with your doctor? This might be worth doing if you haven't already - just to get a bit of guidance? We look forward to hearing how you go and whether you are able to get any supports in place for your daughter.

Chloe-RO · ‎05-21-2023

Dear @sunset1 , I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is being bullied. It must be so hard to watch your daughter feeling down each day, knowing she is finding school so difficult. Firstly, does the school know your daughter has ASD? If they do, they may be able to put some extra supports in place whether they be whole-school approaches or small group approaches. Secondly, does your daughter have supports in place such as an individual learning plan, supports from the wellbeing team or co-ordinator? These may include social goals. It would be good if your daughter has someone to speak to or a place to go when she feels it is too much. There are definitely ways she can be supported. I hear your stress, and I read of your daughter's distress. We will be waiting to hear back from you.

Date Registered	‎01-25-2023 02:30 PM
Date Last Visited	‎12-01-2023 12:47 AM
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Date Last Visited	‎12-01-2023 12:47 AM

About Chloe-RO

About Chloe-RO

About Chloe-RO

Re: Self harm and stealing

Re: StepDaughter acting out

Re: Kick start Family Therapy

Re: Isolated and borken hearted

Re: 15 year old disengaged from school

Re: HELP! At a loss and super worried.

Re: Teenage brothers constant fighting

Re: Teenage brothers constant fighting

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: HELP! At a loss and super worried.

Re: Been ordered back into the office

Re: 17 year old

Re: Expecting 1st time single dad

Re: My 12 year old daughter wants to get adopted w...

Re: Drug induced psychosis

Re: Drug induced psychosis

Re: Is it time for tough love?

Re: Breakup due to son having Autism

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: School Refusal

Re: Missing money in our wallets

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: Separation anxiety

Re: "Parenting Challenges: Limited Contact with my...

Re: OCD and Anxiety in 15 yr old boy

Re: TW : teen girl - off the rails

Re: New member Mishy

Re: Asd and friends