Hey @Imaleo18, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see that things have been exceptionally taxing with your 15 year old daughter. It is understandable that you are feeling scared about letting her date this boy, after everything you had experienced with her when she was 13 years old. I am wondering what boundaries you feel might be important to consider, if your daughter does date this boy?. ReachOut also has a number of informative articles about sex and teenagers, and romantic relationships and teenagers. You might find some of the articles helpful, and they may provide you with some insight and ideas moving forward.  Despite all of this, you were both able to seek counselling for your daughter, make the decision to homeschool her, and even move, which is incredibly admirable. I am wondering if your daughter is still speaking to her counsellor?.  I can see that dad is also against your daughter dating this boy because of what happened in the past. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for the both of you to be faced with this. I am curious if you both have spoken to friends or family about what you’re experiencing? It is also important for the both of you to be able to look after your wellbeing, so I am wondering if you and dad have any professional support? ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions that you might find helpful connecting with and receiving support from.  ... View more

Hey @Iris15, It’s good to see you back in the parent and carer community. Thank you for sharing what you’ve been experiencing recently. I can see how heartbreaking it must be for you to see your son being concerned about being thought of in the same light as the accused. I can hear that you have made an attempt to explain that there are different forms of mental health issues that often have varying degrees. I am curious about how he responded to that? This article on helping your teen cope with bad world news might give you some new insight and advice.  It would also be incredibly tough for your son to be viewing himself in such a terrifying way. Your post from 2022 noted that your son was seeing a counsellor/psychologist, Is your son still receiving this support? It might be helpful for him to explore this topic here with any professional he might be accessing.  With all that’s gone on, I am curious about how you’re coping through all of this. Have you been able to confide in someone around the stigma your son is noticing?  ... View more

Hey @Irishmum, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing things have been for you with your 14 year old staying out at night, not knowing where they are, while coming home intoxicated and injured. If you feel comfortable sharing, how long has this been going on for? I am also wondering how your teen has responded to conversations you have had with them about this? ReachOut has an article on setting boundaries with your teenager that you might find helpful and another on risk taking and teenagers that might give you some additional insight. I imagine how stressful this must be and can see that you’ve tried to receive support but have been faced with referral waiting lists. This must be really exhausting and frustrating to say the least. I am wondering if you’ve had contact with the school about what's been happening? The school can be a great support for parents as they usually work with you to find solutions and support. It sounds like you can also see how important professional support might be for your young person. Until they are able to get access to professional support, we have a youth online community that may be useful to share with your young person whilst you're waiting for professional support. I'm also curious if your young person has had any experience with professional support before? There is a resource on preparing your teen for professional help which may be useful if this will be their first experience of therapy. I also want to note the importance of managing your own wellbeing while going through difficult times. Have you spoken to friends and family about what you’re experiencing? For a parent, seeing a professional can also be incredibly helpful, so I am wondering if you’ve previously connected with professional support? ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions that I encourage you to connect with. Headspace is another service that offers free counselling online and over the phone for parents and resources that may also be really helpful for you. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for it!  ... View more

Hey @Phil0b3dd03, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how incredibly taxing things have been for you and your wife recently. It must be really difficult for you both to witness your eldest daughter being treated the way she is by your eldest son. It is understandable that you’re feeling angry and beginning to resent your son after making numerous attempts to stop his behaviour. ReachOut has a few articles on Family conflict and Teenagers that you might find helpful.  It is really important to look after your own wellbeing which can be near impossible when you’re going through such a difficult time. Have you and your wife spoken to any friends and family or professional support previously? I encourage you to connect with ReachOut’s 1:1 free parent coaching that might be helpful for you and your wife.  I can also see that your 19 year old daughter has been verbally abusive towards you and your wife. This would be heartbreaking to say the least and not something you and your wife should be confronted with. I am curious if she has any professional support and if you’ve checked in with your daughter about her wellbeing? I was also curious to know whether you've been able to set any boundaries or consequences with your son about his behaviour if he's not receptive to your previous talks? We have a piece on setting realistic boundaries with teenagers which may help. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for that! ... View more

Hey @Hope42, Welcome to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing your experience! I can see that you really resonate with this post based on your experience with your young person self-harming. I want to emphasise that feeling shocked and overwhelmed by the scars is an incredibly normal reaction for any parent. To see the harm your teen has inflicted on themselves can be confronting to say the least and may also be uncomfortable to think about or look at - as you mentioned. I am really glad that you've had the opportunity to understand the psychology behind why individuals self-harm and realising that you most definitely aren't alone! I can see that this has enabled you to have a different approach and reaction towards your teen, which can help them feel comfortable to reach out for support when they need it. I also want to acknowledge how admirable you are for the endless amount of effort you are putting in to support your teen. It shows just how resilient you are!  I can see how difficult it would be to manage your own wellbeing with what's been going on. It is important to maintain your wellbeing while caring for your teen, so I am wondering how you have been coping through all of this? ReachOut offers free and confidential 1:1 Parent Coaching which can be really helpful for parents to debrief and receive support.  An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for it!  ... View more

