Hi there @Kmum8 and @Mez21    I'm glad you've been able to find each other here and see that you're not alone with the heartbreaking time you're both experiencing with your daughters.    In saying that, I can see you're both feeling at your wit's end, and I think any parent in your shoes would feel the same way. To bear witness to such massive changes in your teen is confronting, to say the least.    What is very clear to see here is that you both care deeply for your girls and are trying your best to do what is right for them under incredibly challenging circumstances. I can imagine it feels like an uphill battle, but I believe that being a consistent, loving presence in your teen's life does make a difference, even if it doesn't always feel like it.    If you feel comfortable sharing, I am wondering if the two of you have a strong support network for yourselves at the moment? Family, friends or even a counsellor?    We'd be happy to send through some family support resources if you think that might be helpful. In addition, we do offer a free 1:1 parent support service that you can register for here if you're interested.    In the meantime, we are always here for you to rant to, and that's something you never have to make apologies for!  ... View more

Hi there @Billybluenose12    It sounds like your family have been going through an incredibly difficult time. I can imagine being apart due to work and border closures is tough on you all. How are you and your family coping with it all?    I'm sorry to hear that your son has been struggling. It sounds like you and your wife have tried your best to support him by connecting with the school and a counsellor. You mentioned that your son goes off the rails, and I was hoping to better understand what that looks like for him.   Do you feel comfortable sharing some more about that?    I also wanted to let you know that I edited some of your post so that it aligns with our community guidelines, which you can read here. We provide peer support and mental health support here, but we steer clear from diagnosing. Chatting with a GP about your concerns might be a good first step if you have questions about a diagnosis.  ... View more

Hi there @MVA50    Thank you for reaching out to our online community about your sons ADHD diagnosis. It can be a lot to process when your child receives a new diagnosis. How are you and your child feeling about the news?    I'm happy to see you've had another parent share what worked for them. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, it was helpful to chat with others who had been through it too.   One piece of advice I received was that every person reacts differently to medication and doses. That alone was helpful for me and allowed me to find what works for me with the support of my doctor.   ADHD Support Australia might be a helpful website to check out as well - they provide resources and workshops for parents.  ... View more

Hi there @JB700    It's not good to hear that things have got a lot worse. I hope the one-on-one support service is helpful - it sounds like it would be a relief to chat with someone about how this situation is impacting yourself and your daughter.    I agree that parents come here to vent and seek support - please feel free to continue sharing what is going on for you if it helps.    The hurt you are going through is something I know other parents here would relate to. As you said it goes against your parental instinct to step back. Can I ask if you have a support network around you at this time?    I also wanted to let you know that I made an edit to your post in line with our community guidelines. If you have any questions at all feel free to ask.  ... View more

Hi @jaq021404 I'm glad we can support you through this, and I'm really feeling for your family.    You sound like a loving father, and while your son mightn't know how to communicate how he feels right now, I'm sure your presence brings him comfort in this time.    I'll share some digital mental health services that your son might find helpful while waiting for an appointment.   We have a mental health forum for young people which you can check out here. Head to Health is a portal for digital mental health services. They have a page here on support for young people (age 12-18 years).  BeyondBlue and Headspace both have online forums and chat services too.    Feel free to let us know how you go with those organisations, and please reach out whenever you need.  ... View more

This sound like a heart-wrenching position to be in @JB700 thank you for opening up about it and asking what you can do to connect. It’s clear that you’re a caring parent and are doing everything in your power to remain present in your daughter’s life.    We have a bunch of content about how to navigate family conflict which you might find helpful to take a look at. This page has videos and articles on how to support your teen through family conflict. We also have a one-on-one support service for parents which you can register for here .    I’m wondering if you have legal advice during this time? If not we’d be happy to send through some resources for you to look at it if you think that would be helpful.   Let us know if there's anything more we can do to support you through this tough time. ... View more

