Hello dear, I know you're under a lot of stress due to your daughters self harm and wondering where you went wrong. Children self harm due to various reasons, being unable to cope with stress, being bullied, sexually abused and anxiety are some of the reasons. Your 12 year old is at a very tender age and does not have coping skills to deal with stress. Please be a support to her. Build her confidence that no matter what you are always there for her. Knee jerk reaction from you will just isolate her and make her feel that you don't understand her. When my 12 year old started to self harm,she confessed to feeling like a failure , feeling worthless. Teachers in school were constantly after her back because she was not doing well in school, homework was never handed in on time. So we started to focus on her studies and made sure we worked with her and gave her lots of support. One year down the line she has scored above 80% in her exam results and has a very strong sense of achievement. All her teachers praise her performance in class. Now she looks forward to going to school. It's been almost 8-9 months sines she harmed herself. All children want is our support, find out the cause of her self harm and deal with he root cause. All the best. ... View more