Hey @Ziglux, Welcome to ReachOut! It sounds like last night was quite confronting and challenging for you and your family. This would've been daunting to say the least and quite taxing. I can hear that you were very welcoming to your son's girlfriend despite her behaviour. It is really understandable that this concerned you and is great that you were able to share your concerns with your son. I'd like to take a moment here to acknowledge your efforts around reaching out for support around this, but also being able to speak to your son about your concerns. I can see that you're an incredible parent! I can hear that after your son told his girlfriend about your concerns, your son left home and refused to make contact with any of the family. This would've been challenging for you and your family. I can also hear that last night your son's girlfriend began yelling at you and your family, using abusive language, and made threats of violence. This is not okay at all and would've been quite shocking to see her behave this way. Since this happened last night, have you had a chance to speak to any family or friends about what's happened? I can also see that your son's girlfriend shoved your oldest daughter and lashed out on your son while she was leaving, all while yelling abuse. I imagine this would have been so difficult to navigate for you and your family, and I can hear that you and your family are feeling sad and broken by all of this, which is completely understandable. I want to also take this time to reiterate that you're not alone, the community is here to support you! It might also be helpful to check out this topic on Romantic Relationships and Teenagers. It contains a number of articles with advice on navigating your young person and their romantic relationships.  What you and your family have gone through is so heartbreaking and can really affect your wellbeing. In saying that, I am curious to know how you are doing? Is there anything you will be doing today to take care of yourself? If you're interested in additional support, I encourage you to connect with ReachOut's Parent Coaching. They offer free 1:1 professional coaching for parents and carers of 12–18-year-olds across Australia. An email has also been sent to check in with you offline, so please keep an eye out for it. I look forward to hearing from you soon! ... View more

Hey @Butterflymagic, It's nice to hear from you again! It's good to hear that your son has a support coordinator. Although I can hear the frustration around the coordinator not setting up support shifts and being unable to access support until the service agreement is signed. I'd like to take a moment here to acknowledge the continuing efforts you have made to support yourself and your son. From your past posts, I can see that you have faced ongoing challenges with access to services and support, while navigating your own health journey, and supporting your son and his needs. There is no doubt that you are incredibly resilient and are doing the best you can, it's amazing and so inspiring!  I can also hear that you worked hard to prepare stock for an upcoming market that turned out to be cancelled. I can hear that this would've been really frustrating for you, wanting to scream at the top of your lungs. It sounds like this week has been a nightmare for you to navigate, which is completely understandable! I am wondering if you have been able to engage in any self-care activities recently?  In case you're interested in 1:1 support, ReachOut offers free professional coaching for parents and carers of 12–18-year-olds in Australia. You might find these sessions helpful for you while you navigate these ongoing challenges.  I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon!  ... View more

Hey @adz1066 ,  Welcome to ReachOut! I’d like to start off by acknowledging the effort you have made to speak to the mother about the concerns you have. I imagine this would’ve been a difficult conversation to have. I can see that you’ve been friends for such a long time and are only looking out for them and their 5-year-old child, as you care deeply about them both. I can see that you’re a caring and supportive friend, who has done an excellent job to try and support their friend!  It sounds like you are concerned about the mother and their 5-year-old. If you feel comfortable sharing, I would like to learn more about what you mean by single mum going bad? I can hear that the mother also cut off contact with many other parents, which is understandably concerning. Having been friends for 25 years and been close for the past 5 years, it would definitely be heartbreaking for you to lose contact with them. I am wondering how you have been managing these concerns and feelings of heartbreak recently?  While it would be understandably difficult to navigate where to go from here as you feel you have to respect her wishes and not contact them. I do encourage you to contact emergency services such as 000 for a welfare check, if the mother or child are at risk of any harm.  I also want to let you know that in case you missed it, an email was sent to you yesterday to check in with you offline. ... View more

