Teen engaging in criminal activities

[TiredMumof4]

Unfortunately, after a couple of good weeks over Christmas my son has breached his bail conditions twice in the last two weeks and is currently MIA again. I expect this time when he is brought before the judge, they are not going to be so lenient and forgiving and he’ll find himself in youth detention until his current charges are brought before the court.

I’m looking for some resources I can use to help me have the conversation with my 7yo about what is going on with her brother- particularly if he is going to be in youth detention for an extended period of time. Hoping to minimise the impact on her moving forward.

Does anyone have any good websites or resources they could recommend to help?

[Portia_RO]

Hi @TiredMumof4 , I'm very sorry to hear about your son - it sounds incredibly stressful not knowing where he is and anticipating the legal consequences of his actions. I hope that you are looking after yourself during this time of uncertainty. 

As for resources, Shine for Kids put together this guide for supporting children with a parent or loved one in prison, which might help you to support your daughter. Towards the back, there is a list of support services for families who have been touched by the criminal justice system for each state as well. It can be so difficult to explain such adult concepts like bail and detention to kids - does your 7-year-old ask many questions about what is going on with her brother?

Thinking of you in this difficult time @TiredMumof4 

[Me-me]

Hi tired mum,
I feel like I’m reading my own situation. I too have 4 kids- youngest 7 oldest 25 -middle is 21 and my teen 15
It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions - feeling frustrated, heartbroken, angry and everything else in between.
My teen is currently doing the exact same thing -
Running off, breaching bail etc…
Bail will be revoked soon- he will be remanded in custody.

How are you travelling now?
How is your son?

[TiredMumof4]

Hi Me-me
Roller coaster is the perfect way to describe the last few months for us as well ! He is currently out on bail after spending about 4 months in youth detention including his 16th birthday as I refused to take him home as his risk taking was increasing. He lost a friend while he was in there who was killed in a stolen car, but that has had little impact. He is still breaching bail on a daily basis by not charging his tracker and not following his curfew, the only upside is atleast he is coming home most days and not being MIA completely. He is still caught up with his friends and trying to impress them by doing stupid stuff. He isn’t interested in making better choices yet.
It’s so hard because there is such a demand for support services and huge wait lists so I’m trying to get him involved in positive activity but it’s hard while we wait for the services.
It’s just day by day at the moment which is absolutely exhausting!
It’s so sad that all the good from the first 15 years of his life is over shadowed by the poor choices of the last 12-18months.
I hope that at some point something clicks for him and we can get him back on track- but it’s just a waiting game until he is willing.
I hope that things with your son improves, just hang in there.