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Adult daughter

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Adult daughter

Hi all. Im after some advice please. I have a 23 yr old daughter who is an only child. We had a huge arguement over something so small which has turned into me kicking her out of my house. Alot of mean words were exchanged in the heat of the arguement. The disrespect from her was heartbreaking. She has a baby with another one on the way and a fiance. I feel like my life has come to an end as now we won't be spending the first Christmas with our grandchild. I dont know how to fix it. There's alot more to the story but basically a summary of what happened. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Re: Adult daughter

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Hi @Monica76,


That sounds like a really tough situation, and I can understand why you would be feeling so lost and hurt about everything that's happened. It sounds like that you and your daughter have a complicated relationship, and emotions can run really high during the holidays, as well.


I'm sure that there are a lot of different factors involved in this, but maybe a place to start is to think about how you would like for things to be different with your daughter e.g. whether you would like for her to apologize and whether you feel like you need to (this is a really good article on apologies), and what you think your daughter would want for you to do, as well. Something that can also be important is sitting down and trying to understand the situation from your daughter's perspective and how she would be feeling and thinking, even if you don't agree with her viewpoint or her actions. Writing a letter expressing your feelings, whether it is a letter just for you to read or to send to someone else, can also be a way to try and make sense of all these emotions, and get some clarity.


Lastly,  you might also consider talking to a therapist or a counsellor about what's been going on; a lot of people find that having a neutral party to talk to can also be really helpful in trying to find a way forward.