Thank you to all that responded. I appreciate it, very much. I am going day by day and sometimes hour by hour. I feel like we are going everything we can and it is still out of our hands. It is devastating to imagine our family without her.
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I am writing to ask for insights and support. A week ago today, I was contacted at work by my daughter’s teacher; her friend’s mother contacted her urgently because my daughter was threatening suicide. I was stunned. I had no idea at all. My husband and I went home immediately, confirmed that my daughter had not just said this, but had a plan (date, a particularly lethal method, and the means to carry it out). She had also been self harming herself. We took her to ER, which was of limited help. Two days later we were able to get her in to see an urgent psychologist (not psychiatrist). Today (the day she planned to kill herself) we saw her family physician who prescribed an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication. I try to talk to her, but she is not forthcoming (everything is “fine”). I asked her today if she regretted that she was stopped from carrying out her plan and she said she was. I am terrified. She says she does not have a suicide plan now, but how can I trust that? She will continue with therapy and medication (and we will watch for the increased risk of that).
I am struggling to understand everything. How can I help her, and what can I say that is supportive, and how do I stop hovering over her, and what are the things I am saying that make things worse? We are removing things that she could use to hurt herself, but she can always find more options. We are trying to monitor her devices, but she can delete things. We are trying to have someone in the house at all times, but she could find ways to evade that, I am sure. Everything in our lives is flipped upside down. I need to be strong for her, and for our other daughter, and I need to find hope. I just don’t know how. I will see a therapist myself in two days. But how do I talk to my daughter in ways that are supportive? How do I create a positive environment rather than making home stressful from my own fear? Will this ever be better?
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