Hi there @jaq021404    Thank you for sharing what is happening for your family at the moment. Times of grief can be so hard to navigate, especially when everyone's experience of it is so different. I can imagine it would be hard to see your son's going through such a heart-breaking time and noticing their distance.    After reading your post I felt it was important to acknowledge your compassionate and proactive approach to your son's mental health. It sounds like you're ensuring all the right support people are involved. While it must be difficult not knowing what was discussed with the GP it sounds like your son did open up enough to get the referral to the psych.    Wait-lists are tough, and we've noted lots of parents sharing similar concerns, especially during covid. In the meantime, I wonder if your son would feel comfortable getting support on a digital mental health space?    You mentioned he spends a lot of time gaming and reaching out to mental health services in a digital space is often helpful for young people, especially when waiting for face-to-face supports to come through. If you think this is worth looking at we'd be more than happy to send through some resources.    One organisation I thought might be helpful to your family is Feel The Magic - they provide support to young people experiencing grief. Let us know how you go with them and if you need any other suggestions or support.  ... View more

Hi @cingin13 and welcome to the Parents forum I'm  very sorry to hear that your ex-husband’s relationships have been impacting you and your daughters. It is completely understandable that you’re feeling exhausted from trying to explain his choices to your teens, particularly when his situation has been changing and evolving rather quickly.    I’m also sorry to hear about your ex’s attempts to have your eldest daughter removed from her school when she stopped maintaining close contact with him. It sounds like you are doing your very best to create stability in your daughter’s life and give her the best opportunities to succeed, but that this sense of consideration and effort is not always reciprocated by her father.   I know from what you’ve told us that only your 15-year-old daughter has a relationship with him – do you ever have concerns for her wellbeing when she is staying at her dad’s place?  You mentioned that you know that you can’t control your ex. Knowing that his behaviour might not change, is there anything that might help you to feel less frustrated and more supported while you’re attempting to navigate co-parenting with him? Is there anyone in your life that you talk to about your frustrations with him and how his behaviour impacts your daughters?    From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re doing a really great job of providing a safe space at home for your daughters to explore their feelings around their relationship with their dad and how his relationship breakdown has affected them. I hope you don’t underestimate the impact that creating this space has because having one reliable parent who is open and empathetic can make all the difference.    We’re here for you @cingin13. ... View more

Hi @amina it sounds like you are trying your best to help her get to school. It's great to hear that her school are meeting with you. It must be difficult fitting this around your work and day-to-day life.    When I was young I struggled to go to school, even though I love learning. I was struggling with my emotions and that was making it hard for me to go to school.    I can't say for sure that this is the case with your daughter, but I'm wondering if you think there could be things happening at school that are making her unhappy?    Lots of parents are going through this at the moment and we have a space here to chat with other parents if you think that would be helpful.      ... View more

Hi @John_kp I'm so sorry to hear your family are going through such a difficult time. I can imagine how distressing this would be for you and your partner.    I'm wondering if the two of you would find speaking to a counsellor or family support service helpful at this stage? If so, we'd be happy to link you in with some resources.    We empathise with the concerns you have for your daughter and have sent you an email to see how we can support your family through this when you have some time to read it.  ... View more

Hi @Happydaughter thank you for coming here to get support for your daughter. It's clear that you're a loving parent, and I believe that trumps all the challenges teen years bring. However, that's not to say that this situation wouldn't be concerning for you.    We've noticed school refusal has been an increasingly common experience for young people and their parents, so we created a dedicated space for parents going through the same thing to connect. Click through to that thread here if you're interested in having a read.    We also have some great content on school refusal:    How to help a teen who doesn't want to go to school  Learn how to tackle the school system confidently   It's really positive that you've connected your daughter with a counsellor - hopefully, those sessions will help you both understand what it is about school that is making your daughter unhappy. Do you have some good support people around you at the moment?  ... View more

Hey there, @enorman thank you for sharing this with us.    I can imagine how challenging it must be to find ways to approach your daughter with a boundary, and I know you are not alone with that.   We've heard from many parents sharing very similar concerns, and hopefully, the community can share their experiences/tips with you. We actually have some articles on boundaries and teenagers, I thought this one might be helpful to read.    Can I ask if you are well supported at the moment? If you feel like you'd benefit from chatting with a counsellor or parent support service please let us know and we'll send you some resources.      ... View more

