TW : 2 Self Harming Daughters

[Worried_67]

I have two daughters, 15 and 17. The older one is experimenting with drugs and the younger one is self harming. I am absolutely terrified and feel like a complete failure as a mum.

[Worried_67]

Hi - my eldest lies and steals, which is so against the values I raised her with. She steals make up from me, and denies it. She takes clothes from her younger sister by just going into her room and helping herself. Our little family has gone from what I thought was a healthy relationship to one where there is a lack of trust. I feel like I don’t recognise her, she dropped out of college and doesn’t have a job, but she manages to have false eyelashes and expensive shampoos which I suspect she has shoplifted. She is 17 and is such a kind soul, but at the moment all she does is meet her friends, smoke weed and sometimes MDMA. Her lying these days is automatic and I’m at a loss. You are not alone in this x

[Bre-RO]

Hi there @Worried_67 

Thank you for opening up about your daughters. I can imagine it isn’t easy to type out what they are going through and much less to see them going through it. The hurt and worry you’re feeling right now must be incredibly difficult to sit with. 

It sounds like you and your daughters could use some comfort and support now. I’m curious to know what your support network looks like and if the girls have any other important adult figures you could work with to support them both? 

You mentioned feeling like you’ve failed as a parent, which must be gut-wrenching. If I can reassure you, I want you to know that many parents feel the same when witnessing their child struggling. 

The fact that you’re looking for support tells me that you’re doing your best and love your daughters very much. Have you ever considered chatting with a counsellor or psychologist about the situation and how it’s causing you to feel? 

We want to do everything we can to support you and your girls, so we’ve sent you an email to check-in. When you have some time to take a look at it, please do. Also, just a heads up that we've moved your two posts into its own thread so we can support you here.