how to respond to daughter not wanting to live at home

[mumtoma]

My 14 year old daughter moves between 2 households in the same suburb - her and her father and my household which has my partner and her two younger half siblings (6 and 3). Her father "kicked her out" last week (he has done this twice before in the last 12 months when they fought) and she has been staying at a friend's house since as I was away at the time. She is now saying she hates both households and does not want to come home or live at either house but at friend's houses. In my opinion this is not an option, she is 14 and needs to be living with family especially during school term. I have told her this but she is adamant. I will be seeing her tomorrow and I am not sure how I go about setting and maintaining this boundary without it deteriorating into an awful fight  as I cannot physically keep restrain her in the house. How hard do I push the limit ? How can I show her that she is loved and although she needs her independence she still needs guidance and support too.  She says she needs "a break" from both households but she has had 10 days away from both already.  Any thoughts appreciated

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @mumtoma, welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing that with all of us here. This sounds like such a very difficult and heart-breaking issue for your family I am wondering whether you have had a chance to speak to the parents of the household she is staying at? As you said, it is important for her to be at home but it is great that there is still somewhere that she feels comfortable to stay at. Is there any reason why she does not want to return home? You could always have a chat to Parentline, they are an amazing resource Sometimes it helps to be able to chat it out over the phone. You could also chat to the local police station for support, although they may have limited advice.