31st May - ReachOut Parents Coaching! All your questions answered.

[Ngaio-RO]

That makes absolutely perfect sense @TBS-Coach1 I love that idea of addressing stuff early, if you can but that this will still help if early has passed and things are now difficult.

Ok. We're over time so I need to let the coaches go. I want to say thanks so much to TBS and the coaches @TBS-Coach1 and also @taokat and @GrhRo and @Beekeeper for being involved. If you haven't had your question answered I'm sure the coaches will get to it before they head off.

So what I’ve learned from tonight is that coaching is this great service that is available over the phone with parts of it done on a computer. So you need both. It can fit around all sorts of other life things and you may be done in a single session or you may want the whole 4. The coaches are able to support a parent dealing with a teenager who has almost no issues all the way up to a teenager who is really struggling, even if they’re struggling with a range of things, and that’s because they work with strengths and provide suggestions about things you can do right away that will help address the main issue that getting in the way of your relationship with your teenager. So ultimately, you end up with a stronger connection with your teenager that they feel too. And best of all, it’s FREE!

Click here to check it out or sign up.

[taokat]

Good point @GrhRo. I will say that coaching can help give you as the parent techniques and a better understanding of our teens behaviour, which can help to ease the situation. We can learn what tools we can give our teens to use to let us know they are angry or agitiated, without needing to be abusive or violent.

Our best thing that started us off was a jar full of water and glitter that my daughter would come out and shake furiously, telling me her glitter was going everywhere.  

[taokat]

It's been a fantastic night! Thank you so much @TBS-Coach1 for sharing your knowledge with us!

Thanks to you too @Ngaio-RO, @GrhRo, @Beekeeper, and @Big_Crab! Goodnight all!

[TBS-Coach1]

@GrhRo Safety is imperative for us ... like doctors, nurses, teachers in many states we’re mandatory reporters.

This means that we want to make sure that parents and carers, and their teens are safe. During our conversations with parents if we hear that someone might be at risk of being hurt or hurting somebody, we may need to let someone else know who can help.

This way we can all work together to keep make sure there is safety.

[TBS-Coach1]

@taokat @Ngaio-RO @GrhRo @Beekeeper @Big_Crab 

Many thanks for having us here tonight.

Hopefully we've managed to answer some of your questions about coaching :-)

Happy parenting!

[GrhRo]

I really like the glitter jar idea. Thanks for sharing everything you share @taokat

[GrhRo]

Thanks @TBS-Coach1

I was wondering about that. You provide a great service and much needed initiative.

[taokat]

@GrhRo, no, you're not being negative. Your questions are perfect as safety is an issue, and is important for families to be able to maintain for themselves, other family members, and the teen themselves.

If my daughter became violent or abusive, it was a must to call the police. No questions. And it's hard to do that as a parent, but that behaviour cannot be accepted, no matter what. It's a consequence that is for everyone's safety. They cannot think they can get away with violent or abusive behaviour now, or they will think it is okay to behave that way as an adult.

[GrhRo]

respect to you @taokat 

It would be a very difficult decision.

In my mind tonight I was thinking through where to place the various services and interventions. I was wondering if people knew what was available to them, and if people experiencing trauma or violence, or there was a high safety risk to child or adult, would they approach a service like ReachOut or Coaching as they really were at a loss or had no idea of where to turn.

Sometimes time to act is crucial. It is good to hear coaching also has a mandatory reporting policy.

You are a great contributor to this forum @taokat. Your personal experiences, honest and considered responses are valuable to many I am sure. Thank you

[taokat]

Thank you @GrhRo, that's really kind of you to say. You ask a very valid question. Thinking back to 6 years ago, I had no idea where to turn, and no idea what was happening or why. I became aware of services because initially the only thing I knew to do was call the Police to take my daughter, and I was taken to hospital because I was suicidal. My daughter stayed with my parents for 4 months, until they couldn't cope and were making arrangements for foster care. I couldn't do it, and she came home with me, and I have grasped at all the help I could, which started off with DoCs who I think set us up with TBS.

I blog and I might start writing here more about how bad things were, hoping that if parents can see that others are talking about it, it may encourage them to seek help and understand that these places are not about judgement, but about help and support, and healing families.

Time to act is crucial, but that time is never too late! I'd love to show parents that getting help really can change the situation.