Hi there @aaaaaaaa1 , The regular ReachOut team will be with you shortly after the weekend to answer your question.  Cheers ... View more

Good on you for being ready to chip away at it @Squivvel . It may take some time, but fingers crossed, your son will come around to it and realise it is okay to reach out for help. We look forward to hearing how things go. Remember to also focus on your own mental health. Have you tried the Smiling Mind app? I do believe it is evidence-based and many find it quite helpful. ... View more

Hi there @Squivvel , You definitely are not alone in this. Teenagers at 18 years of age borderline teenagehood and adulthood. It really can be quite scary to go into a world of independence and the 'unknown'. Hence, it may be adding to the stress of it all.  Sometimes, people cannot even pinpoint the reason for suicidal thoughts to be triggered. At times, it may even be more distressing to think that something must have triggered the thoughts, and if not, then something must be 'wrong'. Others may be supported through this by likening thoughts to the weather. The weather is allowed to come and go. Sometimes it's sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes rainy. If we wait long enough, the weather will change. For is, perhaps it's more about looking at weather (thoughts) through a 'curious' lens. That is, neither judging them to be 'good' or 'bad', but rather, letting them come and go.  Above all, ultimately it is for your son to decide whether he wants things to change or remain as they are - otherwise, it's like "leading a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." Change can be scary. Change can be hard. Change can be painful - just as growing pains are. Yet without the pain, there is limited/no growth. At the same time, for yourself, you have the added pressures of being a deputy principal. That in itself can throw many unexpected challenges your way. It is important you remember your own self-care and reachout to relevant support services e.g. Employee Assistance Program. We look forward to hearing how things go. ... View more

Hi there @Squivvel , Firstly, Welcome to the ReachOut Parents forum! Thank you for reaching out and sharing what has been happening for you and your son. It must be so difficult to hear and watch your son struggle with suicidal thoughts, yet not be able to help him.  It sounds like you have a very close relationship with your son in that he confides in you about how he is feeling. From reading your post, it really sounds like he could do with some support and connection. Do you think he would be willing to start with perhaps Telehealth services whereby you make a warm referral? Or if he agrees, you be on the line at the same time as he is (support person) - even to start off with until he is more comfortable? While some prefer face-to-face appointments, others have found Telehealth very helpful in that there is a 'barrier' of not being have to be in the same room as the other person.  Some also find Webchats preferable to talking. Depending on the age of your son, he may be able to utilise ReachOut's youth services e.g. Peer Chat, Youth Forums ; Headspace  Otherwise, if he wants to talk through some of these suicidal thoughts, he may want to contact Lifeline (webchat, sms texting, phone) ; Beyond Blue We hear he is reluctant to reach out. However, with so many multi-modal options, he may find just one that works? It is probably also important that he feels empowered to make the decision to better himself. It may be just providing him with a few options, say 2, then leaving them with him to decide whether he wants to contact them, ask you to help him contact them, or wait until he's ready. Sometimes a gentle question, "Do you want things to change?" may be the ultimate question to help him make the first move. At the same time, we also want to acknowledge everything you are doing to support your son. We hope you have also found ways to be supported. ... View more

Please know you are not alone @Worriedmun . You are doing what you can that that's what's most important. We hear that it is tough right now and at times you feel flat and empty. It sounds like your daughter is aware of your struggles and is therefore able to check-in with you regularly. If it's a few tears when you give her a hug, please know that's okay. As for your painting workshop, would focusing on the techniques be some sort of a mindfulness activity for you? Otherwise, would allowing yourself to be free with any stroke be of any help? Sorry, you can probably tell I'm not a painter whatsoever! Please take care. And yes, when you have a chance, you can have a peep at some of the resources that have been posted.   ... View more

Hi there @GuardianFoLife ,   It certainly sounds like it is incredibly tough knowing your child 'cant control his sounds and outbursts'. It's not that he doesn't want to, he just can't! Hearing you from this side :) You are not alone. It often takes times to find the 'right' medication. And then again, depending on what's happening, this 'right' medication and dosage can change. e.g. growth spurt, added stress, transitions etc. It is definitely good to let your prescribing doctor know what you are noticing. It will help find what's right for your dear one. It may take a bit of time, but with persistence and patience, you will soon have your 7 year old back. There's such a huge range of medications out there. Also, you may want to contact HealthDirect for some advice https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/  There IS hope. Just hold on :)   ... View more

Hi there @Worriedmun , We hear that you worry so much about your daughter and that your daughter did see her friend. In all this, were you able to do something pleasant for yourself? It was so sweet that your daughter brought you flowers. It shows she really does love you. It sounds like work does give your daughter structure, responsibility and and perhaps independence in a safe space? Would you say so? For now, let's look at the progress that's been made. It will help you to keep going. ... View more

Hi there @Parenting75 , Thank you for reaching out to the community here.  After reading you post, we're wondering if your son's doctor is aware of what is happening as the intrusive thoughts may be affecting his behaviour? He may need a little more help at this moment. We're also wondering if you would be interesting in reading https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/mental-health/getting-help-for-teenagers Teenage-hood can be challenging for any teenager and their parents. Yet there IS help out there. As much as we want to say that teenagers do go through an emotional rollercoaster, it is also not okay that you feel frightened by it.  If in danger, you may need the assistance of police who may be able to have a chat to your son. Would this be an option? Please take care ... View more

