Should I tell my teen her estranged father passed away in the middle of her final exams

[SAmom]

My daughter is 18 and writing her final exams.

She has not seen her father for years and they have no relationship, although we have kept in touch with the rest of his family. He has been living in a facility where he received help since he has had to job and had issues with substance abuse. His family is not going to have a funeral.

She is a high achiever, she is very focussed on getting very high marks and very sensitive.

I don't know if I should tell her now or wait for the end of her exams - her exams are starting on Monday and only finishing in December. I know she will be upset about not telling her, but that is fine, I just don't know the impact the news on her will have.

I also need to tell my son, but I will have to tell them together.

[Blake-RO]

Hi @SAmom 

Thank you so much for sharing this with us and for reaching out for some support. I can tell how much you care about your children and want the best for them - they are very lucky to have you.

I’m sorry that you have been experiencing this. It is understandable how difficult this decision must be for you and you shouldn’t have to make it alone. I was wondering what supports you had and whether you had any family or professional support that you could speak to about this? If so, are you able to get some support in making this decision?

Whilst we can’t help you make this decision, I wanted to provide a thread from another community member who was in a similar situation that I thought could be helpful.

I know that you mentioned that there wasn’t going to be a funeral and was wondering if you could still do something with your children to honour his death? I also wanted to include an article around the grief of losing a parent that I thought could be helpful to have a read through.