Taking to Teen Son about Hygiene

[1SingleMom]

I am a widow with three kids, including one son. My husband passed away when our son was 3, and now he is 16. He has never had a man to have discussions about his **bleep**, and I think I have nervously avoided an important talk. Like his father, my son is not circumcised. I like to assume if he has had any issues, that he would talk to me or maybe a friend, but I have always been afraid to ask because, as a mother, I am not sure how he would react. My husband had told me that when he was 20 he had a to have a procedure where they removed his frenulum because it was too short and he could not retract his foreskin. He did this instead of getting circumcised. Before he gets any older I feel like I should ask my son if he can retract his foreskin and if he has any questions about cleaning because if he does then we can see a doctor. Can anyone offer an opinion on how or even if I should talk to him about this?

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @1SingleMom,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for making your first post! It takes a lot of courage to come online to talk to other parents, and we really appreciate you reaching out!

I am really sorry to hear your husband passed away a few years ago- I can imagine that must have been hard for your family  

Talking to kids about puberty, changes to their body and general sexual health can be a really challenging conversation to start. That being said, I would agree with you that this is a really important conversation to have with your son to ensure that he is healthy and understands it is okay to talk about any concerns he may be having with his body and hygiene.

For a lot of young people, starting a conversation about puberty or changes to their body might be challenging, so meeting him halfway and opening the discussion so he knows he can talk to you might be a good place to start. Does he have any other male role models in his life who he might be able to turn to for these conversations as well?

Another option you could access is to take him to the doctor for a check up, and have the GP first start this discussion. Many GPs will have a discussion with young people explaining the changes their bodies are going through, and help them look out for signs of any issues in their development. This might be a way to broach the discussion and build your son's understanding of some of the health implications he may have as he gets older and what to look out for. 

What are your thoughts? If you were to to talk with your son about his reproductive health, have you thought about how you would start this conversation?