Hey, @daysaway11 we're really happy that it was a relief to know you're not alone. We find that many step-families share similar frustrations. It's such a difficult position to be in and we want you to know there's support available.    I thought it might be helpful to share a link to our one-to-one parenting support service, you can read all about it here. We offer free sessions to get support, advice, etc on all kinds of parenting challenges.    Relationships Australia also do lots of work with step-families. If you think it would be helpful to have someone to openly share your frustrations with they would be really good to talk to.    We had a psychologist give some advice here about step-parent conflict and other people in your position have found that helpful too.    We wanted to share our community guidelines here as well and let you know that we edited parts of your post. We really value honest conversations about real-life issues that affect families and the valid emotions people feel in step-families. Our guidelines help us have those conversations in a way that promotes the well-being of young people and their parents.      ... View more

That sounds like a heartwrenching night @MotherOfOne I am so sorry your daughter and yourself are going through such a hard time. As hard as that long night sounds, I can also see that nothing has stopped you from taking active steps to get support.    I hope the youth service you found is a good fit for your daughter, how is she feeling about it?   You are always welcome to check in with us if you ever need some help with resources in the future or just a chat.    I'm glad to hear you are coping well and have good friends by your side - sounds like your daughter has a strong support network around her and that is what is most important right now.    Also, I wanted to let you know that I edited part of your post. We believe it's important to create spaces to discuss self-harm and to do this safely there are some times we make edits using our community guidelines. If you have any questions about them at all, please let us know    ... View more

Hey there @Lelsar I'm sorry to hear your teen isn't coping well at the moment. Separations are so hard on the whole family, and everyone deals with these things differently. Can I ask how you're coping with it all?    It's so challenging to know the best way to approach a teen who is clearly in pain but isn't talking. I have a few ideas to share:    It might be hard to get your teen to talk to a professional at the moment but it might be nice for you to have someone to talk to (if you don't already). We'd be happy to send you some resources if you need them.  We offer a one-on-one support service for parents. If you're interested you can read more and register here We have some content on how to talk to teenagers, this article has some tips that might help   I don't know everything about your situation or your daughter - but I believe that by being a consistent, loving presence in your teens' life, you are already doing a great job.   Even if she is angry now when she is ready to talk she will know she isn't alone and that it's safe to go to you. Let us know what you think of the ideas above and take care! ... View more

Thank you for sharing with us @DOart09I'm glad you decided to because this is actually something lots of families chat about here. You are not alone in wanting to be supportive, whilst also wrestling with your own grief.    You sound like an accepting parent and I love that you encourage individuality. I'm sure that helped your child to feel comfortable telling the world who they are.   In saying that, I can imagine how you and your daughter must feel after finding this news from other kids. Is there anyone supporting you through this? I bet it's a lot to think through.    We're here to listen and help in any way we can. There's a bunch of resources on our site about gender and teenagers - If you're interested in having a read you can check it out here.  ... View more

Hi there @Butterfly22 that sounds challenging,  navigating pre-teens in a time when technology is ever-present is a very common concern shared here by other parents.    It sounds like you've had some good discussions about alternatives to screen time and winding down in the evenings. Setting boundaries can be so hard, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go the way you hoped. I'm glad you decided to share what you're going through because you're not alone and there are some things that might help. We've got lots of articles with information and strategies that I'll link you to below.    We have a collection of content on "Technology and teenagers" which would be good to check out. One of the articles I thought you might be interested in were "Help your teenager take a break from technology".Happy reading, I hope it's helpful and that you're able to connect with other parents and hear what works for them.   Something that works for me when I'm spending too much time on screens is changing up my evenings by going to a park/beach having dinner outside, going somewhere new or trying a new hobby. Are there any activities your family enjoy doing together that could be a fun alternative to screen time?    ... View more

 Hi @MCMCM I'm so glad to hear that reading this thread gave you hope. Hope is an important thing to have when you're witnessing your daughter in so much pain. I can imagine how heart-breaking that is for you to see.   It sounds like you've connected with support services for your daughter which is great to hear. I'm wondering if you speak with a counsellor or friend about this? I hope you have a support network to carry you through this difficult time.    We'll keep an eye out for your response, we are here for you! ... View more