Hey @IsThereAnyHelp, Firstly, I would like to welcome you to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see how taxing and exhausting things have been for you. Being separated from your children is heartbreaking to say the least and having an IVO against you has made it unbelievably difficult for you. It is completely understandable and valid to feel the way to do!  I want to acknowledge the extensive amount of effort you have put in to be reunited with your kids. I can see how deflated you might be feeling after being repeatedly pushed away from seeing your children. It’s admirable that you are still trying your best despite all of this.  It is really important to look after yourself during this time, so I am wondering if you have any professional support in place? I am also curious to know if you’ve spoken to friends and family about this? I encourage you to contact 1800RESPECT for additional support and advice to get through this. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for that. ... View more

Hey @Runningonempty, Welcome to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see how taxing things have been for you and your family. Enduring challenging behaviour, violence and abuse for the past 18 months would be exhausting to say the least, so it’s completely valid to be at your breaking point. I can hear that you’ve put in a tremendous amount of effort to support your eldest daughter, including your husband taking an extended period of time off work. It is really admirable to see the lengths you both have taken to help your daughter despite her reluctance to follow through.  It would be incredibly challenging to manage your own wellbeing while caring for your two daughters. I can see that this has had a mental, physical and financial impact on your family. I am wondering if you and your husband have spoken to friends or family about what has been going on? I am also curious if you and your husband have any professional support? I can also see that your youngest daughter is not coping with all that is happening. Does she have any professional support as well?  If you feel comfortable, I encourage you to connect with ReachOut’s 1:1 free and confidential parent coaching and Carer Gateway who offer coaching, tips, and counselling for you and your husband.  An email has also been sent to you so please keep an eye out for that! ... View more

Hey @Malena , Welcome back to the ReachOut Parent Forums and thank you for sharing your story! I can see how upsetting it would have been to hear your son tell you about the other kids attending playdates. It would be difficult for a child to not be invited to these playdates or parties, yet hear about them and the fun other kids had. I can see that it is heartbreaking to see your son’s awareness of this and feeling partly responsible for it. However, it's so admirable to see you are raising 4 children/young adults, working full time, while still able to catch as many moments as you can with your son. In addition, I want to acknowledge how admirable it is to see your resilience and optimism for your son and how he will make new friends once he begins high school. It is such a beautiful thing to hear and see.  I hope that things get better for you and your son soon! ... View more

Hey @NomadSG,  Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I can see that things have been taxing for you with what's going on with your son. It is really great to hear that you are engaged with the school about this and I’m glad you are receiving support from them. If you feel comfortable, are you able to share more about what’s been happening for your son and how long this has been going on for?  I also want to note that it’s admirable to hear that you have a form of self-care that helps you when you’re feeling stressed. It can be difficult to manage your own wellbeing during tough times, so I'm curious to know how you're feeling about all of this, and if you have any supports for yourself apart from the school? ... View more

Hi @Needsupport23, Welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing things have been for you and your family. It can be difficult to discover that your 13 year old daughter was self-harming. Have you been able to speak to her about this? Do you know if there was/is something happening at school? There is an article on self-harm and teenagers that I encourage you to read as it may be helpful.  It’s amazing to hear that you have been able to get support from the school and a psychologist for your daughter. I can see by the support your daughter has, that you are trying everything to help and understand what she is going through. In your post you said “she’ll go and do something stupid and cause chaos in the house”, if you feel comfortable, are you able to explain further what you mean by this?  I can also hear that your eldest daughter is going through a lot at the moment. I am wondering if she may be involved in any of the upcoming sessions with the psychologist? I am also curious if she has access to any individual support?  It would be difficult to manage your own wellbeing and also seeing how lost your husband is, while taking care of your daughters. I encourage you and your husband to explore Carer Gateway as they offer counselling, tips, and coaching. Parentline is another great service who offers confidential and anonymous counselling. ReachOut also offers free 1:1 parent coaching, which may be another service you can connect with. It is important that you and your husband take care of yourselves!  An email has also been sent to you, so keep an eye out for that. ... View more

Hey @Van100, I can see how taxing things have been for you. It would be difficult to see your daughter struggling and refusing to talk or get support. I can hear that you’re concerned about losing her curriculum with Euka. Have you considered reaching out to Euka to discuss the current situation and whether there is anything they can do to help?  As Lily_RO mentioned, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching that may be a support for yourself during this time. I also encourage you to explore Carers Gateway who offer counselling and coaching, and may provide you with additional resources and support. It is really important to look after yourself while taking care of your young person. ... View more