Hey @ceecee101, Welcome to ReachOut! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through with the community. I can see that things have been taxing for you and your husband with your 15-year-old boy. I want to start off by acknowledging the effort you have made to set boundaries for your kids. Often setting boundaries can be difficult with teenagers, so you and your husband have done an amazing job! It also sounds like you have a strong and loving relationship with your husband which is wonderful for you and your kids! Being suspended numerous times would be exhausting for you both. The school can provide support to parents and their teens by sharing strategies and advice, or at times referring them to other services. I am wondering if you are being supported by the school for your 15-year-old boy? I can also hear that you have seen a video online of your 15-year-old vaping and holding hands with a girl. This would be overwhelming to witness and may have also been frustrating for you. I’d like to share these articles on Vaping and Relationships that provide some insight and advice on speaking to your teen about vaping and being in a romantic relationship. If you have a chance to speak to your 15-year-old at another time about this, I encourage you to explore this article on Communication with your Teen and another on Peer pressure.  It sounds like the comments made by your 15-year-old have made you consider whether or not your boundaries are strict. How you’re feeling in response to this is completely normal and understandable. Sometimes, speaking to others like friends and family can be helpful during times like these. So, I am wondering if you have spoken to any friends or family about your 15-year-old and how you’re feeling? In case you are interested, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions for parents and carers of young people aged 12-18.  I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon! ... View more

Hey @Butterflymagic, Welcome back to ReachOut! It's nice to hear from you again. I’m sorry to hear that you are still experiencing difficulties finding support for you and your son. Living in a small town can make accessibility challenging to needed services and supports. Without the necessary support from services, friends or family, supporting your own health and wellbeing as well as your sons would be incredibly taxing, overwhelming and frustrating to say the least.  I can see from your previous posts that you have been seeking support for you and your son for some time now, which I can hear has made you feel depleted. So, I am wondering how you have been coping during this time? You have also previously mentioned that your son has a number of diagnoses and that you have tried to connect with a number of services for support but to no avail. So, I am also curious to know how your son is doing at the moment?  I look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hey @Babycat ,  Thank you for responding so soon! I’d like to jump in here and acknowledging the efforts you have made not only to support your children but also supporting yourself during this time. It highlights your resilience and your determination which is absolutely incredible!  It sounds like you are going through a lot with your two eldest children, which I can hear is quite stressful for you understandably. This would be challenging to navigate, so I am relieved to know that the school is supporting you and your 16-year-old, and that you are supported by a counsellor. In case you are interested in additional support, @Astra-RO included a link to ReachOut’s Parent Coaching sessions. These are 1:1 support sessions that are free for parents and carers of young people aged 12 to 18. I hope the resources suggested by @Astra-RO are helpful for you and hope that you feel supported around this within the community!      ... View more

Hey @twinsplusone, Welcome to ReachOut’s Parent & Carer community! I’m sorry to hear that your 13-year-old son has run away from home to a house that is known to police. I can hear that you’re unsure how to cope with this, which is really understandable. I also want to take this opportunity to acknowledge your efforts to support yourself and your son, by reaching out to the community. When experiencing something so taxing and overwhelming, it can be difficult to reach out for support. I can see that you are trying your best!  Having your child run away from home is incredibly frightening and knowing that they’ve been at a house known to Police would heighten those parental instincts. It sounds like you may know or have an inkling as to where your son has run off to. Have you been able to communicate with him since he’s run away from home? I am also wondering if this is the first time your son has run away from home?  I can also hear that you don’t know how to cope with this and am interested to know if you have spoken to any friends or family about your son? It can be really helpful to have support around you during difficult times like this. In case you are interested in additional support, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions for parents of young people aged 12-18. Another service that you might also find helpful is Relationships Australia NSW. They offer counselling for individuals and families, and can also provide you with referrals to other services local to you.  An email has also been sent to you to check in offline, so please keep an eye out for that.  ... View more

