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School refusal

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School refusal

Hi everyone. Wondering if anyone can help with suggestions on school refusal. My daughter is 13, in year 8, first day of term and she flatly refused to go, I have also started a new job too so had to endure the day fielding calls from school and from her..I'm torn, I know school refusal comes from a deep issue but I'm also frustrated and don't know what to do Smiley Sad

Re: School refusal

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Hey @nikir welcome to the forums. I’m really sorry to hear how hard things are with your daughter’s school refusal. While it is quite a complex thing for your daughter to be experiencing, it is also understandable that it’s taking a toll on you too and would create a lot of frustration.

What I first reflected on in your comment was that your daughter has refused to go to school from the very first day. It can be really common for teens to build up anxiety about the return to school over the holidays as a reason for school refusal. How was your daughter feeling when she last finished school? Has anything changed since then? It could be possible that she’s had something trigger her sudden change in attitude towards school, such as friendship issues or a bad experience which has made the thought of a school day overwhelming. Has anything changed in your family or social circles also? Is your daughter still engaging in her usual activities? Sometimes it might be unrelated to school and there might be another reason that your daughter wants to stay home.

You mentioned that you have been getting calls from both the school and your daughter which has been interfering with your new job. It’s completely understandable that being able to support your daughter may have to look different as you are working and that it’s not as easy as taking time off. Is the school aware of your daughter’s reasons for not going to school? Often a good school can be the key factor in helping a student come back and they may have dealt with this type of situation before. They can arrange things like shorter days or weeks, help or change classes or just be another avenue of communication. If you haven’t seen already, we have a range of articles here on the topic which might provide more insight. I was also curious to know whether your daughter has been to a GP or psychologist about this or any other issues recently?

It’s also important that you are able to gain some support around this issue. Do you have any friends or family that you can talk to about this for yourself or your daughter? We also have a free 1:1 parent coaching service which can provide more guidance specific to your situation.

Looking forward to hearing from you.