Hi @Rinstar,  Welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums! Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I can see that you care for your son and are concerned about him. It would be difficult to hear that your son has been bullied. There is an article on Bullying and Teenagers that might provide more insight on bullying and its effects. I can also see that you are terrified for your son as he feels like someone will harm him if he goes out. I am wondering if you feel comfortable sharing more about what's been happening for your son and how long this has been going on for? I am also wondering if you’ve spoken to a GP or mental health professional about your concerns with your son? An email was also sent to you so please keep an eye out for it.  ... View more

Hi @Elolia97, Thank you for your response. It can be really taxing to be experiencing disrespect. I can see that you have tried to set consequences but were told that their mental health would be impacted if you followed through. This can be daunting as you do not want to escalate their distress yet cannot maintain these consequences. I encourage you to explore Carers Gateway and Parent Helpline SA for advice and additional support around setting boundaries and consequences.  I am glad to hear that you have a counselling session booked in for yourself in a couple of weeks. I really hope this helps you feel more supported. I also want to remind you that you aren’t alone, we are here to listen and support you!.  ... View more

Hi @sunmoonstars ,  I can see how difficult things have been for you and really admire your resilience. It can be incredibly difficult to reflect on your own trauma and the ways this has impacted your parenting in the ways that you try to care for and protect your daughter, but you can also identify how this trauma has adversely impacted you. I want to emphasise how amazing you are for having the capacity to acknowledge where you might’ve gone wrong and accept what has been done. I appreciate your courage to share this with the community and thank you for being so open.  Raising teens as a single parent can sometimes be largely taxing so I want to reiterate how difficult it must have been for you to have attempted to set these boundaries with your daughter knowing this was a likely outcome. I can see that you are exhausted and have tried your best to do what you can for your daughter and yourself. I can hear that you aren't receiving any ongoing professional support as you aren't able to afford it. I encourage you to explore Carers Gateway and Parenting & Family Support VIC who can support you as you might need, without cost.  We have also sent you an email to check in, so please keep an eye out for it. ... View more

Hi @Ellie22 , Welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. It is amazing to see improvements where there was once great difficulty and concern. Stories like yours bring hope to parents in similar situations and may help ease negative feelings and emotions. I hope everything continues to go well with your son and family!  ... View more

Hi @Parent888 , Welcome to the ReachOut Parent forums! I can see how difficult it would be to see your son pulling out his eyebrow hairs. Although, It is great to see you reaching out for support and advice for your son.  I am wondering how you are feeling about this and if you have spoken to a GP about your concerns? I am also interested to know if your son has any other behaviours at the moment that you might be concerned about? ... View more

Hi @mmjmmj, I can see that what you're going through is mentally and emotionally taxing. Having two minds about what to do would be really difficult to say the least. I can hear that you care deeply for your child and want to ensure you are doing what is best for them.  The concerns that you have about the child missing school are normal and valid. I understand the importance of not wanting to harm your child further and having them miss school as a result. It can be really daunting and can put you under a large amount of pressure. I'm wondering if you could have a discussion with the school about how the child can catch up when they are discharged? Or perhaps talking to the school about what the needs of child might look like when they are back at school again?    ... View more

Hi @kd1981 , Welcome to the forums! I'm sorry to hear about your child's experience at school. It is understandable that your child is refusing to return to school after having such a traumatic experience. I am wondering if your child has any professional supports like a psychologist or counselor? You also might be interested in connecting your child to Kids Helpline or Headspace, who both offer free phone and online counselling service for young people.  I can also hear how difficult this has been for you considering it has destroyed your business and been ongoing for almost 12 months. I'd like to know what you have been doing to take care of yourself through all of this? I recommend visiting Parentline if you require additional support as they can provide you with counselling and suggest services near you. Here at ReachOut we also have a free coaching service for parents, which you can find here if you are interested.  I look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hi @1984_ , Welcome to the forums! I can see that you care deeply for your son and have concerns about his welfare. It is understandable that your son is upset after his visa got denied, since he was looking forward to travelling. I can also hear how difficult this is for you as you aren't able to visit your son during this time. As your son is over 25 years of age, I am unable to give you direct support since it is out of our scope of service. However, I do recommend your son to reach out to Lifeline if he is feeling unsafe, as they are a crisis service and can provide him with immediate support if he needs it. I'm sorry that I was unable to help you directly, but I do hope this helps! ... View more