Hey @Mumofteenagers,  Welcome to ReachOuts Parent & Carer community! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like getting your 15-year-old to school has been really taxing for you. School refusal is really common and can be incredibly challenging to navigate. It’s understandable that you look forward to the weekends, rather than weekdays. I’d like to also acknowledge your efforts in trying to support your son, by reaching out in the community!    Often the school can support you and your son in returning to school and generate strategies to help. I am wondering if you have spoken to the school about your son? It can also be helpful to speak to others about what you’re experiencing, so I am also wondering if you have spoken to any friends or family?    Sometimes for young people there are other contributing factors that can be causing them to refuse to go to school. I am interested to know if you’ve had a chance to speak to your son about why he doesn’t want to go to school? I encourage you to also explore this topic on School Refusal that includes a number of articles with tips and advice that you may find helpful. In case you are also interested in additional support for yourself, ReachOut offers 1:1 Parent Coaching sessions for parents & carers of children aged 12-18.    I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hey @vidkavoo,  Thank you for joining the community and sharing what you’re going through. I can see that your son’s behaviour has been challenging, with him being disrespectful towards you and agitated by your protectiveness. I want to take a moment here to acknowledge your self-awareness and accountability for wanting to make sure your son is safe, seeing as he is your only child. All parents want to keep their child/children safe, so it’s understandable that you’d like reassurance around where he is. This is completely valid and normal.    It sounds like wanting to keep your child safe has led to your son becoming agitated with you, trying to push boundaries and rules around the home. I imagine that with your son being in his final year of school, navigating exams might also be a contributing factor to how he has been acting. Speaking to others about your son can be really helpful, so I am interested to know if you’ve spoken to any friends or family about what you’re going through? Sometimes, the school can also be a great support for you and your son and can give you some advice around his behaviours.    While you are navigating through these challenges, it is important to ensure that you are taking care of yourself as well. I am curious to know how you have been managing your wellbeing during this time? In case you are interested in additional support, ReachOut offers 1:1 parent coaching sessions that are free for parents of young people aged 12-18.   I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hey @Sandee ,  Welcome back to ReachOut! I am so glad to hear from you again. I’d like to start off by acknowledging you and your husband's resilience, perseverance and ongoing support for your son. I can see that together you have made changes to your parenting style and have attempted to connect with various support and crisis services. I can imagine how taxing this all must be for you both and really hope you and your husband can see that your incredible parents, trying your best to support your son, even though it may not feel like it at times.  It sounds like things improved with your son after changing schools but now, he won’t complete his work at school. I am wondering if the school has tried to support your son with this issue? I can also see that your son has seen a psychologist a few times within the past 2 years. Is your son still in contact with the psychologist?   From your post, I can hear that you are significantly overwhelmed with your son's ongoing behaviour and reluctance to seek help or communicate. While it is completely understandable and valid for you and your husband to be feeling this way, it is also important to ensure your wellbeing is kept in balance. So, I am interested to know what active support you and your husband are receiving? I also truly admire your efforts to connect with support and crisis services for advice and support. Did you find these services helpful at all?  An email was also sent out to you, so please keep an eye out for that!  I look forward to hearing from you soon.  ... View more

Hey @CloudJumper,  Welcome to ReachOut! I’d like to start off by saying thank you for sharing what you’re experiencing. I can hear how frightened you are and can see how taxing this must be for you. Having experienced this for 12 months shows just how much you have endured, and I admire your resilience and strength to have gone through this during this time. I hope you can see how incredible you are, as an individual and a parent!  While parenting alone is challenging, having a child with multiple diagnoses can make parenting that extra bit tougher. I can see that your son has a few diagnoses, and so I am wondering if he is actively seeing a healthcare professional to support him with this? It sounds like you are also feeling depleted by the situation and behaviour of your son. I can see that you’ve spoken to others who haven’t given you any helpful advice and have laughed at the citation, which is disappointing and invalidating. I want to reassure you that your feelings are completely valid and you are doing your best to support your son. Given how you are feeling, I am curious to know if you have any professional support for yourself? Someone like a GP or psychologist?  If you’re interested in one-on-one support, ReachOut offers Parent Coaching which is a free coaching service for parents and carers. Another support service that you might find helpful connecting with is Parentline. They offer free telephone counselling and support service for parents and carers with children aged 0 to 18. Finally, Headspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends. This could be a service your son can connect with, and you also - which could be helpful.  An email has also been sent to you, so please keep an eye out for that!  ... View more

