Thank for the supportive words and warm welcome. This has been weighing heavily on my mind but not for the most obvious reasons. If this is truly who she is and how she feels I can very easily support it. But having given it a lot of thought, not out of denial I have to wonder if she even has any idea. I think it is more of trying to be 'different' like everyone else she looks up to, if that makes sense. She spends a great deal of time watching online videos, Youtubers of sort. she is a very obsessive one, she can't like anything a little, she either does not like it or she is obsessed with it, one day it was Dora, seems the next is was One Direction, Then something else, then something else, NOW it is these on liners, and Stranger things. I know a lot of her online obsessions are trans. I mean its perfectly natural to be born and prefer one gender over another, but her having not engaged in any sorts of relationships what so ever I find it difficult to believe that she's had this life long yearning and attraction to trans. After all we live in sleepy Ohio, her only exposure to them is when I take her to a show to see the kids she watches live. Meet and greets they call them here. I'm sure they have similar south of the equator. There has been no additional discussion. She has seemed cheerful, maybe relieved? I worried she might be DISAPPOINTED, hoping to share in the common pain of her online piers in having a household melt down over the introduction of the idea. At this point I am just loving her and acting as though its not a big deal, because in reality it really isn't be it real or an act of confirmation. She has a supportive big sister to keep an eye out for her as well.
... View more
Last night my daughter came out to me that she was Pansexual. Actually I kind of gently drew it out of her. I stumbled upon an email she had written seeking advice from someone that she was Pansexual and did not know how to 'come out' to her parents. So I arranged for some one on one time with her and started the conversation assuring her that I loved her more than anything in the whole world, unconditionally. I told her about the email, asked her if it were true or was she just goofing on the internet. She confided that it was true. I told her I loved her and supported her. I want to take it seriously, Because I feel like I am holding a bomb that could go off with the slightest wrong movement. . . . . She is 13, has engaged in no relationships what so ever as of yet. So how she has defined herself in this way I think is a whole issue. we live in a sleepy little town in the Midwest. Yet somehow she feels she is attracted to transgenders? I am trying to figure out how to best handle this. If I am not careful it could become a big mess in a couple directions. If I take any action towards it it is going to push her away. But I know she is walking down a very narrow dangerous path as well. She is going to be starting high school in the fall and they have this whole club for these things. I worry that association with such will draw her bullying, and I also know that most of the other kids involved are just messed up little campers trying to be different and raise their parents stress levels. I also know that substance abuse and suicide runs rampant in those circles. She is very easily influenced. I've long worried about that. I worry that setting her free to follow her feelings is also exposing her to bad influences. Sad thing is I know she is getting all this from her internet obsessions. Part of me thinks its a phase that will come and go like her love for Dora, One Direction other similar things she no longer cares about. But part of me worries that it may lead her to a deeper darker obsession (Like drugs, alcohol, depression.) Ya always look at parents with train wrecks of kids and you wonder, 'Why didn't they see the signs? Why didn't they prevent the problem before it got to where it did. I feel like I am at one of those check points where I need to do SOMETHING. Accepting/supporting and trusting her sister to be eyes and ears is one option. I feel like she EXPECTS me to try to stand in her way and she is prepared to rebel. Trying to figure out how to best handle this. At this point all I've done is tell her I loved her unconditionally and accept who she feels she is. She seems relieved. I'm hoping that with that the novelty might wear off (She doesn't have an I came out and my parents are a mess sob story to share with the others online. I love my daughter deeply and could easily accept the idea if it is legit. I just worry that she is playing a role for attention (I gotta be different, just like everyone else) that will lead her to bad places. Worried that it could be a gateway to worse and worse influence.
... View more