So my husband and I have been together 9 years. I have 2children from a previous relationship 12yr boy and 9yr girl (bio dad is deceased) hubby has a 11yr boy he lives with us full-time and we have a 3yr son together. Step son came to live with us full-time 3.5 years ago. His mother sees him every second weekend and half school holidays. there is no rules at her house all he does all weekend is play video games or watches movies. in the last 9 years she has moved house over 15 times and continues to have boyfriends that do and sell drugs, that perpetrated domestic violence around him and she has had 4 different boyfriends that have done this, she also takes drugs. when he came to live with us in grade 3 he was at below a prep level at school and still cant talk properly (video games and tv cant teach a child to talk, write or spell) she would tell him the answers for his homework to get it out of the way (she would get the answers wrong). he is now at a grade 4-5 level at school and he is in grade 6 but that has only been since living with us. she begs for extra time when she is coming down from a bender. she wont get a job and the child has started to say he wants to live with his mother again. my step sons behaviour has been increasingly getting worse to the point today i caught him damaging a plastic container. i didn't even want to go upstairs i was actually scared. he has threatened to hurt my elderly mother. he has ADHD and developmental language disorder i tried to have him tested for ASD but they said due to the trauma he has it simulates the same symptoms as ASD is a child with ADHD. I have tried everything all different therapies, grounding, taking away devices and tv but nothing works. he thinks he is always in trouble and more than the other kids which isn't true they are all punished equally when they misbehave. I dont know what to do anymore and neither does my husband. I FEEL SO DEFEATED RIGHT NOW   ... View more