Am I being unreasonable?

[Mum-of-6]

My sister-in-law has asked my 19 year son for what I see is a big commitment.
Can I ask for some advice?

I am a Mum of six. 19,15,14,9,2.5 and 1.5 years old.

Their Dad works out of town so I have my hands full. My eldest son is 19 he works during the weekdays as a teacher aid at the same school as my 15 and 14 year olds and he also works shifts on weekends(sat/sun) he also plays semi professional sport and trains 3 days a week and he also does part time Uni studies aiming for 2 degrees.

He provides support to his siblings as he drives them to and from school because they attend the school he works at.
It’s a big help
Because I have an 18month old baby and a 2.5 year old toddler who is autistic.

My sister In-law has decided to relocate her 15 year old son from the country to the same town as us.. he lives with her sister and has asked my son to pick her son up in the mornings and take him to school as well as drop him off after school as well as take him to and form his footy training 4 days per week.

She hasn’t consulted with me or my kids Dad(her brother) before asking our son.

Am I over being unreasonable ? But I feel she is being disrespectful in not considering out family unit especially my sons commitments.

I need advice.

[Janine-RO]

Hi @Mum-of-6 , 

I can completely understand why you'd be feeling that way - it sounds like your son already has a lot on his plate (and sounds like an incredible person who you must be very proud of!), and the assumption that he'd be able to take on more must feel quite frustrating. How does your son feel about it? 

I'm also wondering if there might be alternative transport options for your nephew, is there public transport available, or is he able to walk or cycle to school? Depending on the distances involved, I wouldn't think that it's unreasonable for a 15 year old to make their own way to school. Will your nephew be attending the same school as your older kids? 

How does your husband feel about his sister's expectations?