Hey @msg83,  Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! It sounds like things have been incredibly challenging for you, your partner and his daughter with the ex-partner. I can see that you and your partner have attempted to contact the Orange Door but were dismissed. Despite the negative interaction, it is incredible to see you both persisting to find support. This is a reflection of how united you both are and the loving relationship you have with your partner. I imagine that this must be a source of great strength for you both as you all navigate this experience. I can hear that there might be some legal issues amongst this situation, so I am wondering if there is a court order in place already between your partner and his ex-partner for their daughter? While I am unable to provide you with any legal advice, I encourage you to contact the Family Relationships Advice Line who are a national telephone service that helps families affected by relationship or separation issues, including information on parenting arrangements after separation. It can also refer callers to local services that provide assistance. I also encourage you to explore the resources available at the Raising Children Network as there might be some information that is useful for you.  With what you are all going through it can be really helpful to see a professional for support, so I am interested to know if you, your partner and his daughter have any professional support?  An email has also been sent to you so please keep an eye out for that.  ... View more

Hey @Edwina71 , I’d like to begin by welcoming you to ReachOut! I’d also like to take a moment and thank you for sharing your concerns with the community. I can hear how taxing it must be for you to be enduring extreme disrespect from your daughter and watching her behaviour change with her being around this one friend. I am curious to know if you’ve had a chance to speak to your daughter about your concerns with this friend? If you’re interested, this article on speaking to your teen about bad friendships contains helpful tips and information to approach such conversations that could be useful for you.  It also sounds like you’re concerned about your daughter being manipulated and being this friend's emotional support, which can be overwhelming for your daughter. Sometimes being supportive can become heavy and may have an effect on one’s wellbeing over time, so I am wondering whether you’ve had the opportunity to check in with your daughter about how she is coping being an emotional support for her friend? I am also curious about what your observations are around the manipulation? Often speaking to family, friends, or a professional can support parents and be helpful in finding solutions or strategies to manage the concerns. Have you spoken to any friends, family or a professional about your daughter and the concerns you have about her behaviour and her relationship with her friend? If you are interested in receiving additional support, Headspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends. They also have in person support available. Another organisation that might be helpful is Beyond Blue - who offer free and confidential counselling and coaching, and ReachOut’s Parent Coaching service, who offer free and confidential one-on-one coaching.  I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon. ... View more

Hey @Mel66 , I’d like to start off by welcoming you to ReachOut and would like to thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing this must all be for you and your family. I would like to acknowledge the endless support you have given your son during this difficult time and numerous attempts to communicate with him despite being met with reluctance and resistance. Being persistent can be challenging and often it can feel overwhelming, so I am curious to know how you have been managing your own wellbeing during this time?  I can hear your concerns around his change of behaviour, loss of interest and threats to ‘off himself’ and can imagine how stressful this must be for you and your family. It would also be difficult to see your son doing well and managing his mental health, to it declining and holding concerns for his well being. I want to share this topic on Suicide and Teenagers that includes a number of articles on communicating, understanding and managing suicide. In particular, this article on creating a safety plan with your teen is a great resource for ensuring your young person's safety and knowing where to go when things get tough.  It is understood that your son has ADHD and was previously medicated for it. I’d imagine that you have an extensive amount of knowledge around this but I just thought I would share this article on how to help your teen with ADHD as it may have new information that could be useful to you.  I look forward to hearing from you soon!  ... View more

Hey @nikki82, Welcome back! Thank you for sharing more about what you've been experiencing. It's encouraging to hear about the positive moment when your son returned home for four days, despite the challenges you're facing with his recent departure. Your feelings about the system's shortcomings are valid and shared by many. Please know that you're not alone in this journey. Wishing you all the best! ... View more

