runaway child wants to move in with partners family

[NeedHelpPLZ]

My child (15.5) has runaway twice in the past few months. They now state they wish to live with their partner and their family. My child has been engaging in risky behaviour (shop lifting, graffiti, lies, sneaks out, vapes, possible drug use as well as selling/buying) and is verbally abusive towards us and their siblings.

Whilst it is not what we want, as a family with other children, we need to look after all our needs not just one persons. So we are allowing it.

We need to know what our rights and responsibilies are in regards to their care whilst not in our home. They have a job and some savings. They have said they will continue to work and commute to their current school (which we will continue to pay school needs).

The family that they want to live with, i believe, isn't a great family. I do not have any relationship with them, the "mother" does not answer calls or text messages. She also lied to the police and us and hid our child from us for 24 hours.

Any advice or suggestions, links to articles or numbers to call would be most appreciated.

[Kathleen_RO]

Hi @NeedhelpPlz

Thank you for sharing - it sounds like you have so much love for your child and want the very best for them. You've been extremely supportive in their decision to let them leave home and for a young person, that can make a huge difference in how they feel within the world. It might even make your relationship stronger down the track. 

As parents, it can be so hard to know what to do - there's no rulebook! AND when your kid hurts, you hurt. Please know that you're doing a fantastic job.

I wonder, have you considered seeking support from a family therapist? Or, perhaps, just one for yourself? They may be able to offer more specific advice or suggestions to help you manage the situation and your feelings . We also have a one-on-one support service for parents which you can register for here. 

Please keep us updated on how the situation unfolds. 

We are here for you. 

[Bre-RO]

Hi @NeedHelpPLZ  

I hope it's okay that I chime in here with some referrals to support services that might be helpful to you right now. 

The Family Relationship Advice Line could be good to call. You can contact them on 1800 050 321 for advice and further referrals to local services. I hope they can give you information regarding your rights and responsibilities. 

I can only imagine how tough this situation is on you and your family. If there is anything we can do to support you, please let us know. 

[michaljonny]

Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how hard it can be to try to find your child. First things first, you need to talk to the child and let them know they can talk to you. If they are minors they are able to make their own choices, but they have to have the right information in order to make the best choice. You could also talk to a lawyer about having the parents file a runaway petition. If anyone has any information or sees the child, please contact the authorities immediately.

[charliebear]

kids always think the grass is greener on the other side. It won’t be long before she realises how good she had it at home and the other children deserve a break from the stress so do you parents
Your child will get Austudy /abstudy while she is still going to school but not living at home so she can/could pay for everything out of that and see how it doesn’t go far especially when the other mother chargers her board money when they leave home on their own accord it’s up to them to make ends meet the other mother will probably claim Centrelink for your child but you won’t have to pay child support