About Stormy-RO

Stormy-RO

Hi @speedy_1 and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening with your son. It sounds like your son's behaviour has completely changed with these new friends where he has replaced his work with drugs. I can hear how worried you are for his future as he loved his apprenticeship and has now given it away. Having your son surround himself with these new friends and coming home stoned is something that is difficult for any parent to go through. It's understandable that you are concerned as you don't know what exactly he is doing and are concerned about where this will go. I notice that you've been trying your best to talk to your son but he doesn't believe he is doing anything wrong. I can see that your conflict with him this morning has left you wondering where to go now. It can be hard to talk to teens about risk-taking behaviour as a parent, but I wonder if he knows how much his behaviour is impacting you? Maybe having an open conversation about his work and friendships in a time that you are both in a comfortable space could be meaningful and help you both to understand what has been going on. We have an article here with tips on having a difficult conversation with your teen which may be helpful, and an article here on how to talk about drugs with your teenager. A family counsellor sounds like a good idea, it may help your son to realise the impact that his behaviour is having on your whole family. Relationships Australia has a search option to find a family counsellor near you. I also wanted to draw your attention to some of the drug and alcohol services which you or your son could use. Headspace is a service for young people and their families where they can access one-on-one support via phone or webchat. The Family Drug Support helpline might be useful for you too. I also wanted to bring your attention to ReachOut's one-on-one coaching support service, where you can access several free coaching session to help you as a parent look after your son. Do any of these sound like they could be helpful in this situation? Finally, I'd like to ask what you've been doing to manage this stress for yourself. Have you been able to seek any supports in your life already? We're also going to send you an email, can you keep an eye out for that.

Stormy-RO

Hi @lostB I can see that you are going through an incredibly challenging time with what has happened between you and your ex. It's clear that you want to be there for your child and be part of the process and that you are struggling with feeling like this won't happen. You mentioned that there are a lot of concerns that you have for how you can see your new baby, how to manage custody and their birth certificate. These are understandable things to worry about as you prepare to begin your journey together, and I was wondering what you have been doing to manage your feelings and wellbeing in this difficult time? Do you have any support networks to lean on as you navigate these challenges? You said that you were worried your ex would throw something at you next and that it shatters you to think about. It's good to hear that you are getting as much information as you can so that you can manage whatever happens next and are considering a mediator so that you can organise a parenting agreement. Do you have any other sources of legal or social support between yourself and your ex? It helps to know that you don't need to go through this experience alone. Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Stormy-RO

Coming up on 14th September is R U OK? Day, a day which you may have heard about before. This day focuses on opening up genuine conversations about difficult issues, and can be a great springboard for talking to your teen about their wellbeing. By facilitating a discussion, you can check up on them when they may find it difficult to speak up first. You also show them that you’re a safe place to go when they need help. When asking your teen if they’re OK, here’s some tips: Ask: Find a good time to bring up the conversation. You may find it helpful to be in a casual setting, or to mention something that you’ve noticed in their behaviour that’s different from normal. Remember that it’s okay if your teen doesn’t want to talk to you then and there. It may help to have an ‘ask now, text later’ approach to give them space. Listen: Giving space for your teen to open up about their experiences is essential. This means not to rush the conversation, interrupt, or to make judgments while they are still talking. Active listening may involve asking questions about how a situation is making them feel, or clarifying anything you didn’t catch the first time. Encourage Action: Don’t jump into offering solutions. Your teen may benefit from being guided towards taking action for themselves, and you can help by asking the right questions. You can always ask what role they would like you to take in helping them. Check In: It’s important to follow up with your teen to see how they’re going. Being there for them is more than just one day. If your teen still isn’t feeling OK, consider what support you can bring in for them. You can learn more about R U OK Day on their website. ReachOut has a range of articles on how to communicate with your teen. How to have a great conversation Effective communication and teenagers Ask questions that encourage your teenager to talk Do you know how your teen is going? There may also be instances where your teen asks ‘R U OK’ to you, or you need to let them know that you’re not doing well. We have an article here on How to talk to your teen about your mental health difficulties which gives suggestions on how to have this conversation. Support Our forums are a safe space to come if you are not feeling OK and want to talk about your concerns for your teen. Headspace Family offers support for parents and carers of young people through online, phone or group chat support with a trained clinician. Each state also offers a Parentline which provides free telephone counselling support for parents. If you’re struggling and need someone to talk to, Beyond Blue offers brief call or online counselling sessions.

Stormy-RO

Hi @dolphinlover it's nice to hear from you. It must be incredibly hard on you for your brother-in-law to blame you for what happened on top of the grief you are already experiencing. I can only imagine the strain this is adding to a heartbreaking situation. It sounds like your family can only support from a distance too, but it's at least comforting to hear that you have some friends closer to home. How have you been doing recently with the supports you have? And how has your daughter been?

