My 12yo son is very much a homebody...

[sorrentosmurf]

My 12 year old son is very much a homebody.  His father says he is a "mumma's boy" and to an extent I guess that is correct.  We separated when he was just a toddler although I have made it a point to keep a strong friendship with him for our sons sake.  Even though this is the case, it has always been mainly just the two of us so naturally there was a strong bond made between the two of us.  He had a small group of friends in primary school and unfortunately only a couple of those have gone to his new high school with him.  He rarely goes to friends houses or have them come to ours.  He is just as happy sitting in his room playing playstation , his computer or watching movies.  Every time I try to get him interested in going to his friends or joining a local group just to get out of the house nothing happens.  Anyone having similar problems or does anyone have any suggestions for me?  I would love to hear them.

[Erin-RO]

Hi @sorrentosmurf thank you for posting your story. Transitioning to high school can be a difficult time, particularly regarding to our friendships and finding our place in our new environment. Can I ask when he's playing his playstation or computer games are these multiplayer games? I just wonder if he may have found some online friends that he enjoys spending time with?

With regards to getting him out of the house, this can be difficult with adolescents, especially when so much of their lives is lived online! Perhaps (if you don't know already) it might be worth asking him about what games he is playing? There are quite a few conventions or games based events out there 

[sorrentosmurf]

Thank you very much for the quick response.  In regards to the playstation they are single player games however the computer (Clash of Clans) is a multiplayer and this is generally how he stays in contact with his best friend from primary who is now attending a different school.

[Erin-RO]

It's good that he's staying in touch with his primary school best friend @sorrentosmurf and hopefully with time he makes some more social connections at school. Outside of school I guess it's just gentle encouraging his interests so he can find like minded friends.

Hopefully some parent's out there have some strategies for you that might help  

@taokat @Zoesplace @sunflowermom 

[taokat]

Hey @sorrentosmurf, I think it's lovely that you and your son have such a strong bond. He's very lucky 

My daughter spends a lot of time on her own doing the same things as your son. She has online friends that she plays x-box games with, and although she doesn't see her couple of friends very often, she does communicate online with them. I'm hoping this year she'll make more friends and spend more time doing things with them, but I know she'll go at her own pace. 

Has your son always been a homebody or is this something relatively new? 

[sunflowermom]

Hi @sorrentosmurf

My 14 year old daughter is a home body too.

  I do make her run errands with me to get out of the house.  We live out of town and it can be very isolating.  Now she is not attending school either due to depression and anxiety. she has a friend stay for the night once or twice a month

I was a single mom back in my previous life raising a son ( now he is 27 and married, time flies)  he got more interaction out of spring time sports and Karate at one point. Is there maybe a sport or activity you could talk your son into trying?  Hopefully though he comes out of his room sometimes to watch TV with you or play a card game.  I only say that because being too alone in your room all the time might lead to some depression?  Not saying that to scare you, just to give you something to watch out for.