Hi @mmjmmj , Welcome back to the community. I can hear the frustration you carry around the requests for help that unanswered. The important questions asked here may be difficult to address with the attention they deserve. I am curious if you have touched base with your local elected leader about the concerns you have raised? I look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hi @Daddy_Gaz , Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that your 6-month-old has torticollis and can only imagine how difficult this has been for you and your partner. It is great to hear that your 6-month-old has been improving after using the exercises given to you by the physiotherapist. I am also glad to see that you and your partner are connecting with the necessary professionals to better support your child.  Here at ReachOut we provide our services to parents of adolescents aged 14-25 and to young people aged 14-25. Therefore, we are unable to provide you with direct support as this would be out of our scope of service. However, we do recommend visiting Carer Gateway who offers counselling, support group forum, and coaching. There is also Pregnancy, Birth and Baby that may provide you with additional services that may aid in the support of your baby and includes information on parenting mental health and wellbeing.  I hope this helps!  ... View more

Hi @fofo-1 , Welcome to the forums! I am glad you have found us and look forward to seeing you on the forums again soon.  Take care!  ... View more

Hi @Raksha05 , It sounds like it has been an extremely difficult end of the year for you and your family. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you to process whilst also supporting your daughter as she tries to understand something that can feel unfathomable and unjust. I can see the intention behind the decision to tell your children about the tumor after Christmas was made with careful thought and love. Despite the planning around this moment and the support you continue to provide your daughter, it has proven to be incredibly challenging for you all. I want to take a moment to also commend you on the steps you and your Husband have taken to support your family and yourselves through this. I can see immense strength and resilience throughout your post. In saying that, I’d love to know if you have any support in place for yourself during this time? Even the strong and resilient need their own time to process the unknown and apprehension around what this could mean. I'd also like to know if your daughter has ongoing professional support for her mental health? We can refer you to some local options if that might be helpful. We also have a post here that touches on BPD from one of our inhouse specialists, along with some resources here for carers of a loved one with BPD.   I look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hi @S-A-W , Welcome to the forums! I am sorry to hear you are dealing with parental alienation. The separation from your children must be so difficult. I wonder how long you have been coping with this and what you have tried so far? Co-parenting is challenging to master but there are services out there to help. A great place to start is calling the Parentline in your state or contacting Relationship’s Australia. These services can help you understand both parent's rights and responsibilities, offer counselling and can potentially help with services such as mediation or drafting a parenting plan.  I look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hey @mmjmmj , I understand your frustrations, however I am unable to discuss the legalities as I am not an expert. I am also sorry if suggesting the police was unhelpful. This was mentioned because you referred to concerns about teens being abusive. It sounds like I misunderstood, so apologies for that.  eSafety has some good tips for parents to suggest to their young person. Your teen might feel embarrassed to know that you're aware of their exchange, so you might be able to screenshot the tips to inform them that if they are going to continue with their exchanges, how they can do so safely. I am interested to know if you have experienced this with your teen?  I look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hi @mmjmmj , I can imagine how hard it would be to have your teen getting angry and abusive when you're trying to help them. I also understand your frustration with services focused on helping teens instead of also supporting the parents. In situations where you might feel threatened, contacting police would be best to ensure the safety of you and your teen. We have an article here that I suggest reading on anger and teenagers, which also provides links to services for additional support.    Also, an email has been sent so please keep an eye out.    I look forward to hearing from you soon.    ... View more

Hi @cjs_mmm , Welcome to the community! Thank you for taking the courage to post on the forums.  I am sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. It is good to see that you are trying to be involved with your daughter's support journey which shows that you care. If you feel comfortable, I'd be interested to learn a little more about what you hope to gain from family therapy? I also recommend visiting Relationships Australia and Family Relationships for advice on changing your daughters' one-on-one sessions to family therapy.  I look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hey @dudmum , Welcome to the forums! Thank you for having the courage to reach out for support, it shows such resilience and strength. We are so sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulties with your 15-year-old son not talking to you. I can just imagine how difficult it has been for you to not be able to talk to your son without being yelled at. It sounds like there has been a lot of anger towards you which can be extremely difficult to endure. There is an article here about effective communication that might interest you and another here that provides more information on free parenting support at ReachOut. At the age of 15 your son is likely going through many hormonal changes which can impact mood and behaviour. However, it is not okay to be treated like this by a loved one. We do have this resource on changes during puberty and this resource on navigating anger which may be useful also.  How are you feeling today? I also wonder how you have been caring for yourself in response to the distress this change in your son must be causing? We look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hi @Sandee, We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, and we send you and your family our condolences. We are also relieved to see you connect with us again during this extremely difficult time. I understand how difficult it must be for you to have to deal with the grief of your brother, as well as the issues you are having with your son, who you feel you have lost in many ways. Have you found that being with family right now has provided any comfort? I also just wanted to remind you that we are here, as are the services we discussed with you last week.  Look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more