Hi @aprilrnga and @Kokomokiki    I just wanted to check in with you both after catching up on this thread. One thing that stood out was how similar your experiences are! It was lovely to see you supporting each other, and I can imagine it’s a relief to share your feelings and be understood openly.    The disappointment, frustration and anguish of choosing between the “lesser evil” is such a difficult challenge to wrestle with every day. All this whilst managing day-to-day responsibilities - it’s understandable that the situation is weighing very heavy.    There was mention of couples counselling. However, this wasn’t helpful due to the strategies suggested. So I’m wondering if one on one counselling is an option? It might be nice to have someones undivided attention and time to talk about how this situation is for you. I also hope that you can continue to support one another here and connect with other parents too.    There are many parents and blended families in our community, and we value having these tough conversations. Our online community is here to support the well-being of all young people and their families. The community guidelines outline how we ensure the space is helpful for everyone. Here is a link if you would like to give them a read.    We edited parts of the conversation that didn’t align with our community guidelines. However, we hope to work together as a community to discuss the experiences shared in this thread.  We created a space here for blended/stepfamilies to support each other and share ways of coping when things are tough. Feel free to check it out and share your experience there too!    Take care and hope to hear how you're both going soon.     ... View more

Hi @Elizabeth66 thank you for sharing your concerns with us. It would be hard to know how to approach the situation, especially if you're trying to avoid asking too many questions/angering her.    It sounds like this sudden change in your granddaughters nature. If she is experiencing anxiety or low moods for the first time I can imagine it would be hard for her to find the words to articulate this new experience.    It's reassuring to know she has caring guardians such as yourself and her mother ensuring she is okay. I am wondering how your daughter is coping with the situation? It must be hard for her too.   A  good first step could be to look into chatting with a counsellor to  get some support and advice on how to approach. Is that something your family would consider?    We have some great articles with tips on how to approach these conversations here if you're interested in reading. Our content is more suited to older kids and teenagers so I'll share this link which will take you to raising children's networks - they have lots of age specific information on how to help your granddaughter too.      Take care and we hope to hear back from you.    ... View more

Hi, there @keladeine thank you for sharing more about what's going on. I think it's very reasonable that you are in tears. Meeting the challenge of your son's mental health whilst navigating lockdowns/a pandemic wouldn't be easy.    You make a good point about support networks being overwhelmed at the moment. I can imagine it's something a lot of people are finding. Do you think having a counsellor to chat with would be helpful right now?    This is a great tool to use when looking for a psychologist. You can search with specifications on location, area of concern, bulk-billed etc.    Knowing how to think, feel and react to the goblins would be tricky. It sounds like the goblins are central to your sons thinking at the moment. I can understand why you'd be hesitant to encourage conversation in case it's enabling a thought pattern.    A professional could help as they are skilled in understanding those thought patterns and in responding to them. I hope that the current psych builds a relationship with you or that you find one who will work with you in supporting your son.    Let us know how you go with the parenting service if you use it and please feel free to vent your feelings whenever you need to.                  ... View more

Hi @keladeine    Thank you for deciding to share what you and your son are going through right now.  It must be heart-wrenching and concerning to see your boy struggling in this way. I wanted to ask if you have support at the moment? Be it a friend, community, relative or counsellor?    You sound like a supportive and proactive parent - getting a psychologist involved was a good idea, but I can understand why you'd be feeling unsure of what to do next given the lack of communication. So here are a few tips/ideas/links to resources that might be helpful for you right now:    If you find that you cannot get a meeting with the psych + school counsellor, exploring other support options is not a bad idea. There are so many different kinds of practitioners, therapy styles and approaches. I will send you some of our articles that go into different kinds of mental health professionals and therapies.  For example, It might be that your son clicks better with a social worker/peer worker or youth worker.  We offer a One on One support service for parents, which you can sign up for here. You'll receive four sessions with a family support service that can help you with tools/strategies/coming up with a plan.  Family support services are a good option when you want that collaborative relationship with his therapist. Ask Izzy is a great search engine for community services  - if you put in your local area and search family support, you'll be able to see what is available in your area.          I hope that info is helpful and gives you some options to consider.    You mentioned your son spoke to you about the goblins in his head, and I can imagine this was alarming for you to hear. But, firstly, I think it's positive that he told you this. It really shows that he trusts you and feels safe with you - which is invaluable for a teenager experiencing depression.              I'm not sure if you've already thought of this, but encouraging your son to discuss the goblins with his psych is a good first step. This would also be a good thing to discuss with the psych (if you can get a meeting) or a new psychologist/family support service.    Supporting a loved one with their mental health can be really confronting, but I want to assure you that your son is normal. Depression is a difficult but normal part of the human experience - and there is always hope for recovery.               Please know that you are very welcome to continue coming here to vent and get support with this situation.  We are here for you! ... View more

