Custody exchange

[Aussiedad94]

Hi, I’m just seeking advice on what is best for the child at custody exchange time. My daughters mother and I meet at a park for custody exchange, my daughter is always anxious and not wanting to talk to me when she first arrives and likewise does the same to her mum when I drop her back because we have only been doing this for 4 months now. I’m always very positive when dropping her back to mum and try to make the exchange quick because otherwise it drags out, mum however never encourages my daughter to talk to me and usually cuddles her and ignores me for minimum of 20 minutes every drop off and usually sticks around for an hour before letting me leave with her but I do not get that hour back with my daughter. How long should custody exchange take?
I just feel as though there has got to be an easier way to do this as I feel as thought it’s not good for my daughter to see her mother ignore me and speak rudely to me when she does have to talk to me.

[Courtney-RO]

Hi @Aussiedad94 and welcome to the ReachOut forums!

Thank you for sharing a little bit about your situation with us. I'm so sorry to hear about the trouble you have been having during these custody exchanges. It sounds like such an incredibly stressful time, especially hearing how anxious this makes your daughter. As you mentioned that you didn’t want your daughter to see her mother ignore you or speak rudely to you, I was wondering if you have been able to talk to your daughters mother about this at all and the impact it might be having on your daughter?

The Raising Children's Network has a number of really great articles on Co-Parenting and even Conflict Management, if you were interested in having a bit of a read. I wonder if they might be able to give you a bit more of an idea on what you can do to make this a little easier on you. Do you think they might be helpful at all?

I am mindful of the impact this must all be having on you and wonder what kind of supports you have around you at the moment? Is there anyone that you feel comfortable talking to about this? If you would ever like to talk to someone, it might be worth reaching out to a service like Parentline which is available via both phone and webchat.

I thought it might also be worth mentioning that ReachOut offers free one-on-one support with an experienced professional for parents looking to navigate parenting. You can find more information on this service here if this is something you might be interested in. 

We are all here for you.