Dad support

[D-Rock]

Hi All, I'mm looking for support from fellow fathers and anyone else who can help.  I'm a married 35 year old dad with a 3 year old boy and expecting number 2 at the end of the year.  My issue is that I simply don't know how to to dad and husband.  I treat my wife and son like gold which my wife is absolutely grateful for but I constantly overdo it and exhaust myself and end most days with anxiety and stress.  All of the dad's I know are rude to their wives and put themselves first neglecting their kids and it bothers me that they seem the happiest.

While working from home last year I started taking my son for drives at 6am (he's up by 5 most days) and come home with no time for a shower and breakfast so I start the day with anxiety.  When I finish at 4:30 I take him out again and usually exhausted when I get home.  I do this to give my wife time and she's told me I don't have to but I just want to help and not be like my other friends who neglect their families.  I want to help my family but I've neglected myself to the point of nothing makes me happy anymore, I find life just routine and don't enjoy living anymore and I can't remember the last time anything excited me.

[Janine-RO]

Hi @D-Rock ,

You sound like such a switched on and loving dad, and I can hear how much you want to be a great dad and partner- parenting small kids is exhausting, and I can completely understand why you'd be feeling drained (I also have a very early waking small child and I feel you on the exhaustion there!). Finding the right balance between looking after ourselves and being a present and loving parent can be so hard, but it's also really important to look after yourself. 

Our service is mainly for parents of kids aged 12-18 but I did find some support services for dads that look like they could be helpful: 

Dads Group  is all about connecting Aussie dads, they run in person and online groups for Dads to catch up with their kids

This page has a list of different support services for dads across Australia

Mensline is another great, free service that offers support and counselling as well as heaps of information on different services around for men

I hope some of this helps, I hope that some other dads in the community will also jump in. I can hear how much you want to do better than other people in your life who don't make time for their families, and I think that is huge- and something that will mean so much to your family in the years to come. But it's also OK to take time for yourself, and the things that make you happy.