Discussion forum for parents in Australia
03-22-2019 12:58 AM - edited 03-22-2019 12:59 AM
03-22-2019 06:48 PM
Hi @Mummabear1
I had something similar with my daughter when she was around a similar age.
Friends would come and have a quiet concerned word about how my daughter was not joining in with the others.
I spoke with her and she said she was happy going to the library and reading a book during lunch or helping our the librarian.
I was concerned as I am quite social and more an extravert than introvert.
Thing to realise here is there is quite a range of what is normally and healthy.
Extraverts are always worried the introverts are missing out or being excluded when the introvert is just enjoying the quite time.
As long as your daughter is capable of good social interactions when required (and they will be as she moves through the education system and into work) her choosing to be less social shouldn't be a problem
If
that is when you might need to see if you help her develop the skills.
Have you asked your daughter how she feels about it?
What is the feedback you get from her, her teacher and other parents about when your daughter does interact.
Today my daughter has grown into a confident, intelligent and caring young woman who still prefers a good book the company of most people. That is what makes her happy.
I still try to arrange things so her few friends can be accommodated and try to get her to go out.
She smiles at me and lets me know she is happy and goes back to enjoying the peace and quiet she so loves.
Let us know you go.
03-22-2019 08:51 PM - edited 03-22-2019 08:52 PM
03-22-2019 09:03 PM
03-25-2019 03:31 PM - edited 03-25-2019 03:31 PM
Hi @Mummabear1
I can imagine it would be heartbreaking to hear from your daughter that she is feeling lonely Seconding @PapaBill's question, is your daughter involved in any hobby groups/clubs/sport or other where she is meeting new people?
You mentioned that she has a small group of friends at school, how does she find this group? Does she feel comfortable to be herself?
10 is such a tough age with so much turbulent change in friendships as young people continue to grow and develop their personalities and social experiences. Your daughter's honesty is definitely something that will be an asset to her in later life.
I also wanted to link you a few of our resources- they are geared at teens but there may be some takeaway messages that would apply to under 12s too. We have an article about how parents can help teens make friends, teens and great friendships and a resource on how to help your teen be a good friend. Is there anything from these resources that might be helpful for you and your daughter?
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