Stormy-RO

Hi @Chill50 I just wanted to thank you for sharing what you have in support on the forums. What you've described about your family and son's experiences sounds overwhelming and incredibly difficult. I can see your compassion not only for other parents here but also for your son, and how you've done everything that you can to help him. It's reassuring to know that he has been able to gain access to help through your efforts. Contacting over 20 adolescent psychiatrists is a huge endeavour and I'm glad to hear that he feels like it's helping him. What also stands out to me is how you are meeting him where he is with his motivation, friendships and academic expectations. This really shows your empathy and dedication to his wellbeing. I imagine that doing one thing a day is bringing some positivity into both of your lives and making you feel connected. I recognise that your son has recently started vaping which is heartbreaking for you. It's hard to see your son turn to coping mechanisms that you know aren't the best. If you're interested, we have an article here about how to talk to your teen about vaping. This may be helpful when you are both in a good place to have that conversation. Finally, I wanted to check in about what you've been doing to look after yourself. How are you managing through this difficult time? Have you been able to talk to anyone about what you're going through? Thank you again for reaching out to us and the community, and looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Stormy-RO

To all the fathers in our community, happy Fathers’ Day! We hope you have a special weekend with family and the important people in your lives. Fathers play a vital role in the lives of their children, being role models and sources of support. We see the love and dedication of dads supporting and raising their teens and commend them for all of their hard work. Fathers’ Day can also be a tough day for families and dads, whether it’s remembering a father or child who has passed, being away from loved ones, or any other factors unique to your experience. We want to acknowledge all the dads who may be feeling the impact of Fathers’ Day this weekend, and let you know that you’re not alone. If you’re a father looking for support, Mensline is a free telephone and online counselling service available anywhere within Australia. They also offer a range of articles for dads and fathers. Finally, our forums are a safe space for fathers from all walks of life to post their experiences. We encourage you to start a post to share what’s on your mind with our community.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-24-2023

Hi @Maree86 Thank you for coming onto the forums with your concerns about your nephew. It sounds like what his girlfriend's mum has said about drug testing him, as well as what could happen with the mum or any legal consequences, has had an impact on your nephew and also yourself. Are you concerned about what might happen to your nephew if this ended up occurring? Have his parents been able to get involved in this situation? Regarding whether it's legal for his girlfriend's mum to drug test him, we can't give specific legal advice. However, you or your nephew may find it helpful to use a free and confidential legal service like Youth Law Australia. If you click the 'get help now' button, you can send in a request for legal advice. Alternatively, Legal Aid has a legal advice line which could give you some information about the law around this. I also wanted to pass on these articles about drugs and teenagers and how to talk about drugs with teenagers. You might find it helpful to use yourself or pass onto your nephew's parents. Let us know what you think.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-18-2023

Is your teen getting bullied? Knowing that your child is experiencing bullying is one of the hardest parts of parenting. As much as we want to guard our young ones, there are times when they will be out in the world without our protection, and that can be an extremely hard pill to swallow. So, what can you do as a parent to support your teen through bullying? Sometimes, they might not even realize they're being bullied. They might brush it off as just "friendship drama" or dealing with "toxic friendships”, - but these interactions can still have an impact. First things first, keep the lines of communication wide open. Let your teen know they can talk to you about anything without judgment. Help them understand you've got their back, no matter what happens. Keep an eye out for signs of bullying, even if your teen doesn't label it as such. Changes in behaviour, mood swings, or slipping grades could be red flags. Validate your teen's feelings: let them know it's okay to feel upset or angry. Empathy goes a long way in helping them open up. Help them cope in healthy ways: Encourage activities they enjoy, spend time with supportive friends or family, and don't hesitate to seek professional counselling if needed. It's not just you in this fight! Team up with your teen's school staff. They've got anti-bullying policies and can play a significant role in addressing the issue. Building up your teen's self-esteem and resilience is crucial. Praise their strengths, remind them of their worth, and get them involved in activities they love. Tech boundaries matter! Open up conversations about their online presence and friendships, and set boundaries with technology. Plan time away from screens together and practice mindfulness. Resources Tackling bullying with problem-solving skills Talking to your teen about bad friendships What to do if your teenager is being bullied Build a support network Support The BULLY Project Australia offers support and information on what to do if you require legal help to address bullying, including how to lodge a formal complaint with the Department of Education or the police and report cyber-bullying to e-safety.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-17-2023

