2 weeks ago - last edited 2 weeks ago by Bre-RO
I've just found weed and cash in my 18-year-old's bedroom. I know he has been smoking weed, because when I find it I throw it out. He also vapes. He is an apprentice tradie with a really good company. They think he's fantastic. He works really hard, sometimes even working six days a week if they need him. He has a good work ethic and wants to do well in life. He's had terrible trouble with his car and it's a money pit. He wants to get rid of it, and is thinking of a loan. I'm wondering whether he thinks this is a quick fix?
He's not easy to talk to at all and will be angry that I have found his stash. We have weekly confrontations about drugs, or him coming home late, not eating dinner with us, or vaping, which is another concern. When he isn't vaping or stoned he can be charming and funny. But that is rare these days.
Nothing we say seems to get through. We need to have a calm conversation with him. Has anyone got any advice on what to say? He will presumably ask for the drugs and money back, which I don't want to do, but I don't know if he owes anyone the money. He would never forgive us if we involved the police.
He has amazing potential, he is smart (despite what he is doing right now) and a quick learner. As I say his boss thinks he's great. I'm worried he is going to throw everything away.
Thanks for listening.
2 weeks ago
Thank you for opening up about your son. It sounds like you've been worried about your son's smoking and vaping habits for quite some time, and your recent discovery has heightened your concern for him which is understandable.
Navigating the transition from school into the workforce and negotiating freedom while living at home is challenging for most parents - adding in conversations about drugs and vaping can be incredibly tough to manage. I'm glad you've reached out, as I have some suggestions.
Firstly, I thought sharing our resources on risk-taking, drugs, communication, and boundaries might be helpful to read in preparation for a conversation with your son. Also, it could be worth checking out The Drug and Alcohol Foundation, as they have resources and support services for parents. In particular, the friends and family project and helpline might be helpful. You can contact them on 1300 85 85 84 for more information on what steps to take.
The Family Drug Support helpline is another service to consider contacting on 1300 368 186. Please let us know what you think of those ideas; we want to do anything we can to support you and your son.
Also, we've sent you an email today, so please take a look when you have time.