Coping w my adult daughter’s crippling depression

[Cthor22]

HI -THIS IS MY FIRST POST EVER ON A SUPPORT GROUP, BUT I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE AND DONT KNOW WHERE TO TURN. 

MY ONCE BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY DAUGHTER  HAD AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM A FEW YEARS AGO , WHICH SHE SEEMINGLY CONQUERED. BUT THE PROBLEM HAS MORPHED INTO A SEVERE ANXIETY/DEPESSION. FOOD DIDNT APPEAL TO HER.  WE HAD HER CHECKED OUT PHYSICALLY (BLOOD TESTS, CAT SCANS, ETC), THEY ALL CHECKED OUT. WE THEN TOOK HER TO A PSYCHIATRIST WHO DIAGNOSED HER W MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER. HE PUT HER ON MEDICATION. IT SEEMED TO DO THE TRICK. HER MOOD IMPROVED AND GAINED SOME WEIGHT BACK.

OVER THE PAST YEAR HOWEVER, SHE HAS NO FOCUS OR DESIRE TO WORK OR PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF HER HOBBIES.  OR REALLY JUST LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GROCERY SHOP. WE TRIED TO GET HER ENROLLED IN HER GRADUATE PROGRAM BUT FOR MONTHS THINKING THAT WOULD GIVE HER PURPOSE, THAT DIDNT WORK AS SHE JUST CLDNT GET FOCUSED TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION FOR MONTHS.

THEN WE FELT MAYBE IF SHE JUST LEAVES OUR HOUSE AND GETS HER OWN PLACE, THINGS WLD IMPROVE,,,,,NOT. WE RENTED HER AN APT IN DOWNTOWN NYC AND SHE CANT GET FOCUSED ENOUGH  TO FURNISH IT, SHE JUST SPENDS COUNTLESS HOURS ON HER PHONE ‘SEARCHING’  FOR FURNITURE BUT NO DECISIONS CAN EVER BE MADE. SHE CANT REMEMBER DOCTORS APPTS, TYPICAL TO DO ERRANDS THAT I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO REMIND HER OR DO THEM FOR HER. SHE IS NOT CAPABLE OF FUNCTIONIMG ON HER OWN. SO SHE MOVED BACK IN WITH US. 

WE ARE TRYING TO WEAN HER OFF THIS MEDICATION AS I THINK IT DOES MORE HARM THAN GOOD. SHE NOW SLEEPS 12 HOURS OR MORE, BARELY EATS AND IS DROPPING WEIGHT AGAIN. NEEDLESS TO SAY, MY MENTAL HEALTH IS SUFFERING AND MY JOB SUFFERS AS I CANT FOCUS WORRYING ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE AND IF SHE WILL EVER BE PART OF SOCIETY AND HAPPY AGAIN. 

I WELCOME AND PRAY FOR ANY OF YOUR COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS, ETC

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Cthor22,

Thank you for sharing. We are so sorry to hear about the situation that you are in - it sounds incredibly challenging to say the least. From what you have mentioned, your daughter has been through a lot. We can only imagine the pain and exhaustion you must feel from watching your loved one struggle through these various issues over a significant period of time. It sounds like your daughter has tried a few different strategies. You mentioned that the medication is not working and you are trying to wean her off. Is this something you have talked to a health professional about? Do you have any support from health professionals at the moment?

You sound like a really kind and caring parent who has been there every step of the way. We can tell that you have done your best to support your daugther in whatever way possible. It is completely understandable that this is having an impact on your job and mental health. It can be difficult to support those around us and it is important to make time to look after ourselves. Is there anything you do to keep on top of your well-being?

[Cthor22]

Thank you so much for your kind support. To answer your question re the medication, her current doctor felt that putting her on this medication is kind of a last resort medicine since getting off it has serious withdrawal side effects. She dropped her dosages and essentially slept 18 hour days, numbness in limbs and sounded very detached when speaking to her. Thankfully, she seems to have gotten through this initial first withdrawal phase  and seems much more alert and herself….. but this is only for two days so I’m not going to jump to conclusions and say we are out of the woods. We will most likely go through this again each time they lower the dosage.

So we live day to day for now happy seeing her somewhat normal for now, i just hope/pray that what we are doing will have long term positive outcome

thank you once again for taking time out to respond to my venting

[Courtney-RO]

Hi @Cthor22 and thank you for getting back to us.

I'm sorry to hear that you and your daughter have been through so much recently, I can only imagine how overwhelming it would have been for you to witness your daughter going through so many changes and trying to find the right medications and dosages. I can hear just how much you care about your daughter, I'm sure she appreciates having someone as supportive as you in her life.

I am glad to hear that she seems more alert and herself right now, while its still early, I can imagine that would be such a relief for you. I just want to remind you that you're important too! So what kind of nice things do you do for yourself after a long and stressful week?

I also just want to let you know that I have had to edit your post to keep in line with our community guidelines.

Please remember that you're not alone and we're all here for you.