Hi @LeeBelle I wanted to start by saying thank you again for being so open and genuine in sharing your life story. I can see that here and on your other posts you've been making a space to share your experiences for others to see and learn from them. You have been through a lot with your children, and I see that you are still going through an agonising process. It must have been terrifying and emotionally exhausting to see what your daughter was doing and saying yesterday, especially after what you've experienced with your son. Knowing that your husband wants to boot her out of your home and is planning to sell or rent your house would be an extra stress on your efforts to look after her, though I'm glad that you can talk to your husband about these issues too. I see that you have a strong plan of what to do next by ringing the health department if the situation gets worse, even if you don't know if your daughter will go into rehab. Knowing where you can turn for help is always the first step. I see that you're also taking steps to look after yourself, like seeing your sister to get a break from the situation. It's good to hear that you have been able to get in contact with your GP and are seeking psychological support- getting that professional input can be invaluable. But I'm sorry to hear that you are concerned that he won't be able to take you on as a patient. Is there any reason that you have this concern? While you're waiting to find out, is there anything you can do to look after yourself? You mentioned that aside from your husband you have nobody to talk to about this issue. I wanted to flag some potential helplines you could contact if you were looking for some extra support. Firstly, there is the Family Drug Support Hotline, which is a telephone support service for families affected by drug use. They also have online support groups if you're interested. I also wanted to introduce you to Beyond Blue's counselling service if you weren't familiar with it already. They're a free counselling service available online or via telephone in Australia. While you're waiting to hear back from your GP and psychologist, you may find it helpful to contact someone when you're going through so much. We're always here to listen to you and are thankful that you could find this space. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-14-2023

Hi @t2008 it's nice to hear from you. I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening with your breakup. I can imagine how hard it would be to open up again after a divorce to experience another relationship breakdown. It sounds like you and your son have been through a lot together. Your commitment to looking after your son when his behaviour is so challenging is commendable, especially when it means you can't work. If you feel comfortable, we'd love to hear more about your experiences and journey with your son. How are you looking after yourself in this time? Are there any supports you can lean on while you're going through this? We're here to listen and help in any way we can.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-04-2023

Hi @mstrx It sounds like you're having struggles with your son's transition from swaddle to sleep sack. It must be difficult to know what to do when your baby has changed the way he sleeps and you've been trying lots of options. Unfortunately, the ReachOut forums are aimed towards parents and carers of teens so we cannot give you advice on this issue. However, I wanted to refer you to Pregnancy Birth and Baby who offer a free video call service to parents which is available 7 days a week. Their website also has resources on sleep and other issues. Raising Children similarly offer resources to parents of all ages including on the topic of sleep. Hopefully these can give you more specific guidance. All the best for you and your son.

Stormy-RO · ‎08-04-2023

Hi @Helplessmama, I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening with your son at school. It sounds like his pending diagnoses of autism, ADHD and social anxiety have really been affecting his education and taken a toll on him and yourself. It's concerning that he is starting to disengage from school and is struggling with friendships, conflict and feeling lost. I can imagine how hard it is to know he is having stomach pains and needs your support throughout the day. I wanted to say how commendable it is that you've taken so many steps to support him, from seeing a paediatrician to a psychologist and considering his options for school in the future. After all of this you should know that you're not letting him down when you're doing everything you can to look after him. You mentioned that your son is disengaging from school and that this has been going on since last year. We wanted to ask whether the school is aware of the situation or his diagnosis? Some schools may be able to offer personalised support or start a conversation as to whether home schooling may be more appropriate. This is also something that you could bring up with his treating professionals if you haven't already. While it's reassuring to hear that your son is still going to school, I wanted to highlight the risk that stressful life events, peer issues and mental health can have on school attendance. In case this is something you start noticing, ReachOut has a number of articles on school refusal which might be of interest to you. Finally, I wanted to check in on how you've been coping in this situation. Do you have any networks of your own which you can lean on in this time? ReachOut has a one-on-one coaching service for parents and carers which is free and available online to support you. It might help you to navigate this experience as a parent. I hope things can start getting easier for you and your son soon.

Stormy-RO · ‎07-31-2023

Hi @Redpippa Thank you for coming online and sharing your situation with us. I hear your concern and anxiety about having evidence that your son is taking drugs and how to have this conversation with him. It's hard when you know he will get angry and defensive but the fact you have his best interests at heart is so important. I wanted to link you to an article we have on how to talk about drugs with your teenager. It's an exploration-based approach which may help to make the situation less confronting for your son. Some other articles which may help are this one on effective communication and what to do if your teen has a drug problem. Once you start the conversation it may be easier to understand where your son is coming from and what you can do to help. I'm sorry to hear that your anxiety has been affecting your ability to sleep at night. Have you been able to talk to a trusted friend or family member about this situation? Another resource that might be helpful for you is headspace, which offers support for family members of young people, including the option to talk to a clinician over the phone. Your son could also use them if he wanted to. This is a situation which many parents go through, and you don't have to face it alone.

