Toddler, Preschooler, Marriage and completely overwhelmed

[WearyDad]

Hello everyone. It is not my usual approach to reach out, but it is absolutely needed and I am grateful to have found this site. I am barely treading water. I have with a 1.5 year old, soon to be 4 year old and a marriage that is completely covered up by the demands of raising kids. Both my wife and I work full time and seem to have little to no time to connect anymore. All I hear from parents with older kids is “Enjoy it because it doesn’t last long”. Such a disconnect from how I feel about it. All my free time is given to my kids, my marriage seems more like a domestic partnership and the stress to manage it all, as well as my own business, has me at the end myself. At the end of the day, I can’t help to feel like I just want to be left alone. I’m struggling here and pray someone has something to say outside of conventional wisdom.

[Iona_RO]

Hi @WearyDad 

Thanks for sharing with us and reaching out for some support. It sounds like things are feeling very overwhelming for you at the moment, which I can very much understand. Although it may seem like you're the only one going through this, I think many parents find themselves in a similar situation. You're not alone.

I'm wondering if you've been able to chat to your wife about how you're feeling? Do you think she is feeling similarly? 

We are an Australian-based service, so are limited in the referrals we can provide as it looks like you're in the US. But it could be an idea to get in touch with your local relationships support service. They may be able to help you figure out some strategies to improve your current family and marriage situation.

I'm also wondering if you have many connections with other dads? It's important to have time to connect with friends and share how you're feeling with others who understand. Do you know if there are any local men's groups or dad meet-ups you could make some time for?