Hi there @Gramz    Thank you for coming to ReachOut to raise your question - it's a common one. It would be good to hear from some parents here who have been through this with their young person.    I have found some content for you to look at. Raising Children's Network has an extensive collection of resources that are really helpful. Click here to see their information on autism and sexual development - this particular article seems to cover off what you've mentioned here.    Do you have any support networks within the Autistic community? That could be one way of getting support and tips as well.    Keen to hear how you go with the links! ... View more

Hey there @Giffordm    It's so understandable that you need an outside opinion at the moment. Blending families is no an easy task and can bring out lots of different emotions/sides.    Dealing with nastiness is never easy and even less so when it's a delicate situation. Do you have any people in your life that you'd feel comfortable chatting to about this situation? It might be helpful to have someone you can vent to. Of course, you're also welcome to continue chatting about it here.    It sounds like you have a close relationship with the girls where they feel safe to tell you how they are feeling - that is so important and positive!   ... View more

Hey @danluke_36    It sounds very challenging trying to engage her but your persistent effort would be making a difference. Even if she isn't speaking, she would be able to see that you are by her side.    I understand your concerns when it comes to speaking for her. She clearly trusts you so there might be times where you do step in and other times where you might challenge her to express herself. I'm also happy to hear that you are getting some support with this too.    I am a big believer in getting different perspectives from health professionals to inform your choices. It definitely sounds worthwhile to investigate her lack of communication, just in case there is more to it.    You're doing really well! Please feel free to keep letting us know where you are at with this and we will help any way we can.  ... View more

Hi @danluke_36 as mentioned above, it sounds like you are a really solid person for this young woman. You mentioned feeling out of your depth but from what you've said so far, you are doing a really good job.   In regards to your questions:    Going into the counselling appointments might be a good idea, my only advice would be to gauge whether or not your friends daughter is comfortable with it. I know she isn't talking much so that might be hard. Maybe asking yes/no questions such as "Would you feel comfortable if I were to join you for one or two of your sessions?"    It might help open up some dialogue and will also show her how committed you are to her. My other  thought was that it  could be a good idea for you to also speak to someone - to get some support for you but also to get some tips on how to build her confidence.    I can understand why you're thinking of getting a second opinion - it definitely doesn't hurt to shop around and see what professionals say. It sounds like this young woman has had a lot of challenges to face in her life - I'm glad she has you on her side!  ... View more

Hey @AmIABadStepMom    I can sense just by reading through your post that you are a loving step-mum. The genuine care and warmth is very clear. There is nothing wrong with needing time alone or quality time spent with your husband.    I can imagine that hearing about your step sons living situation has probably contributed to feeling guilty but it's okay to have your needs as well.  ... View more

Hey there @Hermonie    Thank you  for sharing your concerns here, I can imagine that having the preschool share this with you would have been stressful. It is nice to hear that your son has a friend he feels comfortable spending time.    Many children don't easily transition into preschool/school learning environments and this can happen for a range of reasons. I'm confident that this is common but in saying this I do understand your need for support.    I have linked a service here that provide amazing content on all areas of development for children. It might be a better fit for you as our age range focuses on teenagers and young adults.    I hope you're able to find some answers and support there.  ... View more

Hi @Anonuseraz    This sounds extremely difficult for you and the whole family. I think it's really good you chose to open up about your concerns for your family and it sounds like you work really hard to ensure everyone is well and happy.    From what you're saying here it does sound like the mother of your children may be experiencing some difficulties with her mental health. Staying in bed until the late afternoon and reducing what she is able to manage around the house are two very strong signs that she could be struggling. Do you think that it might help the overall situation for your kids and you, if she was to seek out some support?    In the meantime, we are happy to chat through how this is making  you feel and some ways you might be able to approach the situation so there is a good outcome for your whole family.    I just wanted to let you know that our service is catered to young people between the ages of 12-25 years old. If your children are under that age bracket I would be happy to have a look to see what other supports may be available to you, to ensure the information is relevant to your children.    ... View more