Stormy-RO · ‎07-25-2023

Hey @Sunshine73 Just wanted to chime in to say how difficult of an experience it must be to see your son struggling with school and wanting him back to his normal happy self. Being anxious about not knowing whether he will go to appointments is completely valid. Have you found any strategies that help? And have you been able to talk to anyone about your own anxiety? It's important to have support for yourself too. It must be incredibly difficult when friends don't understand the extent of your son's struggles and that you can't speak to your entire family about it. It's great to see that you have reached out for other supports, but not having a network that understands is difficult at the best of times. Even through this, you aren't alone in your struggles. Have you been able to connect with any other parents about what you're going through? I wanted to flag this website to you. They have a Facebook group for Australian parents and carers of children and teens with school refusal. It might be helpful to connect and hear other parents' stories in one big community. Let us know if this is helpful for you. We're here to support you any way we can.

Stormy-RO · ‎07-13-2023

Hi @vicchick welcome to the forums. Thank you for reaching out, this sounds like a difficult situation to be in for both yourself and your teen and it's clear that you are coming from a place of concern. There seem to be a lot of different circumstances related to your teen's mental health, gender identity and friendships and it's understandable that it's difficult to navigate them all. You mentioned a history of self-harm from your teen, do they have any supports currently, such as a GP, psychologist or school counsellor? I also wanted to recommend the ReachOut Youth Forums which would allow them to get in touch with peer support if they wanted. Addressing the gender identity of your teen is a confusing situation and it sounds like you don't know if this feels right. How have the conversations with your teen about this topic been going? We have an article about having difficult conversations with your teen which might provide some suggestions for you. There are also some great resources online on this topic. Transhub has information and guidance for families and carers of trans teenagers. In addition, QLife offers anonymous call and webchat peer support and referral services for Australians of all ages to talk about gender, sexuality and identity. We'll also be sending you an email to check in, so please look out for that.

Stormy-RO · ‎07-13-2023

Hi @Butterflymagic It's totally understandable that you feel frustrated and exhausted when you and your son aren't getting the help you need. The fact you've worked so hard to continue looking for options shows your dedication as a parent, especially as you mentioned you are looking for support for both of you. @Chloe-RO has provided some great online and telephone-based services across Australia. Maybe some of these could help to get your story out there to more supports who can listen? If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear more about your story and any networks you have in your family or friends. You also mentioned that you're quite isolated from services- how are you managing your stress and isolation at the moment? Thank you for coming online to share your experiences- feel free to use these forums to connect with other parents as you're not alone in your struggles

Stormy-RO · ‎07-11-2023

Hi @ciuinanam It sounds like you have really been struggling with your son's school refusal. It's great to hear that you have been trying to work with your child to find solutions, but that it has caused you a lot of stress and setting boundaries has been hard. It's reassuring that you've been in contact with specialists and the school about his physical and mental health. The fact that you've been putting in a lot of work to find solutions and give him support shows your concern and dedication as a parent, and it's understandable that you are becoming exhausted when things aren't improving. Our services are for supporting parents of teenagers, so we are unable to provide specific guidance on your experiences. Raising Children, or one of the parent helplines listed on their website in your state, might be able to give you more advice. You're doing the best you can in a difficult situation, and it's important to acknowledge your own feelings about this. Do you have any personal support systems to lean on? Thank you for sharing your experiences, and remember that you're not alone on this journey.

Stormy-RO · ‎07-11-2023

Hi @Butterflymagic I'm sorry to hear you haven't been successful in finding support through these groups. It sounds like you've been doing everything you can to connect. Do you have any current supports, such as a GP or psychologist that you've been in contact with previously?

Stormy-RO · ‎07-11-2023

Hi @Mumma80 it's good to hear that you have some supports that you've already connected with. Following what your son is open to is a great idea, especially since you can both be on the same page with the process. Make sure to look after yourself in this time too.

Date Registered	‎06-15-2023 11:49 AM
Date Last Visited	Monday
Total Messages Posted	19
Total Likes Received	2

Online Status	Offline
Date Last Visited	Monday

About Stormy-RO

About Stormy-RO

About Stormy-RO

Re: 16 yo Son just chucked his apprenticeship in a...

Re: Expecting 1st time single dad

R U OK? Day

Re: Husband suicide

Re: Depressed 17 year old son 😢

Happy Fathers' Day

Re: Drug test 15 year old

What to do if your teen is getting bullied

Re: Drug induced psychosis

Re: Breakup due to son having Autism

Re: Swaddle to Sleep sack transition

Re: Hello ….. I need advice

Re: A mum knows

Re: School Refusal

Re: TW: Not trans just lost, depressed? (please do...

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: It's just too much

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Re: Teen vaping & aggressive