Hey there @Mcath , Sounds like a stressful time. Do either your son or his girlfriend go to school? Is your son's girlfriend's family aware of the arrangements? Seeing it is your home, it is important you feel comfortable with what is about to happen. Have you sat down with both and talked to them about other alternatives? e.g. that she can visit but maybe not move in yet? OR, if she is definitely moving in, are there boundaries and house rules she will need to follow? e.g. time to be at home, helping with cleaning, cooking etc. This is a huge step for all parties involved. In saying that, how does the 14 year old feel about it? We're wondering if some of this questions can be answered before making a decision? ... View more

Hey @terrykrobertson ,   Thank you for sharing what is happening for you at the moment. It seems that the issue of phones is an issue many parents are facing. Some parents have given up on 'nagging' their kids about their phones.   The key is balance. Neither putting strict rules around phones, nor giving them endless time. Depending on the age of your children, it may be about setting limits and adding parental locks. However, if they are older, this will not go down well.   In many ways, phones have become kids' lifeline. It is a connection to the world and what is happening. Understanding the world we live in and that this younger generation have become digital 'natives' may mean there is only so much a parent can do.   Conversely, one of the healthiest ways of supporting your child through his is to model healthy habits. Consider how much time you are on the phone and model getting out, talking to people etc. Getting kids off phones becomes a family affair. For example, if you take the kids camping, there could be a no-phone policy during certain times of the day.   It's a tough one. We wish you all the best as you navigate this. ... View more

Hi @Worriedmun ,   Thank you for sharing what has been happening lately. You have every right to worry about your daughter. It sounds like you have tried speaking to your daughter. Do you think your daughter is aware of your worries and anxieties? As much as you've probably warned her in love, sometimes, letting them know you are worried by clearly stating it, may have a deeper impact. e.g. "I feel very worried when you go to the gym late at night because..." As part of children growing up and leaving the nest, these worries as parents are only natural. Keep talking to her. Not at her. Let her know you want the best for her. Is is important that you continue reaching out so that you feel supported at this time. ... View more

@Mumof2girls_ ,   It sounds so incredibly tough to see your children not only lie to you but to also dabble with unlawful activity.    Teenage-hood is a very trying time for both parents and children. Teenagers often test boundaries, and sometimes, the more parents resist, the further teenagers push.   Since finding these vidoes etc, have you directly been open and transparent about it? That is, to have a sit down conversation with each of them? This conversation may also mean you let them know you have seen their phone.   These conversations can be tough. However, it may guide you to know what to do next. Sometimes, linking into with police youth services can be helpful.   Looking forward to hearing how things go. ... View more

Hi @Wonder-and-Woe ,   Welcome to the forums! Thank you for sharing a little about yourself with the ReachOut community.   It sure does sound like it can be a lot!    Do you make time for self-care so that you can better manage everything? Say, meditation, going for walks, exercise?   See you around on the forums! ... View more

Dear @Bellalight ,   It sounds like just a difficult situation for all to be in. This can have significant impact on all involved, especially the children.    Above all, do you have supports in place for your own self-care? As you mentioned, you fell 'burnt out'. This 'battle' can really drawn one of all energy. It is important there are supports in place for yourself.    We look forward to hearing from you. ... View more

Hi @Worriedmun , Sounds like you have made efforts to find supports for your daughter. Teenagehood moving to early adulthood can be a time of mixed emotions. There are life choices which need to be made and at times, it can be very trying for all. It seems that the anger is directed at those she is closest to. Unfortunately, this can been seen in many children. It can be often said that, "children behave worse for their parents"....why? because they are comfortable to show their true self - they are not there to have to please you. It's a great first step in seeking support for your daughter. Another thing, have you sough support for yourself? for example, seeing a counsellor/psychologist etc for your own need as a parent? You may find this helpful and an opportunity to share these concerns. Another important point is healthy boundary setting. When your daughter is calm, perhaps have a discussion about what works and doesn't work for both?  Hope this helps! ... View more

Hey @Tashlyn , We're sorry to hear about your son's school refusal. This can be so challenging for parents, carers and families. Have you spoken to the school about this? Perhaps they can implement an engagment programs for him whereby he attends for shorter hours to start off with? Then, at school, perhaps the welfare co-ordinators, school psychologist etc can have a chat to him? It is also important to understand the reason behind school refusal. Is it the difficulty of the work? Is it friendship related? Is it because of the early starts? Having insight into this may guide you in how to approach this issue. All the best.   ... View more

Dear @Phiona27 , Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is important for the community to realise the importance of setting healthy boundaries, particularly for those with BPD. It sounds like as much as it hurts to cut ties, you have realised the abuse could no longer continue. Abuse in anyway is never acceptable. I'm hearing how tough it must have been to watch your child take the road that she has. Carer fatigue is only so real when it comes to caring for someone with BPD. The continual hyper-vigilance can certainly take its toll. One thing to remember though, those with BPD are very emotionally sensitive. Whatever has happened, she will NEVER forget that you are her parent and what you have done for her. Stay strong! Stay True! Stay hoping! ... View more