Hey @broken_mumma81, Welcome to ReachOut’s parent and carer community and thank you for sharing your experience. What you are going through must be incredibly heartbreaking and taxing. Have you had a chance to talk to anyone about this, like friends or family? Please know that you are not alone. Many other parents are going through similar situations and can relate to your feelings. Not knowing where your son is can be terrifying, especially knowing he might be with peers who often find trouble. I am interested to know how long you have been experiencing this for? I want to acknowledge the tremendous effort you've put into finding support for your teen and trying to bring him home. It's completely understandable to feel broken, confused, and shattered, especially after repeated efforts that haven't yielded results. I am wondering if you have had any support from the school and if you’ve had the chance to speak to the school about what’s been going on? Considering what you're going through, are you currently seeing a professional for support, like a psychologist or GP? If you're interested in additional support, ReachOut offers free and confidential one-on-one parent coaching sessions. Another resource is Parentline, which provides free and confidential telephone counselling for parents of children and teens aged 0-18. I hope to hear from you soon. ... View more

Hey @Mdi0170, I’d like to start off by welcoming you to ReachOut’s Parent and Carer community. I also want to thank you for sharing what you’ve been experiencing with your child. I can hear that you’ve recently separated from your partner and I imagine this loss has been incredibly overwhelming and painful for you and your child. I am curious to know if you have the support of family and friends as you navigate this new chapter of your life? I am also interested to know what you have been doing to cope with all that’s happened? If you might be interested, we have some resources on separation and divorce, and this one on single parenting which may be validating and informative. They include a number of individual articles that can be helpful for you regarding support for yourself and how you might be able to support your child during and after a separation. I can see how taxing it would be for you to be trying anything you can, including financial benefit, to encourage your child to engage in their school work. Sometimes talking to the school about what is going on with your child can be really helpful. Have you had the chance to speak to the school about the changes in the home and the struggles with school work? This article on helping your teen who is struggling with school could be useful for you as it explores some of the ways you can support them through some school based challenges. I also want to reiterate the importance of taking care of yourself as going through a recent separation would be incredibly difficult and seeing your child going through a tough time would also be heartbreaking to witness. I am wondering if you and your child are seeing a professional for support like a psychologist, counsellor or GP? I look forward to hearing from you soon! ... View more

Hey @chilli918 , Welcome to ReachOut! I would like to thank you for being honest and courageous by sharing what you’re going through. What you are experiencing with your 13 year old daughter would be incredibly taxing to say the least, so it’s completely understandable and valid to be feeling lost, exhausted and helpless. I can also see that you are feeling heartbroken for your daughter and may be afraid of what she might be getting involved in.  Self-care is unlikely to be on your conscience at present but can be really helpful to manage these feelings you have, so I’m wondering if you’ve been able to engage in any self-care? This article on self-care  includes a few tips on self-care and might be helpful for generating new ideas. I was also curious to know if you and your daughter have any social supports together? Sometimes it can help to have another person who is on the same page throughout everything that is happening, whether that be extended family, old friends or teachers? Parents often fail to give themselves the recognition they deserve during these tough times, so It’s important to acknowledge and recognise that you are doing the best you can in such a complex situation! From what you’ve shared I can see that you’ve made sure to support your daughter in any way possible which shows your strength and unconditional love. Despite your daughter not following your boundaries, she is still open and comfortable to communicate with you, which shows the special connection you both share.  It is also important to remember that your wellbeing is just as valuable as your daughters. I can see that you’re connected with a clinical psychologist and are being supported by the school. Have you had the opportunity to check in with your psychologist and discuss how you’re feeling around this? I am also wondering if you’ve been able to speak to any friends or family about what you’re experiencing? It might also be helpful to receive additional support during this time, so I encourage you to connect with ReachOut’s 1:1 parent coaching service that is free and confidential. Additionally, Parentline is another great service that offers free and confidential counselling that might be useful to explore.  I look forward to hearing from you soon! ... View more

