My 16 year old son was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder at four years old following some major separation issues when he started kindy. The assessment and diagnosis was instigated by the teaching staff. He would hang on the gate crying for the entire session because nobody could “prove” to him that I wouldn’t  be killed in an accident while I was away from him. His anxiety also caused issues such as refusal to attend parties, go to sleepovers etc.   He found making friends very difficult and was never part of a large social group. He stopped being invited to parties after his continual refusal to attend. Other kids just gave up on him.   We eventually muddled along fairly well using some strategies provided to us by the psychologist until some serious bullying in year 6 caused huge setbacks and school refusal. At that point he very reluctantly saw a psychologist (CBT and mindfulness techniques).   After half a dozen sessions we were advised that he was “resistant to therapy” as he simply sat and observed and would not offer any discussion, or participate in anything. He is academically gifted and essentially treated the whole process with disdain. His analogy was that it was like watching a magician when you already knew how to do the tricks. The psychologist actually said to us “You are wasting your money. You can lead a horse to water. This is not for him.”   Since then his anxiety is always present but is usually manageable until a few weeks ago when it manifested as major health anxiety. The trigger is a complete mystery but he has complained of transient shifting leg pain. He is constantly checking minor lumps and bumps and is convinced they are cancer. He asks us dozens of times a day to feel various bumps and reassure him that he does not have cancer. (We are not medically trained and keep reminding him of this).    He is acutely aware that his thought process is illogical but he is unable to switch off his concerns. Anything less than proof will not do. He has seen a physio this week who has assured him that the pain in his leg is a minor sprain but he still is not convinced. He says that sometimes pain = cancer so it could be that.   I have discussed seeing his GP for help with his anxiety but he does not want to go because “unless I get an MRI to prove that I don’t have cancer there is no point”. He spends hours a day researching symptoms despite knowing logically that the internet is not going to be reassuring.   He refuses to get help, will not participate in therapy, and expects that I will provide him with reassurance. We have had sleepless night where he sobs because he does not want to feel like this anymore and begs me to help him feel better (and only me, not a professional). It is wearing me out.   But my choice seems to be to keep talking him down from his anxiety and his crises myself or have him decompensate and refuse to go to school. He is stubborn and intelligent and it is a difficult combination to deal with. I need external help for him but he won’t accept it. I’m stuck.    We have discussed medication and he is amenable to something to help reduce his anxiety, I think though this is only because popping a pill seems an easy way for him to deal with it rather than having to sit and talk to someone. However he is terrified that it might also slow down his thought processes, and as his intelligence and academic skills are really his only source of self confidence he does not want to risk his academic ability by trialling medication.   So sorry for my very long first post. I’m hoping someone else has a stubborn, resistant, gifted, anxious, hypochondriac teen and has figured out how to progress past total reliance on their mum.   ... View more