Hey @nikki82, Firstly, I’d like to welcome you to ReachOut and thank you for sharing your experience! I can hear how challenging and frightening it must be for you to have your 15 year old son hanging around in unsafe homes. This would be incredibly difficult for any parent, so how you’re feeling is completely understandable. I am wondering how long this has been going on for? I can see that you’ve tried to find your son by connecting with police and reporting him missing. The response you received from police would have been heart wrenching to say the least. Being unable to locate or talk to your son, not knowing what he’s doing is absolutely terrifying and overwhelming. I commend you for trying to communicate and connect with your son, it is really admirable! Besides the police, have you connected with any local community services? You might be interested in connecting with Relationships Australia Queensland (RAQ) who are a leading provider of services that support healthy relationships and wellbeing. They have over 30 centres across Queensland which can be accessed in person, via telephone and online. They may be able to support you further and try to connect you with your son.   It is really easy to neglect your own wellbeing with everything that you’re experiencing, so I am curious if you have spoken about what's going on with friends or family? Sometimes seeing a professional for your own mental health can be really helpful, so I am wondering if you have any professional support at the moment? If you are interested in additional support, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions which might be beneficial for you to discuss your thoughts and emotions.  ... View more

Hey @mummaof3boys,  Welcome to the ReachOut parent and carer community! Thank you for sharing what you’re experiencing. What’s happened with your 13 year old son is incredibly devastating and frightening to say the least. How long has this been going on for?  I imagine you might be feeling hopeless with what’s happened with your son and police. Anyone in your shoes would be feeling largely let down by the response from the police, which is completely understandable and valid! Are there any coping strategies that have been helping you cope with this? Looking after yourself is likely the last thing on your mind being a parent under such circumstances. However, it is incredibly important to seek support for yourself too. I am wondering if you have any professional support at present? If you’re interested in additional support, ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions that can be really helpful for you to discuss how you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing at the moment. Sometimes the school your teen attends can also help by putting strategies into place to better support the young person and parents. I am also curious if you’ve spoken to the school about your 13 year old son?  Relationships Australia Queensland (RAQ) is a leading provider of services that support healthy relationships and wellbeing. RAQ has over 30 centres across Queensland which can be accessed in person, via telephone or Zoom video conference, and online. I encourage you to consider connecting with this service as they may be able to support you and your family during this difficult time. They might also be able to refer you to local services, while trying to connect with your 13 year old son. ... View more

Hey @Imaleo18, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see that things have been exceptionally taxing with your 15 year old daughter. It is understandable that you are feeling scared about letting her date this boy, after everything you had experienced with her when she was 13 years old. I am wondering what boundaries you feel might be important to consider, if your daughter does date this boy?. ReachOut also has a number of informative articles about sex and teenagers, and romantic relationships and teenagers. You might find some of the articles helpful, and they may provide you with some insight and ideas moving forward.  Despite all of this, you were both able to seek counselling for your daughter, make the decision to homeschool her, and even move, which is incredibly admirable. I am wondering if your daughter is still speaking to her counsellor?.  I can see that dad is also against your daughter dating this boy because of what happened in the past. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for the both of you to be faced with this. I am curious if you both have spoken to friends or family about what you’re experiencing? It is also important for the both of you to be able to look after your wellbeing, so I am wondering if you and dad have any professional support? ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions that you might find helpful connecting with and receiving support from.  ... View more

Hey @Iris15, It’s good to see you back in the parent and carer community. Thank you for sharing what you’ve been experiencing recently. I can see how heartbreaking it must be for you to see your son being concerned about being thought of in the same light as the accused. I can hear that you have made an attempt to explain that there are different forms of mental health issues that often have varying degrees. I am curious about how he responded to that? This article on helping your teen cope with bad world news might give you some new insight and advice.  It would also be incredibly tough for your son to be viewing himself in such a terrifying way. Your post from 2022 noted that your son was seeing a counsellor/psychologist, Is your son still receiving this support? It might be helpful for him to explore this topic here with any professional he might be accessing.  With all that’s gone on, I am curious about how you’re coping through all of this. Have you been able to confide in someone around the stigma your son is noticing?  ... View more

Hey @Irishmum, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing things have been for you with your 14 year old staying out at night, not knowing where they are, while coming home intoxicated and injured. If you feel comfortable sharing, how long has this been going on for? I am also wondering how your teen has responded to conversations you have had with them about this? ReachOut has an article on setting boundaries with your teenager that you might find helpful and another on risk taking and teenagers that might give you some additional insight. I imagine how stressful this must be and can see that you’ve tried to receive support but have been faced with referral waiting lists. This must be really exhausting and frustrating to say the least. I am wondering if you’ve had contact with the school about what's been happening? The school can be a great support for parents as they usually work with you to find solutions and support. It sounds like you can also see how important professional support might be for your young person. Until they are able to get access to professional support, we have a youth online community that may be useful to share with your young person whilst you're waiting for professional support. I'm also curious if your young person has had any experience with professional support before? There is a resource on preparing your teen for professional help which may be useful if this will be their first experience of therapy. I also want to note the importance of managing your own wellbeing while going through difficult times. Have you spoken to friends and family about what you’re experiencing? For a parent, seeing a professional can also be incredibly helpful, so I am wondering if you’ve previously connected with professional support? ReachOut offers free 1:1 parent coaching sessions that I encourage you to connect with. Headspace is another service that offers free counselling online and over the phone for parents and resources that may also be really helpful for you. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for it!  ... View more

Hey @Phil0b3dd03, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how incredibly taxing things have been for you and your wife recently. It must be really difficult for you both to witness your eldest daughter being treated the way she is by your eldest son. It is understandable that you’re feeling angry and beginning to resent your son after making numerous attempts to stop his behaviour. ReachOut has a few articles on Family conflict and Teenagers that you might find helpful.  It is really important to look after your own wellbeing which can be near impossible when you’re going through such a difficult time. Have you and your wife spoken to any friends and family or professional support previously? I encourage you to connect with ReachOut’s 1:1 free parent coaching that might be helpful for you and your wife.  I can also see that your 19 year old daughter has been verbally abusive towards you and your wife. This would be heartbreaking to say the least and not something you and your wife should be confronted with. I am curious if she has any professional support and if you’ve checked in with your daughter about her wellbeing? I was also curious to know whether you've been able to set any boundaries or consequences with your son about his behaviour if he's not receptive to your previous talks? We have a piece on setting realistic boundaries with teenagers which may help. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for that! ... View more

Hey @Hope42, Welcome to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing your experience! I can see that you really resonate with this post based on your experience with your young person self-harming. I want to emphasise that feeling shocked and overwhelmed by the scars is an incredibly normal reaction for any parent. To see the harm your teen has inflicted on themselves can be confronting to say the least and may also be uncomfortable to think about or look at - as you mentioned. I am really glad that you've had the opportunity to understand the psychology behind why individuals self-harm and realising that you most definitely aren't alone! I can see that this has enabled you to have a different approach and reaction towards your teen, which can help them feel comfortable to reach out for support when they need it. I also want to acknowledge how admirable you are for the endless amount of effort you are putting in to support your teen. It shows just how resilient you are!  I can see how difficult it would be to manage your own wellbeing with what's been going on. It is important to maintain your wellbeing while caring for your teen, so I am wondering how you have been coping through all of this? ReachOut offers free and confidential 1:1 Parent Coaching which can be really helpful for parents to debrief and receive support.  An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for it!  ... View more

Hey @IsThereAnyHelp, Firstly, I would like to welcome you to the ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see how taxing and exhausting things have been for you. Being separated from your children is heartbreaking to say the least and having an IVO against you has made it unbelievably difficult for you. It is completely understandable and valid to feel the way to do!  I want to acknowledge the extensive amount of effort you have put in to be reunited with your kids. I can see how deflated you might be feeling after being repeatedly pushed away from seeing your children. It’s admirable that you are still trying your best despite all of this.  It is really important to look after yourself during this time, so I am wondering if you have any professional support in place? I am also curious to know if you’ve spoken to friends and family about this? I encourage you to contact 1800RESPECT for additional support and advice to get through this. An email has also been sent to you so keep an eye out for that. ... View more